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Post by drewsmom595 on Sept 7, 2007 4:51:41 GMT -5
It's been three years since my Dad was murdered, and although I've made progress that I don't cry every time I think about him...memories of him usually end up bringing tears in my eyes.
I think it's because losing him was so painful and the horrible way he died.
I hope some day I can remember him with smiles and laughter, and not so many tears.
Do you still cry when you think of your loved one?
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Post by kirsten on Sept 7, 2007 9:18:10 GMT -5
When my mom frist died I cried all the time. For a few weeks I just tried not to think about it. Now I try to remember the good times, but sometimes I cant hold it and I break down. I almost started crying in the middle of campus when I was walking to class yesterday. Something was on my side because my class was canceled so I got to come home and let it out. After I cry a little bit, I usually feel better and can think of the good things without another breakdown that day.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Sept 7, 2007 11:10:34 GMT -5
It has been over 6 years for us.
I can remember wonderful things about her, and even laugh about them and smile once in a while now. But will usually end up sad or in tears once I have thought about it for a while.
At least the traumatic memories are not the first things I think of every single time anymore.
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Post by taterfay on Sept 7, 2007 13:29:51 GMT -5
I don't cry nearly as much as I used to, but a couple of times per month (sometimes more) I cry a bunch and then I feel so much better. I admit that sometimes when mom or Sarah pop into my head I try to distract myself nowadays. Other times I just let myself fully feel it all...
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Post by carolyn on Sept 8, 2007 17:52:31 GMT -5
I cry nearly everyday. 2 years of crying you would think I would be dried out by now.
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Post by tamècasmom on Sept 9, 2007 7:05:58 GMT -5
Honestly, I am not sure if I cry everyday because since my daughter's death days and nights are not the same sometimes it seems like a day of sadness goes longer than 24 hours. I can say I have a moment of sadness everyday because I think of my daughter everyday since she was born which means even in her death.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Sept 9, 2007 7:15:34 GMT -5
I have tears brought to my eyes almost every day. Like Janet, my 1st thoughts aren't always the murders for a while now. I think WITHOUT our wonderful memories we wouldn't be sane. I'm very thankful for them. I think my tears for a while now are for knowing the murders could have been prevented. Don't you wish there were some time machine or SOMETHING where you could go back and everyone had done what they were supposed to and maybe there wouldn't have been any murder?
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Post by Charlene on Sept 9, 2007 7:40:44 GMT -5
How is the baby doing, Taterfay? I don't cry nearly as much as I used to, but a couple of times per month (sometimes more) I cry a bunch and then I feel so much better. I admit that sometimes when mom or Sarah pop into my head I try to distract myself nowadays. Other times I just let myself fully feel it all...
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Sept 9, 2007 7:44:23 GMT -5
I have tears brought to my eyes almost every day. Like Janet, my 1st thoughts aren't always the murders for a while now. I think WITHOUT our wonderful memories we wouldn't be sane. I'm very thankful for them. I think my tears for a while now are for knowing the murders could have been prevented. Don't you wish there were some time machine or SOMETHING where you could go back and everyone had done what they were supposed to and maybe there wouldn't have been any murder? Pumpkin, that is what got me started talking to the juvies (after several years, and after trial was over of course). After I learned about the murderers juvenile records, and how little was done about them. I don't know in our case if their paths could have been changed or not, even if more had been done, but I just felt I had to at least try somehow. I am so used to crying now, it really does not surprise me anymore. But then I work at home now too, so that is easier for me. That was much harder when I was still working in client offices - I had to take those walks to release tension whenever I could to try to keep it together. What it sometimes hardest now for me, is that few other people will LET me talk about our Bethena. Even just sharing a happy memory as we talk about our kids, some people will simply not respond or just change the subject. The elephant in the room thing. She was a real person. She lived. She gave laughter and love to my life and many others. It is so sad to me that some people are so afraid to talk about people who were murdered. My best friends now are those who will let me be myself, and actually talk with me about the part of my life that was raising and loving our Bethena too.
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Post by Misty419 on Oct 4, 2007 3:21:55 GMT -5
well its been 4 years and 9 months for me
I still cry when I think about weyman, the pain is still so fresh, maybe because we just finished going through all the court stuff and maybe because others wont let me rest ( like my Mother) For me I just try not to think about it at all,
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Post by purples on Oct 4, 2007 4:33:24 GMT -5
how can you remember a loved one that was taken from us and not cry. Almost 2 years has went by and i'm a totally different person. I find my self just trying to focus on my baby. I'm so upset with the justice system. I don't understand how they let criminals get away with less time for taking a life. manslaughter- murder cry a little then cry alot sometimes it helps!
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Post by drewsmom595 on Oct 5, 2007 5:19:14 GMT -5
Hey purples:
THanks for posting. Yes, crying usually does help me feel better. It's just very upsetting to me that I can't think about my Dad for very long without missing him so much that I start crying.
I can't believe how many tears I've shed in 3 (soon to be 4) years. It seems impossible that I have that much water in my system.
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on Oct 5, 2007 5:40:24 GMT -5
I will surely cry more the day I dont think of her....... oxoxoxox toni
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Post by friends4ever on Oct 7, 2007 23:59:18 GMT -5
December 28th will be 12 years since Becky's murder, I still have days that I cry because I miss her so much. Different years have brought different reactions, the first year was disbelief, the 2nd was like it hit all over again, the pain was as fresh as day one, I felt that way again the 7th year. There have been many more years that I think of her with smiles and happy memories.
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Post by nomi67 on Oct 10, 2007 0:13:07 GMT -5
You may learn to live with a tragedy like yours(and mine), but it leaves a wound that never really goes away. You have my sympathy...I know how bad it can make you fell. Take care.....Nomi
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Post by drewsmom595 on Oct 26, 2007 20:32:56 GMT -5
Very true, Nomi!!!
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Post by wordup on Oct 27, 2007 0:57:33 GMT -5
Everyone has said what I feel about the question, But I will just add, to it that I still find myself getting chocked up,then I would say to my husband, I'm having a Tre'devin moment. it hurts the same as it did the day he was taken, So I feel what you feel. and understand the pain.
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Post by denise on Nov 7, 2007 0:59:12 GMT -5
I still cry. There are days where I cant deal with Leah's death. Every day I think about her and the terror she went through. I will never forget Leah or what she ment to me. I know the hurt and anger will never go away.
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Post by brycesdad on Nov 8, 2007 22:30:29 GMT -5
I have cried every day since my Bryce was taken from me. Sometimes it just comes from nowwhere. I pray that it gets better. I hope I will one day be able to remember the good times and smile. But now it is just to painful.
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on Nov 26, 2008 0:30:37 GMT -5
still cryin.....just dropped in to see you guys......miss ya'll ill post again soon
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Post by kandy on Nov 27, 2008 17:21:59 GMT -5
It has been 5 months and 16 days... i cry everyday still. missing someone you cared for sucks... i miss everything about Glen.... He makes me smile cry alot too... When I hear his laugh over something silly I do... a music I hear really gets me because we both enjoyed music. Thankful for His Love...
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Post by drewsmom595 on Jan 18, 2009 8:56:37 GMT -5
It's been over a year since I started this thread. I really haven't made a whole lot of progress in this area over the past year, but maybe just a little bit.
Last night, I was at my Mom's house, and she brought out baby pictures of my Dad that I had never seen before. It really is amazing how some people, no matter how old they are, look a lot like their baby photos. I made it through about 10 photos, and then one picture just tugged at my heart because he looked so vulnerable. And tears started welling up in my eyes, and I felt such tremendous sadness.
I HATE that I memories of him are somehow wired in my brain to bring me to tears.
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Post by uncleeddiesniece on Mar 1, 2009 0:17:02 GMT -5
it will be 9 years this August and I still cry when I think about my Uncle. It makes me so sad to think about how violent a death he endured. There are times that I can think about him and smile, however, the tears come.....even tho I try to hold it back. I dont know if I will ever be able to think about him and not cry!!
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Post by gladriel on Mar 13, 2009 11:46:26 GMT -5
My dad was murdered March 13th 1983, thats 26 yrs ago, though I witnessed his murder I try key word try to keep the crying hidden away from everyone because they do not understand that even though it happened when I was 17 those visions and words haunt me til this day!So today being our sadiversary I decided to stay home all day with no interuptions and think of a way to try to understand all these emotions and well....cry! So, in answer to your question yes yes yes I still cry when my mind breaks down and lets those feeling back in. I hope only good thoughts for you...Lorraine
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Post by kellik on Mar 26, 2009 13:53:54 GMT -5
Every single day of the last 9 months since my husband killed my mother.....cry,scream,cry,scream....on and on and on and on...........
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Post by anakahashi008 on Mar 29, 2009 14:40:17 GMT -5
Indeed, I do and often.
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Post by cpruitt78 on Apr 9, 2009 15:36:09 GMT -5
It has been 17 months and counting- I still can have one simple thought of her and I cry... It can be a song, passind a place where we have been together, a color she liked- almost anything and I cry... THen there are times I revert back to being numb- All a part of this roller coaster ride we call grief...
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Post by nanaof4 on Apr 14, 2010 1:36:03 GMT -5
It's been 8 years since my sisters disappearance and I still cry when I think about certain things.It's gotten easier with the help from elders in my church,but I still want to scream.I can start to actually get to deal with the disappearance and death of my sister until she is found and put to rest.Until we have closure
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Apr 14, 2010 4:46:45 GMT -5
It's been 8 years since my sisters disappearance and I still cry when I think about certain things.It's gotten easier with the help from elders in my church,but I still want to scream.I can start to actually get to deal with the disappearance and death of my sister until she is found and put to rest.Until we have closure Dear nanaof4, I'm very sorry that your Sister hasn't been found. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. I know what you mean to a degree about wanting to scream. I have days when I think the worst of everyone and everything and just want to be alone (ESPECIALLY on the anniversary of the murders in my family). Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Apr 17, 2010 4:20:51 GMT -5
It's been 8 years since my sisters disappearance and I still cry when I think about certain things.It's gotten easier with the help from elders in my church,but I still want to scream.I can start to actually get to deal with the disappearance and death of my sister until she is found and put to rest.Until we have closure Hello nanaof4, I am so sorry your sister was taken from you. I hope that someone will come forward with some information someday to help you find at least some relief in this horror. I know a man who I met at an MVS support group, he tells us the story of when his brother shot him. He had a death experience from which he did come back. He remembers God holding him and taking all the pain away, and being surrounded by this warm and peaceful light while he was there. I hope and pray that knowing your sister is in God's care can help you at least a bit too. Of course, they should have been here with us, and would be if not for those who took them from us. I don't know if this grief will ever close, I can't see any sign of that myself. But I hope we all can help each other to find at least some relief and comforts whereever we can. I am so sorry you have reason to be here, but welcome you to the board.
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