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Post by drewsmom595 on Sept 15, 2007 6:38:56 GMT -5
I was reading an article about a local city councilman who was accused of sexually molesting his two daughters, and then he committed suicide when he was being investigated for possible molestation charges.
The article quoted a mental health expert by saying the competing feelings these girls must be feeling -- anger, sadness, guilt, shock, horror, confusion, and even love for the perpetrator -- can make the girls very emotionally numb, where they're feeling so many different emotions at the same time that they don't even really know what to feel.
The expert described this jumble of emotions as "The Twilight Zone Effect."
I don't know if this is a real term or not, but I had an "ah-ha" moment when I read that. Because I know what it's like to be in the Twilight Zone...I've been living in it for three years now. Hopefully, I'm making progress to get out of it, but I haven't yet.
Has anyone else experienced this confusing tangle of feelings and would you consider yourself still living in the Twilight Zone?
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Post by taterfay on Sept 17, 2007 22:05:37 GMT -5
I feel like things make more sense now (but only sometimes) but I like the term "Twilight Zone Effect." The murders and the pain and the confusion is so disorienting. Life is surreal, for sure!
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Post by slanthier on Sept 26, 2007 12:35:13 GMT -5
Yes, I live in it too. It's like I'm alive, and functioning, but everything and everyone around me is.....not in my frame of mind.
I've been in it for 13 years now, and I'd really like to find an exit door.
Know you are not alone. I add you to my prayers...
Shawn
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Post by drewsmom595 on Sept 26, 2007 20:44:30 GMT -5
Hey Stacey & slanthier:
Glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels like I'm living in the Twilight Zone. I just wish sometimes that changing my life would be as easy as changing the channel on my TV!!!!
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Post by unk on Oct 3, 2007 23:36:15 GMT -5
twilight zone effect. good description. before i knew that i had pain i worked. and worked. and worked. and worked. and worked. and worked. i did not know how to feel. then, when i learned how important it was too feel (not that i had a choice, life gave me the option of facing up or becoming so dysfunctional that even i could recognize it) i began the long journey that i'll be on for the rest of my life. important lesson for me was learning to embrace the present.
i'm not sure that's helpful to you. but, big hug to you.
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Post by gladriel on Mar 13, 2009 11:52:26 GMT -5
Well at least we are all in good company here in the twilight zone! Sometimes I feel that you are my family because you all understand....why can't they?
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Post by blueyezs1959 on Mar 19, 2009 8:21:14 GMT -5
So that is what I'm feeling The Twilight Zone Effect , by not knowing how to react to the ones that killed my son I feel so numb around them and toward them. It being my brother and sister-in-law, I guess my mind keeps me in this state to keep me from going crazy and hurting someone. Like the ones that took my son's life.
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Post by kellik on Mar 26, 2009 13:51:39 GMT -5
How true that is! It has been awhile since I posted here. My husband killed my mother in June last year....overnight I lost everything......how i feel seems to change by the minute......
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Post by anakahashi008 on Mar 29, 2009 14:36:24 GMT -5
I still feel like I'm in a haze, a cloud, and yes the twilight zone. I can't say I'm getting better but I'm getting better at addressing when I may lose it. My anger has boiled over too much and I am not the same person I was before my lovely friend was so brutally taken. I have given up friends, because they do not understand and insult me for feeling the way I do, esp when they hear it has been over a year since the incident. (I'm very private and only the people who were involved and my employer were aware., until recently. It's no one else's business.) They do not understand or care that it feels like last week...all the time.. That I dream of her death.. anyone who has said "why can't you just let it go?" I've never spoken to again. I do not know how to function on this world anymore. I even have problems making new friends now because I am worried to expand my heart that far to be myself because I don't know who that is anymore. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Mar 29, 2009 17:03:12 GMT -5
I still feel it sometimes too. After almost 8 years. Not every day anymore, but whenever the traumatic feelings are triggered, it can happen again. Nightmares do it to me too, although those are not so often anymore, it did take a long time for that to change. I used to have them almost every night for a long time.
Just yesterday we had a technician out here to adjust and set up the new version of the modem we had to get (or lose service) for my internet access. He was here for over an hour trying to get it working right. Then the last time he went into my office to make one last adjustment, he looked up and noticed her picture on the shelf. He said startled - that's Beth. I know her. I told him yes she is my daughter. He said he was at her funeral. And he told me his last name, and then I remembered, and the world was foggy again. And he gave me a hug with tears in his eyes, and I was crying too.
My hair is gray now - he is older - we didn't even know, if he had not seen her picture. And I was foggy until this morning, but I had someone there who wanted to talk about her with me for a while too. So that's okay - I'll take that. I can come back - I've done it before, and I can do it again, and if I can do it then others can do it too.
I will always love having someone to talk about her with. The people who will do that with me are so special to me. And it helps.
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Post by michaelsbubba on Feb 2, 2012 3:24:35 GMT -5
+1 - Thanks for putting how I'm feeling into words and letting me know I'm not alone.
"...emotionally numb, where they're feeling so many different emotions at the same time that they don't even really know what to feel.
The expert described this jumble of emotions as "The Twilight Zone Effect."
I don't know if this is a real term or not, but I had an "ah-ha" moment when I read that. Because I know what it's like to be in the Twilight Zone."
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Feb 2, 2012 7:33:53 GMT -5
+1 - Thanks for putting how I'm feeling into words and letting me know I'm not alone. "...emotionally numb, where they're feeling so many different emotions at the same time that they don't even really know what to feel. The expert described this jumble of emotions as "The Twilight Zone Effect." I don't know if this is a real term or not, but I had an "ah-ha" moment when I read that. Because I know what it's like to be in the Twilight Zone." Dear michaelsbubba, I'm very sorry about your brother. Unfortunately, those of us who have had a family member murder another family member have more issues to resolve. All MVS have many things in common, but we that are what I call "inter-family" have some things unique to us to resolve as best as possible compared to other categories of MVS. The feelings you're having are normal for what you've been through. I'm glad you've found this board and hope you find some comfort here. Take care.
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Post by drewsmom595 on May 6, 2012 13:26:07 GMT -5
Well, it's been 5 years since I started this post about The Twilight Zone Effect...and I can honestly say that some days I'm "still in the zone." Not all the time...but some of the time. In other words, if you're feeling a bunch of emotions all at the same time due to inter-family violence, and you're feeling so confused that you almost feel numb, know that it does get better. There is hope at the end of this journey. Take care!
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