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Post by nikkissis on Nov 18, 2013 2:57:56 GMT -5
I am so sick of people telling me to "get over it", to,"find peace," "this is a distraction in your life". I know it is hard to see someone you love hurting, but come on! Seriously!! The need to find Nikk is a huge priority to me. It seems to be all I think of at times. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I see her in my daughters face. She was taken from me... From us. Not going to just "get over" my only sister being murdered. I had buds from church tell me what a distraction this is for my relationship with God... I am not sure how anyone would know my relationship besides me and God.? I love God. He knows how I struggle with this. He was there. He always had been. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why my sis had to die the way she did. In the experience I have had, bad things always turn to the good. It is my prayer everyday that my step-dad and mother confess what they did. It is my firm prayer that her remains are discovered. I am not sure that will happen but I do know this... In the end, God wins. I feel releif in knowing He isn't mad at me. I don't think God would ever tell me to get over it. Ok end rant. Sorry just been so irritated with people! Kinda why I have become a little bit of a shut in.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Nov 21, 2013 12:54:55 GMT -5
I am so sick of people telling me to "get over it", to,"find peace," "this is a distraction in your life". I know it is hard to see someone you love hurting, but come on! Seriously!! The need to find Nikk is a huge priority to me. It seems to be all I think of at times. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I see her in my daughters face. She was taken from me... From us. Not going to just "get over" my only sister being murdered. I had buds from church tell me what a distraction this is for my relationship with God... I am not sure how anyone would know my relationship besides me and God.? I love God. He knows how I struggle with this. He was there. He always had been. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why my sis had to die the way she did. In the experience I have had, bad things always turn to the good. It is my prayer everyday that my step-dad and mother confess what they did. It is my firm prayer that her remains are discovered. I am not sure that will happen but I do know this... In the end, God wins. I feel releif in knowing He isn't mad at me. I don't think God would ever tell me to get over it. Ok end rant. Sorry just been so irritated with people! Kinda why I have become a little bit of a shut in. Dear nikkissis, you've unfortunately ran into what many MVS hear from those who have never been through it and haven't bothered to research it. These are the types that see our tragedies as ghoulish entertainment and don't care about the people involved (i.e., just see them as something to talk about, etc.). "Get over it" and "move on" are disgusting lies put out by those who haven't bothered to study how recovery works. Recovery takes TIME and a commitment to getting well. We live in a spoiled brat "give it to me NOW" society and this is shown in these heartless remarks. Please don't take their heartless arrogant remarks to heart. Take to heart remarks from those who have been through it and/or have researched recovery. These are the ones that care to make the effort to see MVS as PEOPLE and not just some kind of ghoulish entertainment. Please don't let them get to you. I know it's hard especially in the first years of being an MVS. You'll learn quickly who truly cares and who's just wanting to know about your case for ghoulish reasons. As far as God goes He understands your upset. I learned this as an MVS. It'll help you cope to unburden all this upset you have during prayer. When I started to do that in recovery things got better and I felt less of a burden. I hope this info helps you. Take care.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Nov 24, 2013 17:22:28 GMT -5
Part of who you are is your sister's sibling. Part of who I am is my daughter's mother. We don't "get over" who we are. Almost all sisters think of each other just about every day, why should we be any different? The racing thoughts this absence leaves us with - that was something that took me quite some time to ease, and can still happen sometimes, but not so often through the years. My belief is that God cries with us, after this horrible sin has been committed against our loved ones. And that God sends us what comforts S/He can in friends who will listen without judging, reminders of our good times together, and in strength if we ask for it when we did not feel we could go on, and on and on. Blessings are wished for you Nikkissis Janet
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Post by tamècasmom on Nov 25, 2013 12:44:00 GMT -5
Nikkissis, I am sad that you had to find MVS site because someone took your sister's life I am happy you are here because I believe no one will feel you are ranting, you are expressing out loud. Prayerfully it will help you get to a better place. Love ones, strangers, friends, and acquaintances still try to tell me how I should be feeling. I believe, you will hear some of the same chatter in your new life, for the rest of your life. When a person tries to tell me anything about how I should feel, I have learned to turn them off and all I hear is, blah, blah, blah or yada, yada, yada. I pray one day you get to the point you do not hear people, who have no idea what feels like, living life as a MVS. You never get over it! Each murder, like the individual life that was taken, is unique. It has been eight years for me. I am in a better place, in my head-not my heart. I pray each day, you inch your way to a place where the pain is like a knife, instead of a dagger in your unfortunate "new" life.
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Post by nikkissis on Dec 12, 2013 23:34:23 GMT -5
I am so sick of people telling me to "get over it", to,"find peace," "this is a distraction in your life". I know it is hard to see someone you love hurting, but come on! Seriously!! The need to find Nikk is a huge priority to me. It seems to be all I think of at times. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I see her in my daughters face. She was taken from me... From us. Not going to just "get over" my only sister being murdered. I had buds from church tell me what a distraction this is for my relationship with God... I am not sure how anyone would know my relationship besides me and God.? I love God. He knows how I struggle with this. He was there. He always had been. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why my sis had to die the way she did. In the experience I have had, bad things always turn to the good. It is my prayer everyday that my step-dad and mother confess what they did. It is my firm prayer that her remains are discovered. I am not sure that will happen but I do know this... In the end, God wins. I feel releif in knowing He isn't mad at me. I don't think God would ever tell me to get over it. Ok end rant. Sorry just been so irritated with people! Kinda why I have become a little bit of a shut in. Dear nikkissis, you've unfortunately ran into what many MVS hear from those who have never been through it and haven't bothered to research it. These are the types that see our tragedies as ghoulish entertainment and don't care about the people involved (i.e., just see them as something to talk about, etc.). "Get over it" and "move on" are disgusting lies put out by those who haven't bothered to study how recovery works. Recovery takes TIME and a commitment to getting well. We live in a spoiled brat "give it to me NOW" society and this is shown in these heartless remarks. Please don't take their heartless arrogant remarks to heart. Take to heart remarks from those who have been through it and/or have researched recovery. These are the ones that care to make the effort to see MVS as PEOPLE and not just some kind of ghoulish entertainment. Please don't let them get to you. I know it's hard especially in the first years of being an MVS. You'll learn quickly who truly cares and who's just wanting to know about your case for ghoulish reasons. As far as God goes He understands your upset. I learned this as an MVS. It'll help you cope to unburden all this upset you have during prayer. When I started to do that in recovery things got better and I felt less of a burden. I hope this info helps you. Take care.
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Post by nikkissis on Dec 12, 2013 23:35:43 GMT -5
Nikkissis, I am sad that you had to find MVS site because someone took your sister's life I am happy you are here because I believe no one will feel you are ranting, you are expressing out loud. Prayerfully it will help you get to a better place. Love ones, strangers, friends, and acquaintances still try to tell me how I should be feeling. I believe, you will hear some of the same chatter in your new life, for the rest of your life. When a person tries to tell me anything about how I should feel, I have learned to turn them off and all I hear is, blah, blah, blah or yada, yada, yada. I pray one day you get to the point you do not hear people, who have no idea what feels like, living life as a MVS. You never get over it! Each murder, like the individual life that was taken, is unique. It has been eight years for me. I am in a better place, in my head-not my heart. I pray each day, you inch your way to a place where the pain is like a knife, instead of a dagger in your unfortunate "new" life.
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Post by nikkissis on Dec 12, 2013 23:45:25 GMT -5
Thank you for listening to my venting. I am sorry that you all have also found this group. I wish you all didn't have to. I am so sorry for your losses. I know that there really are no words that make any of this better, but I want you all to know how much it means to me to be able to reach out. It is wonderful to have a talk and not feel like the crazy person with the screwed up family. What I have learned from you all is that there is strength here. We are not the crazy bad ones. And most importantly I learned I am not alone <3 It has been almost 22 years since my step dad snuffed out my beautiful sister's life. It hasn't gotten easier. In fact once the truth came out this year, I feel as though I am right back there again. The terror, the fear... I started counceling today, we will see how it goes. It would be nice to be able to go in public and not have an anxiety attack or just freak out because I am scared. I am trying to not be scared but it seems impossible right now. Janet, thank you for taking the time to read my words and care about me. I care deeply for all of you and think of you often. Pumpkin, I am so glad there are people like you who can help me out when things are just so bad. To all who responded, thank you.
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