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Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 17, 2017 21:26:36 GMT -5
Dear affliction, I'm very sorry about your dad. Welcome to the board and I hope you find some comfort here. Speaking of my experience only: I'm not fully healed, but am way better than I was. I know my life would be way worse now if I hadn't sought mental help. Please don't be hard on yourself for not being healed completely. Working on recovery takes a lot of effort. In my view, though, it's all worth it. I may not ever be completely healed, but it's a huge change for the better compared to my life at the time of the murders in my family. I'd rather be dead than be the person I was then. Even with how my post-traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder have worsened in the past few years through no fault of my own. Again, welcome to the board.
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Post by marie on Jul 31, 2017 17:38:00 GMT -5
I've read alittle about your dad - see my post on quadruple homicide....Its hard being a survivor I have PTSD also - i had to clean out the crime scene of personal items. The blood, smell, splatter on the walls, the place where stacked them - there was so much blood. the nightmares, visions, overthinking all have almost gone away. what is the worse for me was/is to see my loved ones that are living suffer. I have gone thru a handful of therapists. - you need to find one that deals with trauma and PTSD. If you found one and have not been able to move forward - find another. Medication has been able to help me. I fought it and lost that battle. The trial is in a month so ill try again after the holidays. I think of them everyday - when my thoughts turn dark - i have to make myself leave that place. Replace it with living, life in the here and now. Get up - shake it off, say a prayer, put music on, find something to make you smile. I play with my brother and SIL grandchildren and promise they will not feel the complete loss. For me, this is a positive thing I can do in an impossible reality. Your father would not want you to stop living. Find something to do - volunteer, hobbies, anything positive. It gets easier, it takes effort, practice and self control, but do it. I'm sure your father loved you - do it for him. It sounds trite - but if you believe in God - he is not suffering with his daily struggles and you will see him again. This is your journey, but journeys move forward. You have to consciously try. We will never heal. That's not an attainable goal. Learning to LIVE with this reality is. Our hearts are broken - but has they fill in, with love, courage and determination this will make us stronger. Attachments:
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