Post by kjasonn6969 on Mar 24, 2006 0:15:18 GMT -5
Murder in families can happen to anyone and anywhere. Living in the city your chance is a little higher then in the country or in a rural area. Still it does not matter who you are, what you look like, where you live, or how much money you have. Each killer may or may not have a preference of who he or she wants to kill. Some killers prefer elderly people, some young people; some only chose to kill woman, and some chose only men. It doesn’t matter if you are black, white, yellow, brown, or purple it can still happen.
I know for a fact when this happens in your family you think that you can never trust anyone ever again. You are constantly looking over your shoulder not knowing if the person knows who you are and where you live. I mean after all he was able to find one of your loved ones already who to say that he can’t find another. These kinds of thoughts are what go through your mind constantly until you know that the person who did this hennas crime is behind bars and will not be able to hurt anyone else. You feel like your world is an open book and that everyone knows what just happened. You feel as if everyone is staring at you because it is written on your forehead like a big neon sign.
Never the less you try your hardest to keep yourself together and move on with your life and also try to deal with your lose. If you feel like you a going off the deep end you need to get yourself into a group. These groups help you understand the emotions that are running through your body like uncontrollable flood. These groups have members in them that have been through or are going through what you are; the biggest thing to remember is that you are not alone in this. You have your family and your friends, even though you feel that they don’t understand your emotion you need to keep talking. These people are going to be your biggest life line. They are going to be the ones to pick you up when you fall.
Now here comes the scary part, you may or may not have to deal with the police when everything happened. If you did then you have just started the process of repeating yourself. This will be the hardest thing to do. You will relive each agenizing moment over and over until they get the guy and his sentence is in place. If you didn’t deal with them from the beginning then you are walking into the middle of the investigation not knowing what has already been said or what has already been done. You need to ask questions and a lot of them. Always ask who, what, when, where, why, and how these questions will get you the best answers. You need to call at least once or twice a month to find out where they are in the investigation. Hopefully you are lucky and they were able to find the person who committed this crime right away.
Now it is time to start dealing with attorneys and the courts. You need to make sure that your attorney is qualified to deal with this type of case. You need to call and ask question, find out how they are going to deal with your case, if they are going to try to make any deals with the suspect and always make sure that you have some say. You have the right to have your concerns herd after all you are the victim not them. You need to write letters and you need to keep all letters and legal documents that you receive from the courts, police, attorneys, and if for any reason the suspect sends you an apology letter this can be used.
It is your time to deal with your feeling now, you need to find counseling I know that you probably have herd everyone tell you need to talk, and well this is true. You need to be around people that have been through this. Group counseling is good but it is not recommended to be the first choice. You need to start out with one on one counseling so that you can understand what each feeling you are having means. You need to learn how to deal with the depression that comes with lose of this magnitude. You will feel anger and sadness, you will also feel the need for revenge, don’t worry these are all natural reactions and feelings. After about six months to a year you will be ready to share your happy memories and sad ones too.
You need to stay in the group for a least a year, this is not going to go away over night. The more you talk to other the more you learn how to cope. There are a number of different groups and counselors that you can join. You can find them on line, in the phone book, ask the police department, or ask a friend. You can find counseling that is free, you can also pay this can range from twenty dollars an hours to two hundred dollars an hour. You can also find groups on the internet I belong to a really great on it is www.murdervictims.com these people have all had loses and they take the time to understand your feelings.
I heard a saying once, ‘If you stand alone in your time of need then you will fall alone, but if you stand together you can stand forever. My grandfather told this to me right before he died. This saying of his will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Just thought you guys would like to see it.
I know for a fact when this happens in your family you think that you can never trust anyone ever again. You are constantly looking over your shoulder not knowing if the person knows who you are and where you live. I mean after all he was able to find one of your loved ones already who to say that he can’t find another. These kinds of thoughts are what go through your mind constantly until you know that the person who did this hennas crime is behind bars and will not be able to hurt anyone else. You feel like your world is an open book and that everyone knows what just happened. You feel as if everyone is staring at you because it is written on your forehead like a big neon sign.
Never the less you try your hardest to keep yourself together and move on with your life and also try to deal with your lose. If you feel like you a going off the deep end you need to get yourself into a group. These groups help you understand the emotions that are running through your body like uncontrollable flood. These groups have members in them that have been through or are going through what you are; the biggest thing to remember is that you are not alone in this. You have your family and your friends, even though you feel that they don’t understand your emotion you need to keep talking. These people are going to be your biggest life line. They are going to be the ones to pick you up when you fall.
Now here comes the scary part, you may or may not have to deal with the police when everything happened. If you did then you have just started the process of repeating yourself. This will be the hardest thing to do. You will relive each agenizing moment over and over until they get the guy and his sentence is in place. If you didn’t deal with them from the beginning then you are walking into the middle of the investigation not knowing what has already been said or what has already been done. You need to ask questions and a lot of them. Always ask who, what, when, where, why, and how these questions will get you the best answers. You need to call at least once or twice a month to find out where they are in the investigation. Hopefully you are lucky and they were able to find the person who committed this crime right away.
Now it is time to start dealing with attorneys and the courts. You need to make sure that your attorney is qualified to deal with this type of case. You need to call and ask question, find out how they are going to deal with your case, if they are going to try to make any deals with the suspect and always make sure that you have some say. You have the right to have your concerns herd after all you are the victim not them. You need to write letters and you need to keep all letters and legal documents that you receive from the courts, police, attorneys, and if for any reason the suspect sends you an apology letter this can be used.
It is your time to deal with your feeling now, you need to find counseling I know that you probably have herd everyone tell you need to talk, and well this is true. You need to be around people that have been through this. Group counseling is good but it is not recommended to be the first choice. You need to start out with one on one counseling so that you can understand what each feeling you are having means. You need to learn how to deal with the depression that comes with lose of this magnitude. You will feel anger and sadness, you will also feel the need for revenge, don’t worry these are all natural reactions and feelings. After about six months to a year you will be ready to share your happy memories and sad ones too.
You need to stay in the group for a least a year, this is not going to go away over night. The more you talk to other the more you learn how to cope. There are a number of different groups and counselors that you can join. You can find them on line, in the phone book, ask the police department, or ask a friend. You can find counseling that is free, you can also pay this can range from twenty dollars an hours to two hundred dollars an hour. You can also find groups on the internet I belong to a really great on it is www.murdervictims.com these people have all had loses and they take the time to understand your feelings.
I heard a saying once, ‘If you stand alone in your time of need then you will fall alone, but if you stand together you can stand forever. My grandfather told this to me right before he died. This saying of his will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Just thought you guys would like to see it.