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Post by HeavenlyAngels219 on Jul 3, 2004 12:53:09 GMT -5
Hello all. My name is Kelly. I don't know how to even start this off because it still feels like a shock to me. Feb. 19,2002 is the day my life changed forever. I was at the hospital, a friend,Misty,was having her baby. It was suppose to be a happy occassion. At 12 noon the phone rang. The nurses were in the room checking on Misty and she asked me to answer it. It was my mother. She said that I needed to get home as soon as I could."Something is wrong with Uncle Lynn." Her exact words. I asked what was wrong and all she would tell me was to get home.My older sister came to the hospital to get me. It was there that I found out just what was wrong with my uncle.He had killed his wife,Kelly, and their child,Chyanne.Chyanne was only 9 years old. I have a little sister that was the same age as Chyanne. Chyanne joined our family on April 16, 1992.Hope, my sister joined our family on May 17,1992. Even though we lived in a different state then my uncle and his family,Chyanne and Hope were very close. I helped take care of Chyanne from June 1992 till August 1992. I had went to visit them for the summer and wanted to help with Chyanne. My uncle was my mom's baby brother. He was in and out of jail for the first 12 years of my life.Then he met my Aunt Kelly. She was God's first gift to him. (Chyanne later took that title ) Aunt Kelly was a Sunday School teacher and my uncle was my Sunday School teacher while I was visiting them. Aunt Kelly had being a Sunday School teacher for 17 years. She was truly a wonderful woman. I don't know all that happened that day. All I know is that my uncle snapped and killed 2 of the most wonderful people in the world. He is in a Texas State Prison serving 2 Life Senteces for these crimes.One thing that I am thankful for is my Aunt Kelly's family.The McFarlins of Kaufman,Texas. They asked to not have the death penalty invovled. They said that the families had been dealt enough. There was no trail as he accpeted a plea bargin.He had already admitted to the crime and knew that nothing was going to change the final outcome. Life in prison.At time I feel like I hate him and other times all I can think about is the fact he is my uncle and NOTHING changes that.It is very hard for me to think of him as an animal as I am sure some people do, but I know what he was like before this ever happened. We are suppose to love like there is no tommorrow because there just might not be a tommorrow and I guess that is what I am doing. I know that they look down on us from heaven and are glad thst those who were able to forgive him and go and talk to Jesus and pray with him for those who can't.If by some way some how someone in my Aunt Kelly's family reads this there is one thing I want you to know.No I was not named after her ,we just happen to share the same name, but what an award was given to be. The HONOR of knowing that I share the name of a great woman, who I was able to know and love.I now work to be the best Kelly I can be and she showed me what that was. ..Sorry this is so long but I have not been able to find a support group in my area or thank GOD many people that have gone though what we have.Yet, I think about how many feel like I do ,as if they are all alone and there is nobody who can even begin to understand how you feel.
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judy
Freshman
Posts: 29
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Post by judy on Jul 4, 2004 23:13:29 GMT -5
How tragic. Yes they are watching over you now. Sometimes we wonder what makes a person snap like that and I do not have the answer to that. It just boggles the mind they were both sunday school teachers, my feeling is there was probably more trouble in the family than thought. I knew my ex husband had a temper and never ever dreamed he could rape and murder my daughter while I was in the hospital, but when I was seeing a phychologist he said that you can live with a person like that for many years and then without any warning just snap. I dont know the whys of that terrible night, but I do know that I have forgiven him as far as forgiveness goes, but I do expect the Justice that was handed down by the courts and that was death. God bless you, I dont get on much, but when I do I try to respond. you may email me anytime if you need someone to talk to.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 5, 2004 5:52:14 GMT -5
Dear HeavenlyAngels219, I'm so sorry for all that's happened to your family. I understand how you feel about your Uncle. My Mom murdered my Dad and Grandma. I had feelings of hate for her, believe me, but I also loved her and still do. She had manic depression and when she was in the "manic phases" was great. Other than that she was emotionally and verbally abusive. She had NO prior history of violence before what she did. She did refuse to get help for her mental illness, plus a lot of family members were in denial. Believe it or not, some still are. It makes me wonder what it takes for that to end. I did offer to take her to a psychiatrist, help her find 1 to go to, etc. and she refused. We can live with a person and not know how sick they are. I was living with her and my Dad when it happened. I wish so much if I could go back in time and get a psychiatry degree so I would have know how sick she was getting. I've had a lot of guilt and regret over this to resolve. With the help of therapy I've worked on resolving it. I'm VERY glad that forgiveness has been practiced in your family. Without it, we'll never recover fully. I agree with you that the victims are looking down on us. I felt my Dad's presence very strongly when I was in their place packing up my things. 1 of my brothers also felt it at the same time in another part of the world. I had to pray to forgive Mom, I couldn't do it on my own. I still have the feelings of anger and betrayal, but think this is normal. After what we've been through, we're blessed to have our sanity is what I think. The fact that we even want to forgive shows that we won't give up on life. I'm glad you found this board. If you ever need to talk let me know. Take care-Laura
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Post by HeavenlyAngels219 on Jul 15, 2004 10:46:44 GMT -5
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to you all but it is hard to deal with. I have my good days and my bad days. The one thing that I am thankful for is that my aunt's family did not want the DA to seek the death penalty. People think that the death penalty only afffects the murderer but it affects his/her family as well. I know that GOD will take care of my uncle all in due time. People don't understand unless they have been on this side of the coin that both families hyrt over murder and don't know what to do ....here I am ranting again so I will close for now....thank you for having this site and a place to talk. Kelly
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 20, 2004 18:05:10 GMT -5
Dear Kelly, I hope you're doing OK. I understand about the good and bad days. I have days when I think the worst about all. I wanted to say I agree with you about the issue of the death penalty having an effect on the family of the perpetrator. If my Mom had gone to trial, most likely it would have been a death penalty case. At that time in Texas it was automatically this kind of case if you killed 2 people, as she did. I remember all of the family that was there sitting around my brother's house 1 night for each of us to say if we could live with her getting death or not. I said I couldn't, but at the same time, I felt I could never have a relationship with her again with her outside of the mental hospital. I felt she needed to be in the hospital for the rest of her life, and that's what ended up happening. It was devastating for all. I agree with you that God is the ultimate judge. I'm thankful for that, as God will be a fair judge and He's the ultimate authority over us all. I noticed in 1 of your earlier posts you mentioned a support group. I've been thinking of an in person support group specifically for survivors of inter-family murder, as they have specific things to deal with, etc. Is this something that interests you also? I'm planning on doing a website, and if that gets interest, looking into forming an in person group. I'm working on speaking in front of people, as I'm not the best at this point to be honest. Please let me know if you're interested in that idea. I'm glad you've found this group and the support here. Take care-Laura
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Post by HeavenlyAngels219 on Jul 21, 2004 9:02:38 GMT -5
Thank you pumpkin...
I think that would be a great idea......I have a group set up on msn and sent the link to you in a IM....
TO THE OWNERS!!!!
May I post the link to the site on the board ?
Wanted to ask before I sent it on the main board...
If anyone would like a copy of the link just IM until I know if I can post it or not. Thanks Kelly
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