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Post by Angie on Oct 2, 2004 0:24:26 GMT -5
A week ago today, my father-in-law was convicted of murdering his wife, my mother-in-law. As I'm sure you guys can understand, typing out the whole story takes more energy than I have right now, but should you want some background, a news article is available at www.angieoneal.com/Graphics/trial.pdfMy question is this. Ever since Bill was arrested I've had no contact with him, though he's communicated with my husband via letters and the phone. I have no regrets, though I hate the idea that Bill might interpret my silence as indifference or complacency, when I feel quite the opposite. I'm disgusted by his actions and exhausted by the toll this has taken on me and my family. Over the past week I've worked on a letter to send him. I don't even want a response. I know he's being punished already (he got a life sentence) but... I don't know... I just so badly want him to understand (if that's even possible) how utterly horrible this has been on us.... What do you think? And what do you think of me saying I don't want a response? I guess he has the right to write back but if it's anything like what he said on the stand after being found guilty, I won't believe it and it will just make me angrier..... Thanks, all.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Oct 4, 2004 16:57:17 GMT -5
Dear Angie, I'm very sorry about all that's happened to you. It's a very devastating thing. I'm glad you found this board and I hope it helps you. If it were me, I would write the letter. I found in my own recovery of my trauma, to repress any of the emotions would have caused me to heal slower. I repressed with alcohol and no good came out of that. To not repress when I quit drinking didn't mean sharing it all with everyone. I did it when I felt it wouldn't harm others, etc. You don't even have to send the letter, just getting your emotions out will help you. Writing what you feel is a huge help and release. I don't feel it would be wrong if you send it to say you don't want contact. Considering what he's done to the whole family, I think that's very reasonable. I wrote some letters to the perpetrator in our case but didn't send them. But writing them was a tremendous help. My psychologist directed me to do this. I'm thankful I did. I hope this info will help you. Again, I'm glad you found this board and please let us know how you're doing. Take care-Laura
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