mel
Newbie
Posts: 5
|
Post by mel on Jun 14, 2007 14:33:17 GMT -5
It’s been three months since my friend was brutally murdered. There have been no arrests, and it seems the police were not as thorough as they should have been. The thought of the person responsible being brought to justice has been the only thing I have looked forward to in this whole mess. Now it just seems like he will get away with it and a beautiful, sweet, young girl is gone for NOTHING! I have led a really blessed life….I have only lost my grandparents which while completely sad, they were in their 80s and 90s and I guess it’s a little easier to accept. But this, wow…..her death really shocked me….I have never felt pain or grief like this. I think of her all day, everyday and I’m just wondering how true is the statement “time heals”. I don’t believe that right now but I’m curious how others feel about it.
|
|
|
Post by drewsmom595 on Jun 15, 2007 5:52:43 GMT -5
I guess it's sort of true, but not really. Frankly I think grief from murder isn't like the grief you experience when your loved one dies a "normal" death like your grandparents did in their 90s. I don't think for me that I've "healed", and I don't think it's something that you get over. For me, it's something that I've learned to live with. I've gotten used to the pain, used to the fact that something that is "impossible" is truly possible, and used to the fact that something that happens to "other people" has happened to me. You have to learn how to live with anger, fear, and a broken heart...and that's really hard. It's not impossible, but it's difficult. At three months, you're grief is still really fresh. As time goes on, you learn how to live with it.
|
|
|
Post by wordup on Jun 16, 2007 20:45:52 GMT -5
I agree with drewsmom, some losses are different than others, I know what you are saying about the differenece in your loss, Now with timeing I find that I'm stronger, but then I still wonder about the pain of it all, because I still have my moments when this thing hits me, like on the birthdays ect.... In time you will get stronger, but for sure until they find who did this thing, you will have so many thoughts and feelings, I'm sure you have so many questions.
As it was said, you are so fresh in all of this, and as you read other posts you will see that we all here have been where you are now, it is not easy to just go through one day after the other, but you do the best you can with each day given to you. I'm sorry you are feeling down right now, but this is what this board is all about, so come and vent when you feel like it, You are not alone.
|
|
|
Post by mattsma on Jun 17, 2007 6:38:46 GMT -5
hi mel, :-*kisses & hugs to you. Grief is a very individual thing, and we all deal with it differently. Time does not heal all wounds, but the passage of time does make us stronger. I have found that to embrace our grief is much easier than fighting against it. This journey is hard enough on us, we simply do not have the srtength to fight with ourselves too. Cry, cry, cry if you need too. Just remember when the tears slow down, pull up a good memory to make your heart smile. ((((((((hugs))))))))))) deb
|
|
mel
Newbie
Posts: 5
|
Post by mel on Jun 19, 2007 19:29:37 GMT -5
Thank you all for the kind words. Kristina was truly a beautiful person inside and out and she is so missed by all who knew and loved her. www.kristina-basile.memory-of.com
|
|
|
Post by wordup on Jul 1, 2007 1:57:35 GMT -5
Hello Mel, just wanted to say what a wonderful memorial site you have, and what a beautiful young lady is Kristina, I know you all will miss her, My prayer are with you and the rest of the family. take care.
|
|
mel
Newbie
Posts: 5
|
Post by mel on Jul 10, 2007 12:28:57 GMT -5
Thank you so much, and thanks for lighting a candle for Kristina. Hello Mel, just wanted to say what a wonderful memorial site you have, and what a beautiful young lady is Kristina, I know you all will miss her, My prayer are with you and the rest of the family. take care.
|
|
charlie
Sophomore
www.angelfire.com/planet/iceqn4urach
Posts: 55
|
Post by charlie on Jul 11, 2007 3:47:18 GMT -5
Its been just over a year for me, I still dont sleep well.Think about Rachel all the time.I hope time atleast dulls the hurt some. I'll keep you in my prayers hun. Youve got a wonderful memorial site, Im sure shes smiling down on you. charlie
|
|
|
Post by angelbaby on Oct 6, 2007 13:59:35 GMT -5
It has been more than five and a half years since my sister disappeared(le believes hubby murdered her) and I still can not deal with the grief.I think of her all the time,every day and I get so mad that there has been no justice for my baby sister.She means so much to me and I do not think I will be able to actually start healing and grieve the way most do until they find her body,we put her to rest finally and there is justice for her.For now,I feel I have to be her voice,and try to get the answers.And I still do not sleep without medication,which even then I only sleep three hours a night.
|
|
|
Post by taterfay on Oct 7, 2007 17:29:59 GMT -5
I am so sorry about Kristina! I think that "time heals all wounds" is nothing but a horrid cliche. I also find things like "it was their time to go" and "It was God's Will" to be cliches that never make me feel any better when people utter them. However, I do think (for myself, anyway) that time helps you process the tragedy little by little. I have come a long way in my healing in the (almost) 2 years since my sister was beaten to death, but I know that I will continue to work on healing (and be hit with waves of intense grief) probably for as long as I live. I always compare my grief to a big gaping wound. Time has a way of putting little protective scabs over that wound but at any time something very small can just rip that scab right off and I'm left bleeding just like I was the day my sister was murdered.
Hugs to you! Stacey
|
|