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Post by audrey on Jun 18, 2009 15:41:50 GMT -5
March 8, 2008, my ex-husband died suddenly at age 55. At least 6 months before this, our daughter, an adult, said she felt that his new wife, Lisa, was "doing something to him". He had COPD and had a heart problem. Nothing that would kill him so soon. The night before he died, Rick was freezing, to the point of having 2 blankets and a heating pad on him. This was in Florida. He was never cold. Lisa was a cardiac nurse. By morning he had died. (and at age 45, she now had 2 husbands that had died) They were out of town visiting when this happened. Originally the detective and M.E. wanted an autopsy but Lisa talked them out of it. Lisa told our two grown children that their father committed suicide, that was why she didn't want an autopsy. She didn't want to tarnish his name. She also told them it was a heart problem, and she also told them it was a blood clot that killed him. Lisa made not funeral arrangements, brought no clothes for him. Our daughter did it all, and paid for it all. Through my own research, I found she had at least 5 aliases, and her children had aliases also. On her MySpace page, she said she was "a widow, but not a black widow". Roughly 9 months later she moved in with a man that was a neighbor of her and Rick's. When my daughter contacted the Violent Crimes Unit, they told her she should talk to a therapist. When I called the detective said it was the M.E. that would decide if they had a case. He listed the health problems that Lisa told him Rick had. Most information the M.E. got, he got from Lisa. The M.E. said because of the health problems, there wasn't a case. Rick had health problems, but we feel Lisa helped the situation along. There were so many things about motive, her behavior, etc. that isn't right. What can we do from here? How can we get someone to listen and help us?
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jun 18, 2009 17:26:40 GMT -5
Just in case you did not see my post yesterday, I'll put this here again, since you did not say you had already tried contacting them. I wish I knew of more options to tell you about. Dear Audrey, I am so sorry for your loss, and your children's loss of their father. What a horrific nightmare to go through. I don't think I would trust it that they did not want to look into it further either, especially under those circumstances. I knew a lady once in a support group whose son was murdered with an overdose of drugs. She knew he was not a drug user, knew there simply must be foul play (there were ligature marks on his wrists too), but there was little done in the investigation , and in another state, and the ME had ruled it death by accidental overdose to her horror and disbelief. No one would listen to her. She contacted POMC and they did a "second opinion", and the case was re-opened as a murder investigation. I don't know what happened after that, because she stopped coming to that group. But I do know that POMC helped to get the investigation going in the right direction. Click on this link www.pomc.com/sos.cfm and it will take you to the National Organization of Parents of Murder Children website Second Opinion information page (it does not have to be your child who was murdered for them to help, it can be any loved one) The page will show what kinds of things they will do, examples of cases they have helped with, and a link with which you can contact them to request help. Oh how I hope this helps, Janet
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jun 19, 2009 10:05:03 GMT -5
Dear Audrey, I also answered you on the main board:
Dear Audrey, I'm very sorry about your ex-husband. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. Janet's advice about checking with Parents of Murdered Children is great. Have you looked into hiring a private investigator? 1 might be able to help by looking into his wife's background. I know of at least 1 murder case that was solved by doing this and it was 1 I remember well from years ago as it happened in the city I was living in at that time. I wish you the best with all this. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by cpruitt78 on Jun 19, 2009 11:37:19 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are dealing with on top of your loss... In addition to hiring a private investigator I would find out if your state has a investigation unit that investigates things of this nature that is a level up from the local P.D.- Here in Alabama ours is called A.B.I. Alabama Bureau of Investigations. Agencies like this will investigate police officers, detectives, and Medical Examiners. In hiring a Private Investigator- my advice is to do your research- don't just hire the first "Joe" you find... A good one to look at will usually be retired from some kind of police work- they have the best advantage when using investigative tools and usually have great connections. Another good option for gaining useful information of who to contact to help you in your quest is for you to call your Attorney General's office- although you are not at a stage of having enough evidence to file criminal charges- I would get their take on your personal situation and find out what resources they have or know of that they can direct you to. You may want to even contact your local violent crime victims services- you can get their number from your laocal District Attorney's office. Thay may even have a wealth of resources that may aid you. I hope this information helps... I will keep you and your children in my prayers ... I can't imagine how difficult this must be- I know all too weel that fignting for justice- well- it just sux!
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Post by audrey on Jun 25, 2009 15:33:25 GMT -5
Thank you all so much. Your validation and advice is really appreciated. Do these things seem suspicious to you as well?
When my ex-husband died, he owed me $13,500 in unpaid alimony. I didn't want to push the issue but he agreed to put me as a beneficiary of his life insurance policy to cover the money he owed me. Anything above what was owed would be divided between our two children. He agreed to do that on a Tuesday and on Saturday he died. I don't have money for an investigator. I live paycheck to paycheck. I put money in towards his burial. My sister and our daughter paid for the burial. My daughter used her income tax refund for a headstone. Michelle, our daughter, is emmotionally at all she can handle. She took care of having him transported from West Palm Beach to Tampa since he died out of town, and she arranged the funeral, headstone, and feels she cannot handle anything else. Financially the three of us can't afford it. But my giving up really isn't an option. Again, Thank you all so much, Audrey
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Post by sharron0925 on Jul 22, 2009 9:42:05 GMT -5
Audrey, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the lack of help you seem to be having. The loss of a loved one is something you never get over, especially under suspected terms. I can tell you, never give up fighting for justice, my family endured the loss of my brother 36 years ago to murder. We know who did it, but they were never arrested. Due to a miracle, the case was reopened in August of last year and now three people are awaiting trials. I pray that you find justice for your ex-husband. Sharron
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 22, 2009 10:06:37 GMT -5
Audrey, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the lack of help you seem to be having. The loss of a loved one is something you never get over, especially under suspected terms. I can tell you, never give up fighting for justice, my family endured the loss of my brother 36 years ago to murder. We know who did it, but they were never arrested. Due to a miracle, the case was reopened in August of last year and now three people are awaiting trials. I pray that you find justice for your ex-husband. Sharron Dear Sharron, I'm very sorry about your Brother. I'm VERY glad that your case was reopened and hope that full justice will be done. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jul 22, 2009 16:35:43 GMT -5
Audrey, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the lack of help you seem to be having. The loss of a loved one is something you never get over, especially under suspected terms. I can tell you, never give up fighting for justice, my family endured the loss of my brother 36 years ago to murder. We know who did it, but they were never arrested. Due to a miracle, the case was reopened in August of last year and now three people are awaiting trials. I pray that you find justice for your ex-husband. Sharron Sharron, I am so sorry for your loss of your brother, and all these years you should have had with him. I hope there is finally justice for him and for your family.
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Post by audrey on Aug 20, 2009 15:08:42 GMT -5
I have not been able to go any further. Being an ex-wife, I cannot access medical records and my children, 22 and 25 are emmotionally too overwhelmed to do it themselves. I am not able to financially secure an investigator for a back ground check on my children's step mother. She has since moved in with a man that had been a neighbor of theirs when my ex husband was living.
Yesterday my daughter received an email from her father's email address. Nothing was written, it just had his name and email address, date and time. His wife would be the only one with knowledge of his password, etc. I don't understand why she would do that.
I feel beaten and and I am anguising about giving up all together. Not because my heart isn't there, but because of money.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Aug 21, 2009 0:21:08 GMT -5
I have not been able to go any further. Being an ex-wife, I cannot access medical records and my children, 22 and 25 are emmotionally too overwhelmed to do it themselves. I am not able to financially secure an investigator for a back ground check on my children's step mother. She has since moved in with a man that had been a neighbor of theirs when my ex husband was living. Yesterday my daughter received an email from her father's email address. Nothing was written, it just had his name and email address, date and time. His wife would be the only one with knowledge of his password, etc. I don't understand why she would do that. I feel beaten and and I am anguising about giving up all together. Not because my heart isn't there, but because of money. Dear audrey, have you thought of filing a wrongful death lawsuit? My family did this in the early 1990's and our lawyers investigated the case with NO cost to us. IF we'd won our case, our lawyers would have taken 1/3 of the judgement, etc. as their pay. We were also able to talk to 3 lawyers for NO charge about would they take out case, etc. I'm HOPING things are still this way with at least some lawyers. It was a huge help for us as we didn't have the money to pay up front, etc. You may want to check with a lawyer referral service to see who would do this. My family didn't have hard proof that the perpetrator in our case was caused to commit murder by her last medical doctor, but we had enough proof to give us STRONG suspicions about what happened. The short version of what happened to us: the perpetrator in our case (my Mother) had gone to this "doctor" the day before the murders and he gave her a prescription for Prozac with NO physical exam and NO bloodwork. She was nearly hysterical with fear over this prescription (she told this to my Dad and I. My Dad ended up being 1 of her victims). 1 of my family members found the prescription and we were all wondering: did his so-called "care" cause the murders? Ie., was it at LEAST 1 of the contributing factors? I know there's county legal societies that can provide names of lawyers to talk to. As far as I know, there's no charge for their services. I'm hoping this option might work for you. I'm sorry you've not been getting anywhere so far.
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Post by audrey on Sept 8, 2009 15:10:34 GMT -5
I thought the wrongful death idea was great. Both of my children, although grown, cannot deal with one more thing right now. I just want their approval so I can go forward and I just can't get it. My son is having a really hard time holding it together. Please know I really am appreciative of the advice and insight. Audrey
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Post by tmidkiff on Sept 15, 2009 11:12:36 GMT -5
March 8, 2008, my ex-husband died suddenly at age 55. At least 6 months before this, our daughter, an adult, said she felt that his new wife, Lisa, was "doing something to him". He had COPD and had a heart problem. Nothing that would kill him so soon. The night before he died, Rick was freezing, to the point of having 2 blankets and a heating pad on him. This was in Florida. He was never cold. Lisa was a cardiac nurse. By morning he had died. (and at age 45, she now had 2 husbands that had died) They were out of town visiting when this happened. Originally the detective and M.E. wanted an autopsy but Lisa talked them out of it. Lisa told our two grown children that their father committed suicide, that was why she didn't want an autopsy. She didn't want to tarnish his name. She also told them it was a heart problem, and she also told them it was a blood clot that killed him. Lisa made not funeral arrangements, brought no clothes for him. Our daughter did it all, and paid for it all. Through my own research, I found she had at least 5 aliases, and her children had aliases also. On her MySpace page, she said she was "a widow, but not a black widow". Roughly 9 months later she moved in with a man that was a neighbor of her and Rick's. When my daughter contacted the Violent Crimes Unit, they told her she should talk to a therapist. When I called the detective said it was the M.E. that would decide if they had a case. He listed the health problems that Lisa told him Rick had. Most information the M.E. got, he got from Lisa. The M.E. said because of the health problems, there wasn't a case. Rick had health problems, but we feel Lisa helped the situation along. There were so many things about motive, her behavior, etc. that isn't right. What can we do from here? How can we get someone to listen and help us? I'm sorry about your loss, I seen one woman on the news losing her son to what she thought was a murder, she kept going to the D.A. until she found someone that would help her. Have you tried a Private Investigator? Good Luck I hope you find the truth.
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