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Post by darci on Oct 3, 2007 11:35:07 GMT -5
i lost both my daughters tragically in 2002 they were shot and killed in there beds by there father ever since then i have been a lost soul i feel like i serve no purpose anymore and struggle with daily activities and life please tell me there is something i can do im going crazy
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Post by carolyn on Oct 3, 2007 14:51:10 GMT -5
OH you poor lady I am so sorry!
I understand what you say too. I also know that I cannot not make it better but I am here to listen and I feel for you very much.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Oct 3, 2007 16:20:41 GMT -5
Darci, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious daughters.
I've felt I was going crazy many times too. I hope that you can find at least a bit of comfort here, and some things that will help you somehow.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Oct 4, 2007 5:07:53 GMT -5
Dear darci, I'm very sorry about your Daughters. The things that helped me the most after the murders in my family were: counseling helped the most. Also attending Parents of Murdered Children meetings; writing about the tragedy; talking to understanding family and friends; going to church counseling to cover the spiritual aspects not covered in regular counseling; going to a spiritual support group and coming to this board and others. If you don't mind my asking, did your case go to trial? If so, what was the result? I hope we can be of help to you with our advice. Know that we're here for you. Take care.
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Post by taterfay on Oct 4, 2007 17:33:10 GMT -5
Hi darci:
I can't even imagine how much pain you must be in. I am so sorry about your daughters! Grief is such a nightmare, isn't it? It seems like we will drown in it. I am glad you found this board and hope it brings you some comfort. I HOPE that the murderer/father is in prison, is he?
Grief counseling, medication, prayer, grief support groups and talking and writing about my sister's murder OVER AND OVER AGAIN have really helped me. I still have a long way to go (well, the path of healing will never end) but for me it has gotten a bit better in the past 2 years.
Please keep us posted and vent here as much as you need!!! Huge, huge hugs! Stacey
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Post by bk2007 on Oct 14, 2007 1:54:34 GMT -5
Dear Darci,
I'm so sorry to hear of the lost of your sweet girls. No one should have to go through that horror and I understand when you say you feel no purpose. I don't know if you are ready for something like this but I immediately thought you would be a wonderful person to reach out to a daughter that has lost her mother to murder. Both of you would understand the terrible loss and pain and be able to give in exchange a special friendship and support to each other. Possibly you could talk with a young woman at a victims support group locally or even make yourself available on-line to murder victim survivors. It might help you feel like all the experience and tragedy you have gone through could allow you to comfort a daughter with a similar loss.
I hope you stay with this group, there a many people who understand and are available for you.
Blessings, Barb.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Oct 14, 2007 17:14:46 GMT -5
Hi Darci:
I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughters! What a senseless tragedy!
Do you have friends and/or family close by? Have you been to counseling? If so, was it one-on-one counseling or a support group? What happened to your husband? And how are your in-laws treating you these days? Has your doctor given you any medicine for depression, PTSD or anxiety?
I'm sorry to be asking you so many questions, but it's difficult to give you advice on what to do without knowing more about your particular situation.
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Post by Snowleopard on Nov 1, 2007 1:13:35 GMT -5
Two items on a parallel that I use to maintain my life focus when things seem 'bad'.
The first is a self written code. You (ie, Me) are a Guardian of the Forest. As long as there is one living thing in the forest, even if it is a microbe in the soil, you have a job to do (and you are not permitted any kind of self release).
The above I use to maintain a focus, an indentified purpose about what I am doing on the planet.
The second is lesser, more of a means of a stress reliever. Look out the window, pick a plant, be it a tree or blade of grass. Consider the marvel of it, of all the different ecosystems that can be found in that one location, consider each one and how it exists, what life means to it.
Either one could be seen in an abstract or quite literal.
May you find your answer.
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Post by demor215 on Nov 1, 2007 8:41:52 GMT -5
Oh Darci, I am so very sorry!! Bless your heart.
Like some of the others have said, counseling is usually a good place to start. If you aren't taking them already, antidepressants could be a big help too. They were for me and my family when my daughter was killed.
I too felt useless after my daughter died. Something that has helped me is charity work in my daughter's name. She loved little kids and babies and I knit and sew burial outfits for premature babies who die, and I also knit blankets for sick kids in the hospital. This might not be anything that you would want to do but is just a suggestion. You might find something else that they would have been interested in or supported, though I don't know how old your daughters were and this may not be a possibility.
You have come to a good place here. We are here for you anytime you want to talk. It has certainly helped me.
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