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Post by Misty419 on Apr 3, 2005 1:54:27 GMT -5
December 18, 2002 My son Weyman Arizona Robbins was Murdered by my brother whom had lived with me and my children for 7 years, The sheriff's ruled his death a suicide and closed the case, I then hired private investigators and 3 months later my brother was arrested and confessed to the crime, The trial is due to start 8-2005. The process just adds to the pain and heartace already indured. I have since filed a civil suit against pinal county sheriff's department and pima medical examiners office, I could really use some help finding a lawyer. My son Weyman was everything to me and my family, since his death my family ( mother ) ect. has turned against me which I dont understand that for she had'nt seen my brother in 17 years and she lived in another state. she gave him up for adoption as a baby and the last time she seen him he was 14 when he visited her for 2 weeks. the one thing that really bothers me is she seems to not have any concerns about what happened to her own grandchild. its really sad if you ask me, My son was strangled to death in front of my girls then placed in a wash until dark. then was placed under a tree on his knees with a bandanna tied to a rope and placed under his chin to make it appear as though he killed himself , if you ask me that took alot of planning and does not sound like a fit of rage to me . What do you think? Everyone tells me I need to get over it , How do you get over it ? My son was only 12, I adored him and he adored me , I will never hear him say" I Love You Mom or " Your the best Mom ever" I will never hold him in my arms or hear his laughter, He will never get married, have kids or be the professional baseball player he longed to be . Murder does'nt just affect the ones closest to it , it affects everyone that loved the victim, many many lives have had some kind of mark left on them because of the crime my brother committed, Some say forgiveness is the key to peace, How do you forgive such an act. Yes I'm angry and feel I have a right to be , My brother owes me some kind of answers, But the truth is he's a liar and a coward, I loved and trusted him and he betrayed me in the worst way, I just dont understand WHY , Why he hurt my child, How can he live with himself . sending him to prison is'nt enough for me , I think he should have to face what he did everyday like I do. they should plaster his cell with photos of my son both alive and dead, But then again after what he did would anything affect him? He carried my sons casket to the gravesite after what he did, How will I ever forgive everything he did? The last time I held my son was that night, He was so cold, eyes and mouth wide open as if he was scared. I sat on the ground with him and prayed for god to give me just five more minutes with him , That imagine haunts me and probally always will . I never got to say good-bye. its like a dream at times and feel as though I'll wake up or my son will come through that door and everything will be alright again. the truth is it will never be right. and the reality is I'll never in my life time get over this nightmare , and I will always blame myself in some way, for it was me that let my brother live with me . my son knew it there was one person he could count on it was me , I feel like I let him down , I was'nt there that day when he really needed me, the murder of my sonI will never understand .
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Apr 4, 2005 6:05:52 GMT -5
Dear Misty, I'm so sorry about your son. Please don't believe people that say you have to move on, etc. You'll never be the same after this. You can rebuild your life and not let it destroy you, but you'll be forever changed. Every recovery is different, so do what's best for you at whatever time. There doesn't need to be any rush to "get over it" when there's no way we can completely get over a tragedy like this. I know the sense of betrayal you feel. My Mother murdered my Dad and Grandma. I'll always feel that betrayal, even though I still feel love for her. She died 8 years ago. I had to pray to forgive her, I couldn't do it on my own. Forgiveness is also something that's up to the person to do. Please don't let people pressure you on this issue. I had a person ask me if I forgave Mom less than a few months after it happened. Of course I hadn't, it was just way too soon. I'm glad you found this board and hope it'll help you. Please let us know how you are, etc., in the future. Take care.
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Post by mattsma on Apr 4, 2005 9:30:44 GMT -5
Hi Misty, I agree with Laura. She pretty much covered it all. I welcome you, but am so sorry you had to find your way here. Be good to yourself. b-safe deb
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Post by joanwakefield on Aug 22, 2005 22:01:15 GMT -5
Hi Misty,
I'm just now getting to the point where I can read other people's posts and wanted you to know that your story really tore at my heart. I lost my dad in June, when my mother shot him, and since I was the first on the scene, and held him and cried like I never cried before, I knew it was the worst thing I'd ever gone thorough. I told several people that the only way it could have been worse would have been if I lost a child instead of a parent.
You have my deepest sympathy. I truely can't imagine the depth of your pain ... and it has been so recent. I hope time helps both of us heal.
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Post by wordup on Aug 23, 2005 1:11:24 GMT -5
I don't know how I messed this post, but after reading it, my heart just broke, You sound so much like my daughter, saying the same things, my heart surely goes out to you as your loss touches so close to home. I'm sooooo sorry to hear about the loss of your son, and I can tell you as a grandmother It has really changed my life, we struggle everyday, so many unanswered questions, My prayers are with you.
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Post by jazilynn on Oct 21, 2005 12:07:01 GMT -5
My heart goes out to you also Misty.Everytime I read someone else's post it bring me back to the ordeal that we all are facing .One time I felt alone like nobody knew what I was feeling.the anger ,confusion,and all the other emotions leave you tired all the time .My father was murdered this past Aug, and for awhile I couldn't get out of bed or I would sleep all day and be up all night walking the floor.There were times I would lay in bed and look up at the ceiling and see my Dad's face or I would hear him called out to me.It gets better but it never goes away.My brother hasn't spoke to me either.But I can't say that I'm ready to hear anything he has to say anyway.Forgiveness I'm definately not there yet although I know that the Lord want's me to.I do know it's alot easier being angry than it is to forgive.We all just have to commit to taking it one day at a time and know that with the Lord's help and time we will get through this.It helps me in knowing that my father went to heaven and one day he will meet me at the gate and that he's watching me and whispering in my ear (let not your heart be worried)that we will all know why in time.I'll pray for youand remember One Day At A Time.Jazilynn
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Post by Misty419 on Mar 31, 2006 3:21:48 GMT -5
I would like to thank you all for your replys to my post, They really mean alot to me , when your feeling so alone its really nice to log on and know somewhere out there your not alone and there are really people out there that care and understand the depth of pain that is felt over the awful loss of our love ones. may god bless each and every one of you. Sometimes just a kind word means the world to a lonely broken hearted soul.
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Post by meme on Mar 31, 2006 14:58:41 GMT -5
No one on earth should have to suffer the murder of a loved one. When it is a child that is murdered, All you can think of is how helpless he must have been. So sorry. ____________________________________ When people say anything as cruel as "get over it" tell them NO, you will never get over it. _____________________________________________ There is another thread on here on "forgive a murderer". No way I will EVER forgive murder. Murder is an unforgivable act- the Holy Bible says so over and over. What I can't undertand is how your mom is acting. Did she love youe son at all? I know people who are spiritually polluted enough to stand behind a murderer, pay their bond, etc. These misguided, blinded forgivers will have to go through some tough times to learn their spiritual lesson of rejecting evil. _______________________________- Maybe your mom feels guilty for not being a good mother to your brother. Right now, she's not being a good mother to YOU.
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Post by meme on Mar 31, 2006 15:08:43 GMT -5
I forgot to add, your mom must be in denial, she cannot BEIEVE her son would commit murder and prefers to think it was a suicide. The TV had a program about kids playing a choaking game. They pass out long enough to get that euphoric feeling or something like a high. Do you think it's possible that your brother and son played that choking game and it went horribly wrong? Or was this an out-and out intentional murder?
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Post by Misty419 on Aug 17, 2006 13:09:29 GMT -5
Just to let everyone know we finally have a trial date for January 23, 2007. the defense attorney is asking for a settlement on this case but his Idea of settlement means time served which the state say in no way will ever happen. and at this point he will not even consider a settlement for he thinks we have a strong case and wants to take it all the way to trial. I will let you all know what happens when more information becomes available to me .
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Post by mattsma on Aug 17, 2006 17:25:15 GMT -5
hi misty, Thanks for the update. How are you doing, it has been awhile since you posted. "SETTLE"..........oh please. I wish you the best and hope that justice is on your side. I know this has to be terribly hard for you. Losing your son at the hands of your brother. (((hugs))) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. take care & b-safe deb
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Post by taterfay on Aug 17, 2006 18:17:34 GMT -5
Misty..I am so sorry about your son. I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose a child. Losing my sister to murder has been bad enough. Please take care of yourself and surround yourself with those that care and listen and know better than to expect you to just "get over it"..you never will..none of us will. I know it's easy for you to blame yourself (my mother does the same thing about my sister) but please try not to. I don't think there was anything you could have done to prevent it! I am also so sorry that what would normally be your natural support system (your family) isn't there for you..how horrible! I'm glad you found this board! Big Hugs, Stacey
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on Aug 17, 2006 21:15:27 GMT -5
Oh how horrible misty......I guess I just failed to catch this perticular thread until now what a trajic and terrifying case......I am soooo sorrry that you had to endure this and the grief you still endure must be just unbearable My sweet Jessica was stabbed to flee for her life with which she had no luck Her autopsy said the knife went in just far enough to puncture a lung and the main aurtery into her heart I can only guess as to how long after which she ran and screamed for help....she was found alone in a nieghbors home after breaking a window and finding the phone diconnected she went to their bathtub to bleed out ..not wanting to leave the blood evrywhere,........ I only wish we ( you and i ) could have been there those critical moments before to where we would have sacrificed our own lives to save our precous babies....I pray for you comfort those quiet times that are all but quiet for us........oxoxoxoxoxoxxo toni
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Post by tamècasmom on Aug 17, 2006 21:23:42 GMT -5
Mitsy,
Stay as strong as you can for you son during the trial and I hope the outcome is guilty. As you know here we understand that you will never get over "it". I do not like saying "it" when referring to Tameca's murder. I tell people they are correct I will never get over my daughter's murder. I never call Tameca's murder "it" because I feel it allows people to minimize the act of murder and my pain.
My body tighten as I read your Apr 2, 2005, post please take care of you........................
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Post by Misty419 on Sept 11, 2006 11:47:53 GMT -5
we'll here I am once again, Today I am really on edge for some reason. I'm hoping someone knows the answer to this: We are scheduled for something that is called evedentry hearing on October 13,2006. I am told it will be an all day thing but am not sure what this is about or what will happen that day. if anyone knows and can explain this to me that would be great. as for anything else the days are still ruff. I miss my son so much, Sometimes I sit back and look around me with all that is happening , I look at the other children and still to this day, I see, I feel that missing piece and think to myself, Is this really my life? and then I feel myself screaming inside No !!!!! This can't be , It just doesn't feel right. I have learned that there is no such thing as normal in my life anymore, for normal stopped in my life the day my son died. We go on like in a dream state trying not to think about the awful , the painful, or the memories of that day But try as you might it is always there to sneak back up on you , the pain hits you out of no where sometimes and alls you can do is pray for the strength to go on . :-[
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Post by mattsma on Sept 11, 2006 13:09:03 GMT -5
hi Misty, I am not familiar with the "evedentry" term........hummmmm, maybe I just don't hearing that word. I was in a total daze going through the trials, so there is alot that I didn't absorb. Call your victim's advocate, and ask that they explain all of that to you. They should also be going with you to all the court proceedings.
I know all to well about the "normal" life ending. You have to find a new norm, and that really sucks. A big piece of who we were before the murder, will always be missing. Our lives are forever changed in every way.
Good luck with the upcoming court stuff. Take care & keep us posted. (((((Hugs)))))) b-safe, deb
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Post by mary on Sept 11, 2006 19:35:20 GMT -5
Misty, How I wish I could be of some help just read your post and my room was like I was in a dark cloud just thinking back at that time in my life makes me shiver so empty so scared so numb.and it been 8 years for me. I agree with Deb, get hold of your victims Advacate as soon as you can, so she can get all the info she needs to help you(one time during the trail for my sons murders the DA forgot to touch base with my Advacate and we were both lost.)it was an over sight. But do get intouch with yours as soon as you can.Miisty My prayers are so with you through this.Still looking for my normal? ?Still seams so unreal? ??Going to my safe place now,Lots of prayer for you. Mary mother of Devid: 8-22-72 8-10-98
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Post by tamècasmom on Sept 12, 2006 19:02:09 GMT -5
An evidentury hearing is when both sides come together before the judge in the case and present evidence they want to present during the trial. The judge usually gives his decision but some judges are known to have to get back to the lawyers with a final decision on some of the evidence presented during the hearing.
Hope this clears things up a bit for you.
Take care of you....................the best you can during this very difficult time in your life.
I loss my daughter so I feel just like what you posted like this is a dream; the problem is I never wake up to anything different.
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Post by wordup on Sept 18, 2006 22:44:21 GMT -5
I just want to add this: To you misty and tamecasmom and really to all of you that has not gone to the trials yet, I remember, still seems like it was yesterday, those days of unrest, those tears of not understanding, that missing link when the Hoildays came and my baby was not there with the rest. It was such a awful time for me. I know there is nothing that you guys can do, except take one day at a time, one moment, one secound, one hour. My heart goes out to all of you, as we are still dealing with uncertain days and those to come, but my you all know, you are never alone, as I've often said, if I can be of help in any way, please call on me. take care all.
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Post by Misty419 on Sept 22, 2006 10:56:41 GMT -5
Thank you all for your kind words, and Thank you for the information it really helps. As far as my court avocate goes he has never been much help, as a matter of fact I have not seen him in court since our first court date which was May 2003, But I do have a victims rights lawyer that has helped me alot through all of this . Again thank you and may you all find comfort and peace in your hearts.
Misty Robbins
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Post by banjosgirl on Oct 30, 2006 21:16:58 GMT -5
Hi Misty...
You said... [the one thing that really bothers me is she seems to not have any concerns about what happened to her own grandchild. its really sad if you ask me]
Your mother sounds just like my MIL. My husband was killed by his oldest brother in Nov. 2003. The two were polar opposites. My husband had incredible musical talent, was loved by his family, respected in the community, had a successful music career, had a nice home and loving wife.
His oldest brother had none of these. No one in the family even wanted him coming around. People in the neighborhood hated him. He was jealous of my husband. He was schizophrenic... actually certifiable! My MIL refused to sign the papers to put him in a mental hospital. She just "couldn't have a son in mental institution."
After he killed my husband, the jerk killed himself, and get this... MIL is more upset that no one cared about the suicide. She was more upset about what people thought of her son "the killer" than she was upset over her son the "murder victim". I could tell you things that she has done that would make your jaw drop!
I just can't see her anymore for fear that I might "speak the truth to her" or worse... shake her until her head falls off!
cb
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Post by taterfay on Nov 2, 2006 20:15:53 GMT -5
banjosgirl:
I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I have to admit that I feel sorry for your MIL because she has lost both of her sons (You may not want to hear me say that and I am sorry) but I would also feel very angry at her if I was in your shoes. It is good that you don't see her right now and end up getting in some huge fight that neither of you need. I hope after awhile, though, that you would be able to be honest with her about your feelings. I'm not into blaming but she really didn't do either of her sons a favor by NOT putting the schizophrenic son in an institution...if she hadn't worried so much about what other people would think then both of her sons (and YOUR husband) would probably be here today! I'm very sorry! Big Hugs! Stacey
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Post by Misty419 on Nov 10, 2006 12:25:24 GMT -5
He everyone today seems to be one of those emotional days, I go back to court 11-30-2006 and it seems as though the courts are going back to the grand jury to get a murder one inditment which would make my brother eligible for death, I have told them that is not what I want, You have to understand that this is my brother and yes he did kill my son but killing him is not going to bring my sweet Weyman back, I feel justice would be greater served if he was to get life in prison, Besides when my son died the one thing I kept saying was that I did not wish this on anyone, to agree to death would cause so much more pain and even though I dont agree or get along with my mother cause of things she said and did after Weyman's death there is no way I can have a hand in causing her this kind of pain. Others say I am crazy that I should go for death, the fact is he's my brother, Not that I will ever forgive him , remeber this man lived with me for 7 years, How do you turn love to hate ? your input would be great. Thanks for listening .
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Post by tamècasmom on Nov 10, 2006 13:58:52 GMT -5
Mitsy,
I understand how you feel about not wanting death for your brother I do not know who murdered my child but like you I would not want the death penalty for him and I am certain the person who murder my child is not a family member. I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE CRAZY I believe God made all kinds of people and when you were made he gave you a really big heart. I also, understand you not wanting to put your mother through what you know about, living life without your child on this earth with you.
It is hard for us MVS to go on at times, no one really understands why we feel they way we feel which is OK. The part that gets to me is when people try to change the way we feel because they believe we should feel differently having never walked in our shoes they should listen and try to understand not try to change our beliefs and/or how we are feeling about life and our decisions.
Please do not be hard on yourself because of your choice, you are the MVS who has the right to make decisions that you can live with because when all is said and done you will be left living with your choice(s) and you do not want to add regret to your plate already full with grief.
One more thing, let your emotions roll, it is not good to hold them in, and of course take care of you………
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Nov 11, 2006 7:17:40 GMT -5
Dear Misty419, I understand 100% that you don't want your brother to get death. I felt this way about my Mother, who killed my Dad and Grandma. At the same time, I never wanted an in-person relationship with her again. The biggest reason is she was severely mentally ill and never got better, despite the state hospital she was in trying everything they could. You shouldn't be getting heat from anyone, BUT this is a sad fact about the world we're in: many in this world PRIDE themselves on the mentality of every murder case is the same, none of them have remorse, they should all be killed, etc., etc. What gets me, as Tamecasmom has said, is we're supposed to hear advice from people who have NEVER BEEN THROUGH IT? HELLO??!! People need to realize that those of us who are inter-family MVS's have issues to deal with that they DON'T! The perpetrator isn't some stranger. It's someone we love. We have a lot of conflicting emotions and issues to work out. It's outrageous to me and yes I've experienced it. It's very hurtful to us. Progress takes TIME, which this "instant mentality" society refuses to face. And others are NOT the guardians of our progress, UNLESS this is someone we're made ourselves accountable to. That's OUR choice who we do that with. I REALLY love this coming from people who need help themselves and have never gotten it but judge others who HAVE. Anyway, I understand your conflict over your brother. Stick to your guns on your decisions. This is YOUR life and your choice on how you choose to relate to him. Please let us know how you are. Take care.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Nov 12, 2006 7:24:09 GMT -5
Hi Misty:
I know EXACTLY how you feel because I've been in your shoes. My brother (who's mentally ill) killed my father almost three years ago, and was charged with first degree murder. In our case, they actually listened to us and didn't seek the death penalty as they realized it would only inflict more pain and suffering on the family. I pray that will happen in your case as well.
When someone you love murders someone else that you love, the conflicting emotions that you feel are tremendous. You feel love and hate, anger and compassion, repulsion and compassion all at the same time. No one else can understand this unless they have gone through it. It's simply a special kind of "hell" that we have to live with.
Don't let anyone else tell you how to feel. Remember, they don't REALLY know how you feel. You're not crazy, and what you are feeling is actually quite normal. Please know that we care about you, and that we're here for you to vent as you need.
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redd
Newbie
Posts: 7
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Post by redd on Nov 19, 2006 21:11:52 GMT -5
Misty:
You made a comment that your advocate is not being supportive and/or not there when needed. Please contact the following person and let her know that you have a court date coming up and really need some support. She can contact someone for you. Beckie is in Phoenix, that is very close to you and this would be of interest to her. An advocate that is not supportive is not an advocate. You do not need more stress put on you, you are going through so much right now. This advocate should be explaining each step to you and let you know what you might expect.
Again, please do not put off contacting Beckie, do it as soon as you read this.
Beckie Miller-Chapter Leader, Valley of the Sun, POMC e-mail: beckierose@aol.com
602-582-0917 is a number you can call, it is a 24 hour voice messaging. If you cannot contact via e-mail then call and let them know what you need.
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on Dec 1, 2006 17:24:30 GMT -5
I went on Weyman's memorial.....He was a beautiful young man and I know you must miss him something horrible.. As do I Jessica, she was only 19 ....But I guarentee you shes watching out for him. If you would like to visit her memorial search engine "Jessica Tarlton" I dont know why it helps for people to visit but it surely does.......God bless you and hang in there its tough going down our road..real tough. I am praying for you and your family..oxoxoxoxox toni
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Post by taterfay on Dec 12, 2006 14:04:47 GMT -5
Misty: I just went and signed Weyman's guestbook. What a cutie! My heart breaks for you all. I know that Dec. 18th is coming up and I will say extra prayers for you and your family during that very hard day! Please take care of each other and come back to this site often:) Love, Stacey
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Post by Misty419 on Jan 15, 2007 13:34:28 GMT -5
The holidays are over and I made it through it , The strange thing this year was that when I went to the cemetary to decortate for christmas I broke down in tears and had the urge to leave as quick as possible, I do not understand this feeling that over came me, needless to say I did not stay there and have not been back since, I have thought about this long and hard and wonder is it possible that after 4 years after my son death am I just now starting to realize that this is my life now , that my baby boy is really dead and never coming home again. others try to talk about Weyman and I feel my heart start to race, the tears spring to my eyes and I can't stop them from coming, I feel like I am starting to break down and I fear this more than anything, Is this normal? I am fighting so hard to stay strong for my children and the closer we get to trial the harder It is . I feel like when I cry it makes everyone around me feel bad and that is not my intention what so ever, some say I blame everything on my sons death , I am fighting to stay a float here. Just dont know what to do anymore, I want to be strong, I want to survive.
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