|
Post by ilyrickyndgeorge on Jul 12, 2010 15:54:23 GMT -5
ALL THE TIME!!!
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 13, 2010 6:39:56 GMT -5
Dear ilyrickyndgeorge, I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. Take care.
|
|
|
Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Aug 1, 2010 9:10:03 GMT -5
Not every day anymore, after 9 and 1/2 years, but almost every day yes. such as yesterday - wonderful things - lunch of tacos with grandkids, shopping with my living daughter and granddaughter - seeing my granddaughter's joy at her new shoes And then thinking on the way home, Beth should have been, could have been with us. And getting home and hearing one of "her" songs playing, and the tears pouring out. Their love and all the things we loved doing with them will never be forgotten. And I think I am even better off if I do cry than if I try to hold it in - holding it in seems to bring on worse things, for me anyway. Hoping all are doing okay this weekend, and hanging in there
|
|
|
Post by jimsub47 on Aug 3, 2010 16:20:21 GMT -5
it has been 8 yrs since my dana was murdered and yes i bawl like a baby when i think of her maybe it is because law enforcement and i know who killed her (husband) but they dont have enough evidence to bring charges, there is no closure
|
|
|
Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Aug 3, 2010 22:17:55 GMT -5
it has been 8 yrs since my dana was murdered and yes i bawl like a baby when i think of her maybe it is because law enforcement and i know who killed her (husband) but they dont have enough evidence to bring charges, there is no closure Hi jimsub, I am so sorry for you are missing your loved one. I wish it never had to be so. And I oh how I hope and pray that someone who knows something will do the right thing and come forward with information someday, to help you find some relief from some justice for Dana. I also do believe they will face justice on their judgment day, no matter what. That is one they will not be able to escape for sure. I hope you can find some kind of comfort and relief, or at least be able to vent here. Blessings are wished for you, Janet
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Aug 5, 2010 6:43:02 GMT -5
it has been 8 yrs since my dana was murdered and yes i bawl like a baby when i think of her maybe it is because law enforcement and i know who killed her (husband) but they dont have enough evidence to bring charges, there is no closure Dear jimsub47, I'm very sorry about Dana. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. I also hope that 1 day justice is done in your case. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
|
|
|
Post by Tapestry on Aug 7, 2010 18:24:22 GMT -5
After my dad's murder I think there were years I didn't cry at all. Then, when I started, I cried every day. I still do.
|
|
|
Post by mom2young on Dec 23, 2011 0:30:31 GMT -5
For me it's been 1994 when my mom was killed by her husband of 12 yrs. My husband, brother, and dad never mention her, it's like she never existed. I feel I cannot tell my kids about their grandmother they never knew. I start shaking if ever if someone asks about how my mom died. Sometimes when I am working, I just lie,say cancer, so I don't break down at work. I am so so so sick of suffering. I feel there has never been anyone to talk to about this.
|
|
|
Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Dec 23, 2011 11:35:47 GMT -5
For me it's been 1994 when my mom was killed by her husband of 12 yrs. My husband, brother, and dad never mention her, it's like she never existed. I feel I cannot tell my kids about their grandmother they never knew. I start shaking if ever if someone asks about how my mom died. Sometimes when I am working, I just lie,say cancer, so I don't break down at work. I am so so so sick of suffering. I feel there has never been anyone to talk to about this. Hi mom2young, I'm so sorry you have reason to be here, that your precious mother was taken from you, but glad you found the board. I have vented and found people to talk here to about all of this for many years now. It has helped me, and I hope it can help you In response to some of your other posts, as well as this one.... If I don't want to talk about what was done to my daughter at work, I will just say something like "she is in Heaven now, and I'd rather just leave it at that so I don't get upset at work". I have pictures of my daughter in my house (she was murdered in 2001). When my 3 oldest grandchildren have asked me who that was in her pictures, I told them she was my daughter, their mommy's sister. They asked me where she was, I told them some very bad men hurt her, and hurt her so badly that even the best doctors could not help her, so God took her to Heaven to be with Him. One of them then asked me if the bad men would come get him too, and I told him no, the police had caught them and the judge had made sure they could never get out to hurt anyone else. Then we talked about what she was like, and how she loved babies, and the things we thought she would have loved to do with them if she were here. My grandchildren were all 6 or 7 when we had these talks, and they were sad and wished she were here with them, but they all seemed okay after finding out. I hope that helps somehow. I guess it is hard for their mom to talk to them about it too, you are not alone. I hope some others have some suggestions for you too. We need to be able to talk about them and hold tight to the good memories before we can even grieve and get better, I believe. In the early years after my daughter was murdered, I used to have trembling and shaking quite often. My therapist said that was one of the symptoms of my PTSD. It can be a symptom of many types of anxiety issues, and I am no therapist - but that is what it was in my case. And with therapy, and venting, and having places to talk to people like here and support groups, it has gotten much better through the years. My heart goes out to you, I hope you can find some things to help you here.
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Dec 24, 2011 15:58:47 GMT -5
For me it's been 1994 when my mom was killed by her husband of 12 yrs. My husband, brother, and dad never mention her, it's like she never existed. I feel I cannot tell my kids about their grandmother they never knew. I start shaking if ever if someone asks about how my mom died. Sometimes when I am working, I just lie,say cancer, so I don't break down at work. I am so so so sick of suffering. I feel there has never been anyone to talk to about this. Dear mom2young, I'm very sorry about your Mom. I'm glad you've found this board and hope you find some comfort here. I felt VERY alone when I went to Parents of Murdered Children meetings years ago and there wasn't 1 person there with a case like mine (what I call "inter-family"). This was in 1 of the biggest cities in the country. Right after I thought "something's wrong here" because this is 1 of the biggest cities in the country and there's no inter-family MVS here. I'd done enough reading on murder cases at that point to know that inter-family cases are a BIG % of all cases in the US. I resolved then to find out why this was going on and to keep looking for other MVS like me. I was blessed to find them on HERE in 2002. You may want to check out the "murder in the family" section on here which is for those like you and I. We have some issues to deal with that other MVS don't, unfortunately. Please don't be hard on yourself about the shaking. This is a normal grief reaction. There's also likely going to be ###*** that don't want to understand. I've run into these ###*** and so has every other MVS I know on the Internet and off. Don't ever let them break you! Yes, it's very upsetting and people should care, but don't ever get on their low and disgusting level. They show that more education is needed. The ideal is that educating ANYONE should never be needed, but we have to work in the situation that's already there in order to get any change for the better. With a lot of my family it's like my murdered loved 1's didn't exist either. I'm sorry you go through this also. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
|
|
|
Post by mom2young on Dec 26, 2011 17:50:33 GMT -5
Do you think 13 and 9 is too young to tell my kids about their grandmother who was murdered before they were born?
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Dec 29, 2011 7:30:57 GMT -5
Do you think 13 and 9 is too young to tell my kids about their grandmother who was murdered before they were born? I've never had a child so am NOT a good person to answer this. I'm hoping others on here who do have kids will answer. If not, it's possible a counselor (psychologist, etc.) and/or spiritual counselor (pastor, priest, etc.) could help. Good luck!
|
|
|
Post by mom2young on Dec 30, 2011 23:07:57 GMT -5
After 17 years, I thought I finally had a good resolution to my problem. I check this website 2x a day , and only 2posts. I have went to professional counceling 5x and they have redirected the subject to marriage and not the murder. I sorta feel this is stupid. such a slow slow response for an answer. what else is new?I guess I will just go on as usual.
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Dec 31, 2011 9:23:01 GMT -5
After 17 years, I thought I finally had a good resolution to my problem. I check this website 2x a day , and only 2posts. I have went to professional counceling 5x and they have redirected the subject to marriage and not the murder. I sorta feel this is stupid. such a slow slow response for an answer. what else is new?I guess I will just go on as usual. Would you like to hear how my daily schedule is? It's busy, believe me. But, I've been here since 2002. I made a commitment. So have Charlene and Janet-Beth's Mom. I'm very thankful that Janet has stuck around for a while because (to be honest) I got burned out a long time ago. But, once I make a commitment I stick with it if I'm burned out or not. I also am grateful to those who have stuck around for a while in the past! As far as I know, this is the ONLY MVS support place that has a board for inter-family MVS (for cases like yours and mine). Things were worse when there weren't any and would be the same if THIS board weren't here. What if NO ONE answered ANYONE on here? Seriously? For years now the standard on here has been to greet ALL newcomers at the LEAST. No, the MVS on here don't always have the answers, but if we don't, we'll give suggestions on where to find info. It's possible you found a counselor that isn't the right fit for you. This doesn't automatically mean there's not 1 who IS a fit for you out there. I'm sorry if you think we haven't done enough on here and also haven't written back fast enough. I don't agree with that at all and have a strong feeling I'm not alone in this. However, I wish you the best. Take care.
|
|
|
Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jan 1, 2012 12:40:20 GMT -5
After 17 years, I thought I finally had a good resolution to my problem. I check this website 2x a day , and only 2posts. I have went to professional counceling 5x and they have redirected the subject to marriage and not the murder. I sorta feel this is stupid. such a slow slow response for an answer. what else is new?I guess I will just go on as usual. and if you do continue to post, there will be one more, and each additional one will be one more. I've been coming here for years, and post whenever I can find the words and have time - some days I am battling the "withdrawal" symptom that I sometimes still have with my PTSD. This board is what WE make it, all of us. I hope and pray that more people who are hurting can find the words, and join us - and that includes you. I don't have all the answers - there is no one person who has all the answers.
|
|
|
Post by mom2young on Apr 15, 2012 17:16:18 GMT -5
my mom was murdered 17 yrs ago by her husband. I was 21, not married and no kids. I feel weird that even last week , i was in walmart parking lot and saw a grandma pushing her granddaughter in the grocery cart, singing and laughing. I felt bad I don't have a mom to do that for my two kids
|
|
|
Post by drewsmom595 on May 6, 2012 13:20:46 GMT -5
Hi mom2young:
I know exactly how you feel...it's been nearly 9 years since my Dad's been gone, and the other day I was at the Chamber of Commerce and saw an older man who had very similar eyes to my father's. It was like being sucker punched in the stomach...i could hardly breath and tears welled in my eyes. I don't think we ever truly get over such a traumatic loss...we just somehow learn how to live with the grief. Some days we're more successful than others in keeping that sense of loss buried beneath the surface. But somehow, when we least expect it, it rises. When that happens, I usually go somewhere alone for a few minutes...and then go on with my day.
|
|