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Post by yvonne on Jun 30, 2004 18:06:44 GMT -5
hi my name is yvonne and i have been told to talk to some one about my problem my sister was murdered when i was 18 im 40 now it really hurt me i loved her so much and really miss her but i got thru it but she did leave a 2 year old boy behind ricky my mother whom was very abusive fought to get him and won i called children and families begged them not to do it but of course they would not listen to me i was just a 18 year old i told all my family that his life was over i knew he would not have a chance with her it hurt me to see him i tried proctecting him but could not be there 24-7 now he is 24 and started dating a 33 year old woman for 2 years he got drunk nite before super bowl and apparently raped her 9 year old daughter i do not know the whole story yet because it has not gone to trail but he killed her with a base ball bat and left her there for her 3 kids ages 9-10-11 to find her at first i hated him did not want anything to do with him then he got caught and called me i broke down because i relized i still love him he is my sisters child then started thinking of my sister and how i felt i knew everyone hated him i felt bad for him and everyone looks at me like i thought what he did was ok but i hate what he did but i just cant hate him he never had a mother or a father no brothers or sisters he was alone now i have gotten myself in this depression stage cry for no reason all i do is think of him and his girlfriend and her kids and my sister thinking if maybe i could have seen some signs i knew he was alone at least he thought i told him over and over you have me i have cut all ties with my mother who beat him locked him in rooms and more i hate children and families for giving him to her and ruining his life my sister has been dead for 22 years and i still think of her always he was a part of her i was trying to hold on to but now that is gone thanks for letting me unload yvonne in florida
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 1, 2004 15:44:25 GMT -5
Dear Yvonne, I'm so sorry for all you've been through. A terrible tragedy all around. I understand you don't hate your nephew but you don't like at all what he did. Please don't be hard on yourself for not hating him totally. And no one should judge you for not hating him completely, either. I still love my Mom. She murdered my Dad and Grandma in 1990. Of course I've felt hatred for her. I still feel anger, betrayal, fear, grief, which have all lessened over the years. But the love never died. I know now you can love and hate a person at different times. I felt mostly relief when Mom died. I can tell you that therapy saved my mind through all this. Maybe it would work for you. Also, support groups such as Parents of Murdered Children might be of help. I hope I don't sound preachy giving you this information, I just want you to know what helped me. You'll be in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to on e-mail, let me know. Take care-Laura
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Post by thanks laura on Jul 3, 2004 12:06:47 GMT -5
thank you so much i need to unload on someone i have been thru alot im trying to figure out if it is my sister im holding on to i have tried to help him but deep down i knew he was doomed but i have a family to think about and need to move on but i hate it when it builds up inside you never know what will happen like my nephew he had it really bad he had nothing i tried giving it to him but couldnt i need to move on thanks im triying i know i can do it i hope. von
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judy
Freshman
Posts: 29
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Post by judy on Jul 4, 2004 23:24:45 GMT -5
I am at a loss for words. Just hang in there Yvonne. Be good to yourself and God bless. I love your name. My sister Yvonne was killed by a drunk driver when she was 16, but no trial for him coz it killed him also in the head on collision. He was driving down the wrong side of the interstate. I was 18 and she was 16, so it was hard as we were very close. It was in 1972 and time helped me to deal with the loss.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 5, 2004 5:57:27 GMT -5
Dear Yvonne, you're welcome. I know how you feel about your nephew, the feeling of doom. My Mom would refuse to get help for her manic depression and had moods when she'd say no one loved her, etc. I tried to convince her and nothing would register. I don't know what it would have taken to reach her. I offered to find her a psychiatrist, give her a ride there, etc., and she wouldn't go. I see her life as very tragic in this way. There are wasted lives around us. I'm very glad that you're working to move on in your life. The fact that we're sane and want to do this proves that we've learned from our tragedies and don't want to repeat any of what's happened in our families. I'm glad you found this board. You and your family will be in my prayers, take care-Laura
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