|
Post by toniga on Mar 23, 2006 19:32:35 GMT -5
I am in a weird mood today.A few weeks ago my mom went to my father's grave with my sister and at first I tried to push it out of my mind that she went there but it pisses me off to some degree.
In my case its not just that she was responsible for his death but that she tells me about him and what "could" have been.If the information was clear in regards to death I think I could have made sense of it.I know i'll never get answers or get the complete truth.She pisses me off! Poor her! "Boo hoo I didn't do it.It was accident.The world MADE me hold the guy against my will.My daddy beat me" blah blah all her excuses are just that.She killed him not me and she has that on her shoulders til the day she dies.
I am sick of people telling me these "Dr.Phil" fricking answers that I never thought of when they honestly have no clue!I have come to accept my journey in this world will more than likely have challenges/isolation and that I will feel angry and pissed.
I will not give in or give up until I die regardless of what has been thrown my way.i will not let my upbringing become an excuse like some people who have had less chaos than myself have let it become.
|
|
|
Post by toniga on Mar 23, 2006 19:34:14 GMT -5
oops typos!
"If the information was clear in regards to HIS death I think I could have made sense of it."
"The world MADE me hold the GUN against my will"
|
|
|
Post by meme on Mar 23, 2006 21:30:35 GMT -5
Typical murderer. They always have somewhere else to place the blame for THEIR actions. Puke!!! (Sorry, I have zero tolerance for excuses, even if it was your mom) Why isn't she locked up?
|
|
|
Post by toniga on Mar 24, 2006 1:04:47 GMT -5
I had to really hold back from being defensive here with the typical murder comment but anyways my mom is out because she got manslaughter.Regardless of what she did she is still my mother and believe it or not there is some connection there!
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 24, 2006 6:48:12 GMT -5
Thank you, Toniga! I STILL love my Mother and always will. Of course I felt hate for her also. Now I just hate what she DID. I know you can love and hate a person at the same time, and that's how I felt with her. Even though I didn't want an in person relationship with her again, I did love her. And I'm not going to believe she never repented or wasn't possibly saved UNTIL I have proof. She never told her guardian (my brother) anything about this, and if she told anyone else they haven't come forward. I'm going to take GOD'S word for it, ie., what God's Word says. And if I have to wait until I die to find out, I can live with that. I want to keep HOPING she repented. I keep thinking of KING DAVID and MOSES, who each murdered. King David put out a hit on someone. Moses killed someone in anger. However, BOTH of them REPENTED and never did it again. David was called a "man after God's own heart". Does anyone honestly believe Moses is in hell??!! PLEASE! I'm pretty sure him and King David are mentioned in the "faith hall of fame" in the Book of Hebrews, but I'd need to double check it to make sure. Not every case is the same. Not every murderer is the same. My Mother tried to kill herself several ways BEFORE she was arrested. That points to how bad she felt about what she did. She didn't fit the blanket statement of they only confess after arrest. She confessed BEFORE she was taken into custody, once the pills she tried to kill herself with were out of her system. Until she confessed we didn't know who had done it for sure and she was so out of it with the pills. I know, I was there. I know I'm ranting but feel a need to. Thanks for listening.
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 24, 2006 6:53:54 GMT -5
My Mother also never made any excuses for what she did. EVEN with her untreated mental illness, which she refused to treat. She never tried to get out of anything, and confessed once the pills were out of her system. She told my brother to his face what all happened after he asked her. So there were never any excuses or any attempts to deny. She stated in 1 letter I read that she knew she did a horrible thing, and in person she was so guilty she could barely look at me and her eyes and body language showed her shame and remorse. Thanks for listening.
|
|
|
Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 24, 2006 11:05:31 GMT -5
Dear Toniga, I can understand your feelings to a degree. I, too, won't ever give up and let what happened to us mess up my life forever. What it did to me already was enough, but it's up to ME to fix it. We could sit around and blame but because we're survivors we do what we need to to fix what we can from our pasts. I also hate the "excuses" from those who are old enough to know better. "Dr. Phil" answers just aren't enough, with the complications of life in some cases. Especially murder cases, where each case is different. I hate so much that my Mother wouldn't get the mental help she needed. If she had, I'm convinced the murders might NOT have happened. Anyway, keep up the good work you're doing by not giving up. Take care.
|
|
|
Post by meme on Mar 25, 2006 14:10:05 GMT -5
Toniga, So sorry if I offended anyone. I speak from my own experience and what the detectives have said about their years of experience in homacide. I have been through three murders- the first boyfriend was kidnapped and murdered by terrorists in the Middle East. (no one was charged) ______________ The second murder, my boyfriend was knocked on the head with a brick, and his head split wide open after withdrawing money from an ATM in 2002. (no one was charged bc lack of evidence although we know who did it, Gary's ATM card was in the perps car!) _______________ The third was knocked unconscious with a sledgehammer and stabbed to death in 2005. (the murderer was charged and is whining not guilty). Trial May 22. __________________________________ I think ANY MURDER is outrageous, people who defend themselves or attack others can disable someone- they don't have to KILL!
|
|