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Post by beemo on Apr 10, 2008 11:58:13 GMT -5
My nephew sent me a letter from jail. That kind of threw me for a loop.
He talked about being sorry for what happened to my dad and if he could change places he would. He said he wouldn't kill himself, but if he was killed in prison, he would be happy golfing with my dad in Heaven.
He also said he would never come after me or my family. I've said all along my family's safety came above all. Who's to say he wouldn't flip out again and kill someone else?
I'm considering writing back to him, mainly to ask him WHY he did this to his own grandfather. Also to call him out and tell him it's fine and good to say he would never hurt my family, but who could ever believe that after what he did to my dad.
Has anyone else received a letter like this?
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Post by taterfay on Apr 10, 2008 12:40:39 GMT -5
Wow..that would throw me for a loop as well!
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Apr 11, 2008 10:03:15 GMT -5
Dear beemo, I read 1 letter from my Mother (who was the perpetrator in our case). She said something like "My God. What have I done"? She also thought that her, my Dad and I were living in the place where the murders happened and that we still had 1 of our dogs that we'd given away once we moved in there. It just made me so sad how she destroyed her life when reading it. It also showed how mentally sick she was. I understand 100% that you fear your nephew. I was terrified of Mom until she died. It's NOT unreasonable for you to have this fear! If you confront him by letter, it might help you. I think this is different for each MVS, as far as wanting or NOT wanting confrontation. If you think confronting him will help you with your healing, I say go for it. If you don't think it will, then don't. I can understand how this really got to you. I felt the same reading the letter from Mom. This past Christmas I was ready to read all the documents on her and our case that 1 of my family members has. While I was ready to know everything, it was also very painful. I hope you come to the right decision for you as far as confrontation goes. Take care.
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Post by cthewig on Apr 11, 2008 15:59:44 GMT -5
beemo, My brother has written me. His letter convinced me that his perception of reality was somewhat skewed. I've sent things with notes attached to him but I haven't addressed him murdering my father. I guess that I haven't asked because I really don't put any validity in his perception/opinion/excuse. His perception is/was obviously altered so it holds no meaning for me. I don't understand murder and I don't necessarily care to know the mind of one who does. I'm generally under the impression that I am better off not knowing the details because the details would likely haunt me.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Apr 12, 2008 8:24:08 GMT -5
About 9 hours after my Dad was murdered, I got a phone call from my brother in jail. That was the start of what has gone on to be four years now of excuse after excuse, explanation after explanation from him. I'm not sure I'll ever get a straight answer out of him because he's delusional.
I felt this compelling urge to confront him and ask him "why", but I was never satisfied with the answers that I received. For me, it's like trying to get blood out of a turnip.
If you feel it would be helpful for your healing to confront him, then by all means do so. But prepare yourself for hearing a lot of stuff that probably will not make sense or frustrate you some more...just in case.
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Post by beemo on Apr 18, 2008 10:43:57 GMT -5
I haven't written back yet......I'm still toying with the idea. I think everyone's right, I'm probably not going to be satisfied with the answer no matter what.
What was odd to me was how lucid his letter was. I actually thought, for someone who was going for NG by reason of insanity, this letter doesn't help your cause.
The good thing is, that since the trial ended, I have felt a lot more peaceful. I don't have that feeling of an imminent anxiety attack, and hearing my nephew's name doesn't make me cringe as much as it did before. I'm not dwelling on the crime scene images I had made up in my head as much. I did almost start crying when I heard that song Christina Aguilera wrote when her dad died, but that's not a bad thing. I've been wanting to watch my dad's memorial video again, although I'm pretty sure that will make me bawl.
I'll let you know when/if I write him back.
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Post by acavana on Apr 19, 2008 15:02:40 GMT -5
I received a letter from Michelle's murderer before her trial. It was a confession of sorts. He said that he didn't kill her, he killed the drugs... blah blah. Funny, there were no drugs in her system that night. Regardless, I remember shaking and reading it over and over. It kindof made me angry. After his appeal has passed, I will go see him in prison. He will look me in the eye and tell me what the hell happened. I will also let him know that her children are not living with a white picket fence, they are all separated and in the system. Of course everyone feels differently about communicating with the person who killed their loved one. Having it be a family member has to be so hard. And I think that you are right, he needs to see that SOMETHING inside him that led to what he did, and that is scary. I would say that it is up to you whether you communicate back to him, just remember there is no rush. And I concur with your feeling after being through the trial. It put something to rest inside of me.
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Post by wordup on Apr 22, 2008 1:41:04 GMT -5
MAn I had wrote a lot of stuff, and my time ran out on me, so I will cut it short this time, the murderer did write two letter that I know of, I took them and still have them, there was one thing that I noticed about them, He never said he was sorry for what he had done, instead he was talking like they were going to let him out the next day or something, and that he would have his family and live happily ever after(hum) I tell you what tho, I do think about what if they let him out for some crazy reason, I would be scared, not of what he might do, but what I might do to him,. Hope this will not really have to be my worry. take care.
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