Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 17, 2017 21:26:36 GMT -5
Dear affliction, I'm very sorry about your dad. Welcome to the board and I hope you find some comfort here. Speaking of my experience only: I'm not fully healed, but am way better than I was. I know my life would be way worse now if I hadn't sought mental help. Please don't be hard on yourself for not being healed completely. Working on recovery takes a lot of effort. In my view, though, it's all worth it. I may not ever be completely healed, but it's a huge change for the better compared to my life at the time of the murders in my family. I'd rather be dead than be the person I was then. Even with how my post-traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder have worsened in the past few years through no fault of my own. Again, welcome to the board.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” —Herbert Spencer
I've read alittle about your dad - see my post on quadruple homicide....Its hard being a survivor I have PTSD also - i had to clean out the crime scene of personal items. The blood, smell, splatter on the walls, the place where stacked them - there was so much blood. the nightmares, visions, overthinking all have almost gone away. what is the worse for me was/is to see my loved ones that are living suffer.
I have gone thru a handful of therapists. - you need to find one that deals with trauma and PTSD. If you found one and have not been able to move forward - find another. Medication has been able to help me. I fought it and lost that battle. The trial is in a month so ill try again after the holidays.
I think of them everyday - when my thoughts turn dark - i have to make myself leave that place. Replace it with living, life in the here and now. Get up - shake it off, say a prayer, put music on, find something to make you smile. I play with my brother and SIL grandchildren and promise they will not feel the complete loss. For me, this is a positive thing I can do in an impossible reality. Your father would not want you to stop living. Find something to do - volunteer, hobbies, anything positive. It gets easier, it takes effort, practice and self control, but do it. I'm sure your father loved you - do it for him. It sounds trite - but if you believe in God - he is not suffering with his daily struggles and you will see him again.
This is your journey, but journeys move forward. You have to consciously try. We will never heal. That's not an attainable goal. Learning to LIVE with this reality is.
Our hearts are broken - but has they fill in, with love, courage and determination this will make us stronger.
supergirl20: Hi all been pretty down latley, I guess the shock has worn off and greif set it
Feb 15, 2013 22:06:27 GMT -5
Janet-Beth's Mom: You are probably right Supergirl20, the shock does wear off gradually over time, & it can even come back at times when trauma issues are triggered. :-( I've been through many "stages" of grief with this homicide bereavement, some over & over ((HUGS))
Feb 18, 2013 15:01:58 GMT -5
Charlene: Janet, I have not figured out how to include the links to the main site but you can still find all of that content at www.murdervictims.com.
Feb 28, 2013 10:20:31 GMT -5
Janet-Beth's Mom: Thank you so much Char, I did not realize that link still worked. Perfect
Feb 28, 2013 14:28:36 GMT -5
euphie210: Does anyone come on here anymore?
Jul 30, 2013 13:53:54 GMT -5
Janet-Beth's Mom: Pumpkin and I come here every day. Some others do drop by on some days. Please feel free to start a thread if you wish
Aug 3, 2013 8:55:22 GMT -5
Click here to support WANT TO GET MOMS MURDERER HIS PUNISHMENT by Fred Parlante www.gofundme.com I HAVE TRIED TO RAISE MONEY TO GO TO THE COURT HEARING'S IN FLORIDA FOR THE SCUMBAG THAT MURDERED OUR MOTHER , IT TOOK 16 YEARS TO CATCH...
Jun 26, 2014 11:20:17 GMT -5
pumpkin12903: Am very happy to see that I can post on the "Shoutbox" now! Wasn't able to until now. Have a good weekend everyone!
Jan 7, 2017 5:16:10 GMT -5
lgdatsme: I am here for the first time since my account was approved. My mother was the victim of a horrendous crime in April of 1975. She was raped and murdered by a man who she let in the house feeling completely safe. He killed her and hid her body.
Jan 9, 2017 12:08:26 GMT -5
lgdatsme: It took approximately 60 days to find her body. It was a capital crime in Texas. He confessed and was given 40 years. He got out and murdered another woman. He should have been executed. I have no feelings for him what so ever.
Jan 9, 2017 12:10:24 GMT -5
lgdatsme: I have blamed myself for not telling my family that he was not a good person and that I would no longer call him friend. A preacher told me that it had nothing to do with my negligence. (which is hard to swallow) It's still a mark on my soul.
Jan 9, 2017 12:19:03 GMT -5
lgdatsme: I am hoping this forum will help me find some solace. Talking to others who have lived through this horror.
Jan 9, 2017 12:20:07 GMT -5
pumpkin12903: Dear lgdatsme, I'm very sorry about your mother. I'm NOT surprised the perpetrator killed someone else. This happens way too much in life. This is a big reason in my view why death penalty or life without parole sentences are needed.
Jan 11, 2017 13:29:52 GMT -5
pumpkin12903: I can understand your struggle (to a degree) about not telling your family. Counseling helped me resolve that to a big degree. Welcome to the board and hope you find some peace here. Take care.
Jan 11, 2017 13:31:23 GMT -5
MaryD: It's been almost 31 years since our friend's murder. Last year was really rough for me as the "sadiversary" approached, but this year not as much. The main killer is in prison for the rest of his life if all goes well, and his accomplice is back in prison
Apr 25, 2018 18:10:30 GMT -5
pumpkin12903: Dear MaryD, am hoping with you that the perpetrator in your case will NEVER be free again and his accomplice will stay in prison also. In case I haven't yet given my condolences I'll do that now in regards to your friend. Take care.
Apr 26, 2018 19:30:11 GMT -5