Lora
Newbie
Posts: 4
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Lost
Jan 6, 2011 23:41:21 GMT -5
Post by Lora on Jan 6, 2011 23:41:21 GMT -5
:'(Im so hurt inside I just don't know what to do I feel all alone inside I have lost 2 siblings my sister 8 years ago unexpected complications from elective surgery and just this past month my brother was stabbed 15 times in the chest and then had his throat slit by my cousin
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Lost
Jan 7, 2011 5:39:26 GMT -5
Post by pumpkin12903 on Jan 7, 2011 5:39:26 GMT -5
:'(Im so hurt inside I just don't know what to do I feel all alone inside I have lost 2 siblings my sister 8 years ago unexpected complications from elective surgery and just this past month my brother was stabbed 15 times in the chest and then had his throat slit by my cousin Dear lora, I'm very sorry about your brother. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. The things that helped me recover as best as possible after the murders in my family were: counseling. This literally saved my life. Also, writing about the tragedy, talking to understand friends and family, going to Parents of Murdered Children meetings, getting spiritual counseling for the spiritual issues of my familys' case that weren't covered in traditional counseling and coming to message boards like this 1. There's a link to Parents of Murdered Children on here and hopefully there's a meeting by you. This board will also help you because we inter-family MVS have issues to deal with that other MVS don't. Of course all MVS have issues in common. Inter-family MVS, though, have some that are unique to the type of case. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Lora
Newbie
Posts: 4
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Lost
Jan 8, 2011 21:32:37 GMT -5
Post by Lora on Jan 8, 2011 21:32:37 GMT -5
Thank you for your suggestions however counseling cost money therefore I'm just trying to cope with this grief on my own I've been to my family dr. So when it really gets to much to bear I have something to take the edge off however I'm not very fond of that solution because that's just temporary. Although there are times I find it truly necessary, anyway just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to acknowledge my short entry about my grief it means alot to me. At this moment I'm having a rough time. Lora
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Lost
Jan 8, 2011 23:40:38 GMT -5
Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jan 8, 2011 23:40:38 GMT -5
Dear Lora, I'm so sorry your brother was taken from you, and after the loss of your sister - grief laid upon grief is so very hard Pumpkin has already told you about many of the things that also helped me to get through these years. I wrote in a journal almost every day for a long time, that helped me to sort out things as time went by - helped me to have a safe place to vent even when I had no one to talk to. Counseling was a big help to me too, but I understand how there can be money issues too. It was several months before I began to go. My daughter's best friend got very depressed, and was able to get a few free counseling sessions at our county Mental Health Mental Resources center. Sometimes there are pay-scale clinics based on your income with sliding scale fees too. There may be some options to be found when you have a bit more energy later on. A support group does help; it helped me a lot to talk to others who could at least understand. POMC was a good support group for me too; and it's not just for parents - it's for anyone who has lost a loved one to murder. A list of POMC chapters can be found here www.pomc.com/chapters.cfm They are pretty spread out; it was a long way for me to go to one. For the first months, my oldest daughter and I went to a group called "Bereaved Parents, Siblings and Grandparents" that met in a church in our town. If there is a Victims Assistance department in your county, they may have a list of grief support groups that are in your area. This is so soon, such a short time since this trauma was thrust upon you. You don't have to decide everything at once. I hope you do remember first and foremost to take care of you. If you cannot sleep, at least rest. If you have lost your appetite, try to remember to eat something every day; set a time somehow. We have to keep our physical strength as best we can, so we will be ready for whatever does come next. You are the one who will find what will best to help you to learn to walk around in this. We will be here to help with suggestions when we can, or just listen. I too hope you do find some comfort and release here. Prayers are going out for you from here, Lora. Janet
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Lost
Jan 9, 2011 1:43:54 GMT -5
Post by pumpkin12903 on Jan 9, 2011 1:43:54 GMT -5
Thank you for your suggestions however counseling cost money therefore I'm just trying to cope with this grief on my own I've been to my family dr. So when it really gets to much to bear I have something to take the edge off however I'm not very fond of that solution because that's just temporary. Although there are times I find it truly necessary, anyway just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to acknowledge my short entry about my grief it means alot to me. At this moment I'm having a rough time. Lora Dear Lora, there's counselors who WILL work with your financially. I was very blessed in that the 2 I had worked with me greatly when I wasn't working and didn't have health insurance. ;D Also, there's counseling centers that will take whatever amount of payment you can make. You may want to see if there's a Victims Assistance office in your city. They can also help with counseling costs. Thanks to Janet for bringing up this information about counseling also! ;D A warning to you about medication: IF you've been prescribed a benzodiazepine, please know what you're in for. I was on 1 for about 8-9 years for panic disorder. They're addictive and you get addicted through NO fault of your own even if you're NOT abusing them, i.e., you're only taking the amount prescribed. Most people go through withdrawl when going off them. I went off mine last January and am now having less than 5 symptoms. ;D However, for many months it's been HELL. I'm speaking out about these drugs EVERY chance I get because too many doctors aren't telling people about withdrawl, etc., when they prescribe them. I had this happen to me also. Here's a list of the benzodiazepines: www.a1b2c3.com/drugs/benz01.htmAnyway, just wanted to give you this info IN CASE this is what you've been prescribed. We're very glad to give you any info that'll help you recover from your tragedy! It's completely understandable that you're having a rough time. You're in the earliest stages after your tragedy and that's to be expected. HOWEVER, you CAN recover greatly and we're glad to be here to help you along that journey. Take care.
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Lora
Newbie
Posts: 4
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Lost
Jan 9, 2011 21:05:30 GMT -5
Post by Lora on Jan 9, 2011 21:05:30 GMT -5
Thanks to you both for the information and concern it feels good to vent with people who truly understand...
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