toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on May 9, 2006 19:14:35 GMT -5
Well,Alot of times when I post on here I feel very self-centered, because I know that you guys are all in pain also........oxoxoxox But Im thinkin about Mothers day...My two boys Love me I know they do,.. But it was always Jess that remembered. Just a charm for my bracelet or a fish for my aquarium, ......its gonna be tough for us all I know a few of you lost your Mothers and It must be alotta the same thoughts.... Please ,forgive me for sounding "boo- Hoo ey" but Im thinking of all my friends in here as well.....thank you for your support..........oxoxoxoxo toni
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on May 9, 2006 19:16:01 GMT -5
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'." I'm whispering "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak And need His strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed And need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow
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Post by drewsmom595 on May 10, 2006 6:01:25 GMT -5
Toniann:
A BIG hug to you and to all who lost children or their mother's. Mother's day is going to be hard, no question. But I know you'll do your best to enjoy the day with your other children. Jess is still with you.
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on May 10, 2006 6:38:45 GMT -5
ty drewsmom a good mornin too you hey! each day is another day we didnt self destruct!!!! hope its a wonderful one 4 you oxoxoxoxoxoxo toni
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Post by denise on May 10, 2006 22:22:12 GMT -5
How will I help Leah's Mom get through mother's day without her daughter. Her murder is still very fresh. She does have one other child but i know it will be a terrible miserbral day for her. I want to help her as much as I can. If it was my son Denver I know I would be in a mental institution. I want to do everything i can for her to help her. Any suggestions? ?
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Post by drewsmom595 on May 11, 2006 5:10:32 GMT -5
Let her know that you're there for her and offer to help her in any way she needs that day. For example, does she want some company that day? Does she want you to take her other child to the movies for a few hours that day so she can grieve openly without worrying about upsetting her other child? Keep in touch with her not only on mother's day, but other days as well. After my Dad's murder, I had a lot of support during the first month or so. And then everyone went back to their normal life.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on May 11, 2006 18:48:31 GMT -5
I agree with Drewsmom. I think your caring towards Leah's Mom is great. Toniann, THANK YOU for the poem! It's beautiful and true! And thank you for thinking of those on here for Mother's Day. I don't know fully why, but this year it's hitting me so hard. I miss her. I miss the Mother that could be good and caring, the 1 who always encouraged me to read, got me in childrens' book clubs, told us to achieve when going to college, and taught me about movies. She sat with me through several Charlie Chaplin movies, and she wasn't a fan of his, but cared enough to do this. I'm thankful I got to see all his feature length movies on the big screen, as I was and still am a huge fan. Her and I would go to the theatre almost every week. I treasure those times, as I learned about the lives/work of the actors/actresses from her. She wasn't always abusive. She could be great at times. Most of the time when we went to the theatre she didn't start a fight during those years. The worst came a few years after that. She never forgot a birthday in the family, and everyone's birthday was treated the same. She would cook whatever you wanted, including dessert. She taught me manners also, along with my Dad. We went Christmas shopping every year. Then with those images comes the 1 of seeing her at the arraignment. She had the manner and look of a scared little girl. I could tell she was ashamed. I remember saying in my mind why is this happening? Why did she do this? I know I'm going on and on, but can't help it. This Sunday I'm kind of dreading. I just don't know all the reasons it's hitting so hard this year, but it is. I won't apologize for loving her along with Dad and Grandma. This doesn't mean I don't hate what she did to them. I'm thinking of them, too, as they were always at the holidays, and always remembered everyones' birthdays, etc., too. Thanks for listening.
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Post by wordup on May 11, 2006 23:28:22 GMT -5
Yes I think that is what you can do, just be there for her in the way she may needs you to be, and I feel that if you are there that would make her feel the love from you. also I agree with what the others has said too, so with all of this said I know you will get through this with her. And to you Pumpkin it is your mom and you don't have anything to apologize for, and I understand what you are saying and feeling, I will pray your strenght as you get through this days ahead, Take care, all of you.
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toniann
Regular
Just a lil redneck
Posts: 384
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Post by toniann on May 13, 2006 9:16:19 GMT -5
Pumpkin, you are fotunate to have such wonderful memories of your Mother.Hang on to them and think of them often.....perhaps they will some day erase the bad ones. i completly understand.i had to put jessica in drug a treatment facility and those were some dark days for both of us.When I start thinking of the horrible times we endured I force the memories out with all the wondrful times.Dwelling on the bad ones is futile it does no good. Hang in there and take care of youself. I sometimes forget to eat and stuff because Im so sad. Dont let yourself down...oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 7, 2006 11:40:33 GMT -5
Thanks, Wordup and toniann, for your support! Take care.
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