Post by Bosco29 on Jan 19, 2005 17:42:31 GMT -5
.........continuing on...........
My 18 year old cousin that lived with us is not doing well. He stopped going to group sessions, he still swears he's clean but he has nothing to show for the social security checks he gets every month and gets crazy furious, not just ticked, scary!, when he needs money and doesn't have any. He's constantly asking us all for money and gets pissed when we refuse to give him cash. (I've finally convinced my mom to stop giving him cash!) So, now if he asks for money, we ask him for what? If he tells us groceries or whatever, we tell him we can take him shopping. He gets just livid. Now he doesn't ask us for cash anymore and he wants nothing to do with my mom who has given him som uch money the past couple months, but now that she's not, he doesn't want anything to do with her. He is living for free at a friend's house and has nothing to pay for besides dog food (he has "Winston"). Oh and he found someone who would sell him a mustang for $1,500 (it needs some work) and so he asked some family for money. They agreed but didn't tell him that they were writing the checks out to the seller of the car and not to Tyler (my cousin). I wasn't there and I didn't hear him but I guess he flipped his lid and said that he NEEDED to give him cash. (When that's not true because both parties that wrote the checks, called the seller in advance and asked if a check was ok...) My cousin has broken into my house more than once except he has used the doggy door...Still breaking in but of course leaving no evidence of it. The police are aware and tool our block quite a bit. We have great neighbors who watch out for us and our house. Luckily I have a frined that I grew up just a few houses away and she keeps an even closer eye on us and our house. I'm scared of my cousin because of the drugs he's on. There has been so many meth-related murders in our area (ok like 3 but that's A LOT for North Dakota....) and I'm honestly afraid that he might kill us or since he's so mad at us, do something that he knows would hurt us. And what would hurt us is if he damaged our home or if he hurt/killed our dogs. Our dogs are our kids. If he ever hurt them, I could not guarantee his safety and he probably wouldn't make it very far without losing a foot or two to our shotgun. My fiance would shoot to impair, never kill, and I would not hesitate to do the same. He's so angry with us for not letting him live here and knowing that he can get in through our doggy door is terrifying. Our dogs wouldn't defend themselves against him because they love him. They would be happy to see him come through the doggy door. I don't feel safe in my own home and even worse, I fear for the safety of my fiance even thogh I know he can take care of himself and I fear for the safety of our animals. It's hard to concentrate because I worry about them especially around the time when his social security checks come in because he's especially edgy and money hungry and if he can't find his check, he flips out. Today his check came so I left it in our mailbox and I'm hoping he'll just look there, take it, and leave. With the drugs, his temper, and the fact that his parents just died, I'm terrified of this kid. I'm scared for my parents and my sisters that still live at home. He doesn't know where my brother and his family live (their house is VERY close to mine but Tyler doens't know where) so I'm not too worried about them.
I can trust my other cousin (his brother) and thank god for that. If it wasn't for Hayden (age 20), I would completely abandon and walk away from Tyler and be happy to never see him again (until he's clean and SANE!). But I love Hayden and I could never do that to him. I worry about Hayden's safety at times too concerning Tyler.
Well, I think that's about all I want to type for now. There is so much more on my mind, but this really helps to unload some of it. I'm sorry if some of this is a little graphic and if I sound like I'm whining. I'm sorry and I'm truly sorry for everyone that has found this group. We are blessed to have found it but cursed to have HAD to find it.
Thank you for listening, bless you and your loved ones, I think about everyone out there who has to deal with situations like this every day and my heart goes out to you.
Heather in North Dakota
My 18 year old cousin that lived with us is not doing well. He stopped going to group sessions, he still swears he's clean but he has nothing to show for the social security checks he gets every month and gets crazy furious, not just ticked, scary!, when he needs money and doesn't have any. He's constantly asking us all for money and gets pissed when we refuse to give him cash. (I've finally convinced my mom to stop giving him cash!) So, now if he asks for money, we ask him for what? If he tells us groceries or whatever, we tell him we can take him shopping. He gets just livid. Now he doesn't ask us for cash anymore and he wants nothing to do with my mom who has given him som uch money the past couple months, but now that she's not, he doesn't want anything to do with her. He is living for free at a friend's house and has nothing to pay for besides dog food (he has "Winston"). Oh and he found someone who would sell him a mustang for $1,500 (it needs some work) and so he asked some family for money. They agreed but didn't tell him that they were writing the checks out to the seller of the car and not to Tyler (my cousin). I wasn't there and I didn't hear him but I guess he flipped his lid and said that he NEEDED to give him cash. (When that's not true because both parties that wrote the checks, called the seller in advance and asked if a check was ok...) My cousin has broken into my house more than once except he has used the doggy door...Still breaking in but of course leaving no evidence of it. The police are aware and tool our block quite a bit. We have great neighbors who watch out for us and our house. Luckily I have a frined that I grew up just a few houses away and she keeps an even closer eye on us and our house. I'm scared of my cousin because of the drugs he's on. There has been so many meth-related murders in our area (ok like 3 but that's A LOT for North Dakota....) and I'm honestly afraid that he might kill us or since he's so mad at us, do something that he knows would hurt us. And what would hurt us is if he damaged our home or if he hurt/killed our dogs. Our dogs are our kids. If he ever hurt them, I could not guarantee his safety and he probably wouldn't make it very far without losing a foot or two to our shotgun. My fiance would shoot to impair, never kill, and I would not hesitate to do the same. He's so angry with us for not letting him live here and knowing that he can get in through our doggy door is terrifying. Our dogs wouldn't defend themselves against him because they love him. They would be happy to see him come through the doggy door. I don't feel safe in my own home and even worse, I fear for the safety of my fiance even thogh I know he can take care of himself and I fear for the safety of our animals. It's hard to concentrate because I worry about them especially around the time when his social security checks come in because he's especially edgy and money hungry and if he can't find his check, he flips out. Today his check came so I left it in our mailbox and I'm hoping he'll just look there, take it, and leave. With the drugs, his temper, and the fact that his parents just died, I'm terrified of this kid. I'm scared for my parents and my sisters that still live at home. He doesn't know where my brother and his family live (their house is VERY close to mine but Tyler doens't know where) so I'm not too worried about them.
I can trust my other cousin (his brother) and thank god for that. If it wasn't for Hayden (age 20), I would completely abandon and walk away from Tyler and be happy to never see him again (until he's clean and SANE!). But I love Hayden and I could never do that to him. I worry about Hayden's safety at times too concerning Tyler.
Well, I think that's about all I want to type for now. There is so much more on my mind, but this really helps to unload some of it. I'm sorry if some of this is a little graphic and if I sound like I'm whining. I'm sorry and I'm truly sorry for everyone that has found this group. We are blessed to have found it but cursed to have HAD to find it.
Thank you for listening, bless you and your loved ones, I think about everyone out there who has to deal with situations like this every day and my heart goes out to you.
Heather in North Dakota