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Post by judi on Jun 16, 2005 2:35:35 GMT -5
It will be a year ago this month that my sister and niece were shot by my ex brother in law. My sister put up with years of his druken abuse and about a year after she divored him he broke into their house and shot my sister and their two kids. My nephew is the only one who survived. The murderer ran for several days before he was caught. The trial is finally coming up in a few months. My nephew now lives with my parents. It has been so hard to deal with this. I live in another state and only have my husbands family here. I was 2 weeks away from having my second son when my sister and niece were murdered, he was born 3 weeks after the funeral. It hurts that he will never know his aunt and cousin, my oldest son wasn't even 2 yet and had not seen them for several months and he is so young he won't remember them.
I was reading another post by LizM and your story is similar to mine. I cried while reading it.
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Post by mattsma on Jun 16, 2005 17:02:14 GMT -5
hi judi, I am sorry that you lost your loved ones. All of us here know how sad and empty those anniversary dates are. Try to remember all the happy times, and draw your strength from them. (((hugs)))))) b-safe deb
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Post by wordup on Jun 17, 2005 0:34:05 GMT -5
Hello Judi I'm with Mattsma on how we feel about your loss, and what you know that we can honstely say this, because we have been there and done that, we know about the good days and the bad days, and no matter what anybody says, this stuff can come back and hit you like a ton of bricks.
The good thing is, you do have happy memories to fall back on, as this is what I do, when things comes back at me. yet I always remember those here, who feel as I do, this make it easier to come and just say what I feel at the time I'm feeling it.
You should feel ok by coming as you have found Lizm, as you have said, you guys stories are similar, I suggest maybe if you feel up to it, getting with her, which is one thing I've found to be most helpful to me. This is one of the good thing about this board, all of us have a story, and we are all dealing with them in whatever ways that will help us. So if we can be of help to you in anyway, Just know we are here for you, Until the next time. Take care of yoursef and the little ones.
Oh by the way you said the trial is coming up soon, is there a date set yet? let us know, as we will be keeping you and your family in our prayers.
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Post by judi on Jun 17, 2005 10:20:57 GMT -5
The trial is scheduled for August 22. I wouldn't be to upset if they moved it forward a week or so because that day is mine and my other sisters birthday( I was born on her tenth b-day). She lives in a different state also and is planning on going to the trial. My sister and niece that are gone shared the same birthday also, Valentines Day. V-day is also my husband's birthday. That day is an emotional one, I think of my sis & niece and am sad but happy because of my husband. Thanks for your replies and prayers. Judi
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jun 18, 2005 9:07:10 GMT -5
Dear Judi, I'm very sorry about your sister and niece. Please keep up updated on the trial. I'm glad you found this site and hope you find some comfort here. Take care.
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Post by katie41160 on Jun 29, 2005 1:40:11 GMT -5
judy i am very sorry about your family i lost my mom and i know it does and after loosing my mom at the same time my sister lost her baby to the state and now i will never see him again he was 3 months old.. and the last time i talked to my mom it was about that baby boy.. i feel your pain keep us posted ""hugs"" katie
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Post by judi on Aug 28, 2005 22:24:49 GMT -5
update on trial
once again there has been another postponement of the trial. it's been moved to sept. 19. i am still planning on going to it. i've been having a real hard time dealing lately.
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Post by wordup on Aug 29, 2005 17:52:57 GMT -5
HI:jUDI SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE HAVING A HARD TIME, JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WE DO UNDERSTAND. I WISH I WAS THERE, TO JUST BE THERE FOR YOU. FOR THESE ARE STILL TRYING TIME, HOWEVER YOU SHOULD KNOW, I HAVE YOU IN MY PRAYERS. TAKE CARE
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Post by judi on Sept 12, 2005 18:59:03 GMT -5
update the trial is suppose to start next monday. i would greatly appreciate any thoughts and prayers in behalf of myself and my family. we all want to see him get his just punishment but it will be hard to see and hear all that we will.
judi
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Post by mattsma on Sept 13, 2005 15:17:56 GMT -5
hi judi, You and your family will surely be in my prayers. Don't forget to take care of yourself, next week will be very taxing on your emotional and physical resources. I know, easier said than done, but do try to be good to you. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) b-safe deb
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Post by puck1323 on Sept 14, 2005 2:47:45 GMT -5
Hi, I just went through something very similar. My sister's husband, an alcoholic, cocaine addict, broke into her home and kidnapped her while their three kids listened in the rooms across the hall. He had cut the phone lines so they were unable to call 911. Luckily when he went into their rooms they played like they were sleeping. He spared their lives. He did kill my sister and we went through three days before they found her. We were spared the murder trial as 14 months after killing her he plead guilty. Just two months ago I faced him in court during his sentencing hearing. My family went through months of trials, postponments, meetings with lawyers, etc. If there is anything you need to talk about feel free. I understand the frustrations. May the angels of God walk with you.
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Post by judi on Sept 26, 2005 20:38:27 GMT -5
I spent last week at the courthouse for the trial. Parker was found guilty for murdering my sister Freda and niece Rachel. He was given life without parole. We were hoping for the death penalty but we know life in prison won't be easy on him. I saw pictures of Rachel covered in blood, she was shot in the head 5 times. I heard the 911 call that Freda made, there was screaming and gun shots in the background, one final shot in Freda's head and then there was silence. It hurt to see and hear everything but I am glad I went. I feel like I know more of what happened and will be able to go on. I have had a terrible time dealing. If anyone is interested you can go to www.newschannel5.com and look up Parker Elliott, there are several streaming video you can watch. Thanks for all thoughts and prayers. judi
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Post by mattsma on Sept 27, 2005 15:32:53 GMT -5
hi judi, I am glad that you made it through the trial & yippee!! you are one of the lucky ones---- he got life--that's great. I am going to check out the link. b-safe deb
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Post by judi on Oct 3, 2005 23:47:55 GMT -5
Had a dream a couple nights ago. Freda and Rachel were alive and I was so happy I was crying and hugging them. Parker (the murderer) was in the dream also, he had changed and was no longer abusive but acting like the husband and father he should have been. Everything was ok. Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream. I was sad all day. I'm sure some of you have had those dreams, I've had too many. My husband was very understanding he has had them about his brother who took his own life years ago. It is such a let down to be so happy then wake up and reality hits.
judi
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Post by mattsma on Oct 4, 2005 9:19:31 GMT -5
:-/hi judi, I guess we all look at dreams in our own way. It is very upsetting to wake up and realize that "it was only a dream". I choose to believe if you loved ones are happy in a dream, it is their way of telling us they are ok. Since your dream also had a re-born parker in it, maybe it is because your sis and niece forgive him. Just my opinion.........................take care. b-safe deb
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Post by judi on Oct 18, 2005 5:50:01 GMT -5
Can't sleep. I got up with my husband when he went to work and then went back to bed. After tossing and turning for three hours I just got up. I keep seeing images in my head of Parker shooting Rachel in the head. Thinking about how she must have felt right before her father killed her. Thinking about Freda screaming when she saw Rachel laying lifeless on the bed, then being shot in the shoulder and then in the head. Looks like its going to be one of those tough days. I feel like crying but since being on Zoloft I hardly ever cry. Anyone else taken that and had the same effect? I mentioned this last time at the Dr. office and he said that was normal that if I wasn't crying then my emotions where under more control. I understand his point but I don't like feeling like I can't cry.
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Post by ginger on Oct 18, 2005 5:55:34 GMT -5
check your pm's
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Post by judi on Dec 12, 2005 12:36:44 GMT -5
Had another one of those dreams saturday night. My sister survived and I was so happy to see her I was crying and hugging her, then we had to tell her that Rachel didn't make it. I woke up and realized it was a dream and was upset all day. I was looking at pictures of Rachel when she was younger and starting crying. I miss them both so much. How could a parent kill their own child? He is such a cruel piece of trash. Rachel was going to register for college the day after she was murdered. She had talked about wanting to be a neurosurgeon. She was such a sweet, caring girl she would have made such a difference in the world. Her brother is doing better now that the trial is over. The poor kid has so much to overcome, being shot by his father and having his father kill his mother and sister. He has lost his family. We are a large family so he does have alot more family who love him. Just needing to vent a little. Thanks for listening.
Judi
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Post by mattsma on Dec 12, 2005 13:17:27 GMT -5
:'(hi judi, It does seem that this time of the year is extra hard on us. The holiday season is a time when we dwell on yesterdays, and missing the loved ones we have lost. I send you a big (((((((cyber hug)))))))) and hope that you feel better soon. Take care and b-safe. deb
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lilbird
Old Hand
Regular
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Post by lilbird on Dec 12, 2005 21:45:59 GMT -5
I am so sorry about what that @## did to your sister and niece and my heart goes out to your nephew. I could never fathom my own father betraying me in the way. Taking my mother from me, taking my sister from me and knowing that he meant for me to die also. What does that do to a child?!! He has a loooong road ahead of him! I'm rooting for him and i am praying for him. I know what you mean about those dreams. I use to have them about John and they would make me sad the rest of day. I guess they just reminded me of what i would never have with him and waking up just brought me back to reality...and our reality SUCKS!
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tree
First-time poster
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Post by tree on Dec 16, 2005 16:39:01 GMT -5
I have just entered this website and I hope that the trial is starting to happen. My sister and my nephew were murdered by my brother-in-law. The trial didn't happen, because the rest of the family let him plead. I just want to say that I hope every day gets a little better for you.
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lilbird
Old Hand
Regular
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Post by lilbird on Dec 18, 2005 0:36:53 GMT -5
tree, i'm sorry about your sister and your nephew. Are you her brother or sister? Welcome to the board, just sorry you have to be here. I hope you can find some comfort and understanding here.
lilbird
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Dec 18, 2005 1:15:41 GMT -5
Tree, I'm very sorry about your sister and nephew. If you don't mind my asking, how long is his sentence? I'm glad you found this board and please keep us updated. Take care.
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Post by judi on Dec 20, 2005 13:42:16 GMT -5
Hi Tree. Sounds like you are going through the same thing as me. I'm sorry you lost your sister and nephew. We didn't want a plea bargain and neither did the DA. The trial was in September and it's a relief that its over. I hope you will share your story when you are ready. Take care. Judi
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Post by Charlene on Dec 22, 2005 10:22:58 GMT -5
Hi Judi. I am so sorry about this awful crime. I was reading the news articles, and was wondering how Seth is recovering and how bad his injuries were. So often we don't realize how devastating the effects of being injured in a violent crime are. The article said he was shot four times! It is amazing that he survived and really is a living murder victim. However, I am sure that he will have problems from these injuries that will probably never fully go away. There is no way that the charge regarding Seth should have been reduced to second-degree attempted murder by that jury, and it is also incredible that they did not think this heinous crime merited a death sentence.
Charlene
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Post by judi on Dec 23, 2005 13:53:33 GMT -5
Hi Charlene. We all thought the charge shouldn't have been reduced either. We are very lucky to still have Seth with us, his doctor said at trial that where Seth was shot a person has only a 20% chance to survive, he was shot there 3 times. The other shot was in his foot. One bullet hit his jaw and skimmed along just under the skin and exited out the back of his neck. Another hit his shoulder damaging a nerve and caused him to lose movement of his arm. He has since regained full motion of that arm. The other bullet went through the aluminum ball bat he was holding and into his side. The bat kept it from hitting his lung. He still has 3 bullets in him, doctors said it would be dangerous to remove them, he also has bullet fragments in his jaw. Physically his is doing good. The jury was hung on the death sentence for Parker, 11 members for it and 1 against it so they agreed on life without parole. His lawyers kept talking about his mental capacity but my family all know how his nature is, he is just plain mean.
Thanks for reading the info about what happened. It helps to know that others care.
Judi
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Post by Charlene on Dec 24, 2005 13:46:24 GMT -5
It's cases like this that convince me that Florida does it the right way. Florida and some other states require at least 10 jurors to recommend a death sentence - it does not have to be unanimous. This helps to avoid the issue of jury nullification, which is probably what happened in your case. There was one juror who probably knew before s/he even got on the jury that they would not give a death sentence no matter what. There are even web sites that encourage and educate anti-death penalty folks about how to lie to get on juries so they can prevent death sentences on an individual basis.
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Post by judi on Jan 29, 2006 16:05:23 GMT -5
I would like to ask for thoughts and prayers on behalf of my family. My 16 year old stepdaughter died in a car accident on thursday. I feel so helpless I know first hand what this does a family and I wish I could take away the pain. The funeral is tomorrow.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jan 29, 2006 17:46:58 GMT -5
Dear Judi, I'm very sorry about your stepdaughter. You and your family will be in my prayers. My condolences to you and your family. Take care.
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Post by judi on Feb 23, 2006 21:05:53 GMT -5
It's been tough the last few weeks, I haven't been here for a bit. Hope to make a longer post soon, things are a mess right now. Unbelievable how my stepdaughter's mom is being.
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