Post by reelee71 on Jul 12, 2009 17:26:52 GMT -5
Everyone has something that they are afraid of.... Something that puts a knot in your stomach and makes your heart pound.... That scares you so bad it sends you back to your childhood days.... Well, I say that everyone does, but maybe not... Maybe it's just me....
One of the things I'm scared of is a road. I wasn't always scared of it, but there came a day that I was. I drove down that road today for the first time in 8 months... And I thought I was gonna die... That road reminds me of what I don't have and everything I've lost.... I use to know it as the road that would lead me home. Now I just know it as the road of broken dreams and a life that wasn't meant to be.... People don't understand any of this... How Hwy 261 South can be scary. They don't understand why I'm not over all this... They don't understand me...
I didn't want this life I have now!!!! I didn't ask for it... I didn't ask to be all alone to have everything stripped from me... I didn't ask for it... I'm so broken that I don't even know what to do about it... Imagine having everything you ever knew and all the people you loved taken from you and the only home you ever knew taken from you all in the middle of the night... And people saying aren't you over it? Why aren't you over it??? MY GOD MY GOD!!! How can you ever get over seeing your husband kill your mama and both your grandparents??? It's been two years and five months today... I can't run hard enough to get me away from it....
I don't even know me anymore... I'm so full of hurt and pain and sorrow with know one to hug me and say it will one day be okay.... Because see I don't know if it ever will.... How can it be? I lost too much!!! Know one is supposed to lose that much all at once... You don't just get over murder... I just want to go home, I just want to go home... I didn't do anything to ever deserve this much hurt.... I just want to go home....
One of the things I'm scared of is a road. I wasn't always scared of it, but there came a day that I was. I drove down that road today for the first time in 8 months... And I thought I was gonna die... That road reminds me of what I don't have and everything I've lost.... I use to know it as the road that would lead me home. Now I just know it as the road of broken dreams and a life that wasn't meant to be.... People don't understand any of this... How Hwy 261 South can be scary. They don't understand why I'm not over all this... They don't understand me...
I didn't want this life I have now!!!! I didn't ask for it... I didn't ask to be all alone to have everything stripped from me... I didn't ask for it... I'm so broken that I don't even know what to do about it... Imagine having everything you ever knew and all the people you loved taken from you and the only home you ever knew taken from you all in the middle of the night... And people saying aren't you over it? Why aren't you over it??? MY GOD MY GOD!!! How can you ever get over seeing your husband kill your mama and both your grandparents??? It's been two years and five months today... I can't run hard enough to get me away from it....
I don't even know me anymore... I'm so full of hurt and pain and sorrow with know one to hug me and say it will one day be okay.... Because see I don't know if it ever will.... How can it be? I lost too much!!! Know one is supposed to lose that much all at once... You don't just get over murder... I just want to go home, I just want to go home... I didn't do anything to ever deserve this much hurt.... I just want to go home....