Post by pumpkin12903 on Aug 16, 2007 11:50:21 GMT -5
The sadiversary of the murders in my family was yesterday. I felt horrible physically and mentally. The night before I kept having nightmares and then woke up from 1 of those with acid in my throat. I have reflux and this RARELY happens now, but when it does it's a pain. I had coughing fits from it and I can't sleep with that or the burning the acid causes in the throat. I was a mess. The positive about this is that the reflux is a TON better than it was years ago. Yesterday I felt like getting in my car and just driving away. But, as all MVS know, you can't ever MENTALLY leave your trauma. The sadiversary for me brings back ALL the emotions from that day in a flood. And I miss Dad, Grandma and Mom more. I'll never not believe it all could have been prevented. Which is why if I know of anyone who has a true mental illness who isn't getting the full help they need, it makes me so scared and sad. Because I KNOW what can happen if people don't get help. I think 1 reason yesterday was so hard is that 2006 I had some things go on that were very rough. Being harrassed at work and on my home e-mail by a co-worker was a horrible 1. And having a bad gallbladder went on from August until November. The worst part was going through the tests, having to get money for surgery, the pain, attacks, trying to keep working at least. And my cat Pumpkin died in July at the age of 13 years. I hate that stuff like this knocks me OFF my goal schedule! But, in the long run, I'll get there. No matter how long it takes, if you make your goals, that's what's important. I feel better today. I'm GLAD that day is over! If it weren't for these boards, I'd be worse for sure! THANK YOU for your support and friendship. And these boards have gotten me "out of myself" a LOT, which REALLY needed to happen in my 1st years of sobriety. Thanks for listening.