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Post by blueyezs1959 on Dec 8, 2008 10:02:22 GMT -5
My son Donnie Ray Hendley was killed by a drunk driver on July 27,2008 at 1:30 am. The drunk driver was my brother. Donnie had gone camping with my nephew (which was my brothers son-in-law) and some friends. The vehicle they were in had broken down and Donnie and my nephew decided to walk and get help the others stayed with the vehicle. Donnie and Chris had walked a ways and Donnie told him he had to stop and rest his knees were hurting. So Chris kept going he hadn't went very far when he heard a vehicle coming and it stopped and a man got out Chris started walking back toward the vehicle and he heard a man talking to 911 telling them that Donnie had been hit and he needed help. So Chris went running back to Donnie when he got there he seen Donnie laying on side of the road and seen that it was my brother and sister-in-law had hit Donnie and he was dead. When the law got there my sister-in-law tried to the the law that she was driving because she hadn't been drinking and that she was driving 35mph and they thought they had run over a bump in the road well the officer that answered the call didn't think her story matched what he seen. So he called the investigators and they came they found out that my brother was driving and speeding and they were having oral sex, it knocked Donnie 15ft from where they had hit him. They tried to say he was laying in the road but he wasn't not for the injuries he had. My sister-in-law told me the story that she had frist told the law. I found out later she was lying. My brother was 3x's over the limit. Missing Donnie
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Post by skyangel on Dec 8, 2008 16:42:55 GMT -5
I' so sorry for your loss and the circumstances that it came about.
I hope your brother and sister in law have shown some remorse for what happened.
Did the man who stopped and called 911 see the accident or had your brother driven off? Sorry am a bit confused here. It's very early in the morning and my baby kept me up all night (that's my excuse anyway!)
I hope you find some peace and comfort here as you work through everything.
Many hugs to you
Rachelle
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Post by blueyezs1959 on Dec 8, 2008 16:56:35 GMT -5
The man that went and called for help was my brother's friend and he was behind my brother in his vehicle. My brother told me he was sorry when he was in jail. only thing he wanted to know was when was his wife gonna get him out he spent maybe 1 night in jail. I had my son buried on my brother's bd that way he never will forget what he took away from our family. my sister-in-law lied to me and she still hasn't told me the truth about what really happened. I haven't talk to them sense the funeral. They are still riding around in the truck they hit my son in and my brother is still drinking and was drinking at the wake and funeral. blueyezs1959 Donnie's mom
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Post by drewsmom595 on Dec 8, 2008 18:47:04 GMT -5
I'm very sorry about the loss of your son. What a heartbreaking, tragic story. If you don't mind me asking, what has your brother been charged with? And how has this affected your relationship with him and your Mom?
My mentally ill brother shot and killed my Dad five years ago, and it has affected our entire family greatly. Relationships with some are very strained. I have a very complicated relationship with my brother now. It's way too difficult for me to put into words how hard and horrible the past five years have been...for all of us.
My heart goes out to you. Rest in peace, Donnie.
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Post by skyangel on Dec 8, 2008 19:26:52 GMT -5
Im so sorry Donnies Mom, thanks for adding the extra details.
Goodness you must be beyond angry with your brother. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. How completely disrepectful to you and your son to behave on that way at his funeral. How have the other familys members reacted to this? Sorry I just realised drewsmom asked the same kind of question.
Many hugs to you
My heart goes out to you...
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Dec 9, 2008 5:17:15 GMT -5
Im so sorry Donnies Mom, thanks for adding the extra details. Goodness you must be beyond angry with your brother. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. How completely disrepectful to you and your son to behave on that way at his funeral. How have the other familys members reacted to this? Sorry I just realised drewsmom asked the same kind of question. Many hugs to you My heart goes out to you... Dear blueyezs1959, I'm very sorry about Donnie. I agree 100% with skyangel. The way your brother acted was horrible! I'm a recovering alcoholic (have been sober a little over 9 years) and know how horrible people can be under the influence. I'm very glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. Take care.
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Post by blueyezs1959 on Dec 9, 2008 7:34:53 GMT -5
The relationship with my brother is very strained and it's hard on my family. I haven't seen or talked to my brother sense the funeral and his wife texted me 2 wks before Donnie's bd and asked how I was doing. Why wait 3 months to ask I never texted her back. My brother has been charged with Vehicular Homicide and other charges will be added my sister-in -law will possibly face charges also. My mother is very upset about this also she is angry and hurt with my brother my dad doesn't know what to do it made him sick he was the one who came to tell me what happen when he got to our home he couldn't so my boyfriend told me. To skyangel that is great to be sober for 9 yrs. I thank everyone for their kind words. What makes it hard to is my brother also has 5 children they are grown, but it still makes it hard. My brother and his wife still haven't told me what happen and what was going on I wouldn't know if the law hadn't told me.
blueyezs1959 Donnie' mom
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Post by blueyezs1959 on Dec 9, 2008 7:38:59 GMT -5
Sorry pumpkin12903 got you and skyangel mixed up sorry skyangel !
blueyezs1959
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Post by skyangel on Dec 9, 2008 17:09:05 GMT -5
That's okay blueezs, no problems at all.
I can imagine that your parents must be horrified with what he has done. I don't know, if I had done that to a neice or nephew, I wouldn't have the hide to face anyone if I wasn't full of remorse.
To wait 3 months and then only ask by text, well you'd have to assume either your sister in law feels awkward about approaching you, or she has another motive in mind. I hope not, I hope that it was only that she felt a bit uncomfortable, as well she should. How can you look a mother in the eye knowing that their child is dead directly as a result of a serious of poor decisions.
Pumpkin 9 years sober, that is a great achievement, you must be very proud!
Keep strong blueeys, I know it's easier said than done. Would it help maybe for you to post in here what your son was like etc?
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Post by blueyezs1959 on Dec 10, 2008 9:40:46 GMT -5
:'(My son Donnie was a strong will person, he loved fishing,hunting and racing. He also loved family get together He was born on Oct.24,1976 and was killed on 07-27-2008. Donnie looked out for his sister and me. His daddy passed away in 94 so he was very protective of us. He loved helping people couldn't stand to see anybody in need he would take the shirt off his on back if need be. That is what he was doing when he got killed going to get help. My nephew that was with him was also my brother's son-in-law and according to him and my brother neither knew that each other was at the creek. If I didn't see Donnie he would always call and say Hello Mother this is your son your one and only son haven't heard from you mother.This became a joke between us God I miss it. I miss him How can people disregard life so easily. I cry and cry but I know that it won't bring him back. It's like I'm in a daze and the days are just passing by. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I know I'm jumping from on thing to another I'm sorry. Thanks for the encouragement. blueyezs1959
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Post by skyangel on Dec 10, 2008 18:31:08 GMT -5
Oh blueeyzs, I'm so sorry he sounds a lovely man. You kind of made me smile about teh phone calles, I am one of five and you knwo how mothers always mix their childrens names up, well even when i was the only living at home my mum would STILL mix me up so whenever I wrote birthdays or called home I would always say" hi mum, this is Rachelle yoru only daughter still living at home!". Now she just mixes me up with everyone, the dog and my baby!
Talk away about him, he's not dead to you and you bring him to life for us, and if it makes you smile and feel proud as you write, that is a good thing, I am sure that's what he would want.
You're not jumping and the amount of stress and shock is enormous and perfectly normal. I wish there was something more to do to help you feel better.
Rachelle
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