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Post by gladriel on Mar 13, 2007 18:59:38 GMT -5
Thanks to everyone who has either read or replied to my posting. I truly do appreciate it! Here it is March 13 again...you know sometimes I believe that Iam the only person that still grieves my fathers death. Its like everyone has moved on and March 13th is just another day to them. I can't for the life of me figure out why at least my mother wouldn't call to see how I'm doing we weren't close per say but still. Maybe I feel this way because I witnessed his murder, I don't really know. I want to remember him because I was only 17 when he was murdered and the youngest in the family, they had more years with him, more memories but thats the way it is I guess. So here I sit talking with you, friends that understand and that I am truly grateful for. If it wasn't for you I would be alone with my thoughts today with no where to go. Some biological family I have not even a phone call...thats okay though let them live in their own world and I'll live in mine. I just want this day to be over......thanks again to all of you for listening. Gladriel
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Post by mattsma on Mar 14, 2007 9:10:32 GMT -5
We will always be here for you Gladriel. Those aniversary dates can be the worst days to get through alone. (((((hugs to you))))) take care & b-safe, deb
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Post by wordup on Mar 14, 2007 21:19:23 GMT -5
Yes Deb is right, and you know you are not alone. we are in the same boat with you, I was saying something on another post, and I can tell you, just when you think things are going alone ok, up pop a memeory that can effect you as if it was the day when you first heard the news. But just know we are here for you, and I know you will be here for us, Take care.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Mar 15, 2007 11:19:11 GMT -5
Hi Gladriel:
I'm sorry I missed your post the other day. I hope today is a better day for you. It's really hard when the whole world seems to move on with their lives and we're stuck with this horrible pain in our hearts. I'm sorry you don't have more support from your family...I know exactly how that feels. Take care.
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Post by taterfay on Mar 16, 2007 3:38:40 GMT -5
I'm sorry I missed the post, too. March 13th is also hard for me. It was my mom's birthday and she died last September from cancer. I know it isn't quite the same thing at all, but it's still hard. If my sister had never been murdered I do believe my mom would still be alive today and would not have given up hope, etc. Hope today is a better day for you! Hugs, Stacey
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Post by gladriel on Mar 16, 2007 12:22:09 GMT -5
Hi everybody, All you on this board have seriously help me, its the one place I can express my feeling without someone thinking I need to get over this. I feel bad for everyone here as they too have lost a loved one I think about your stories and I wish I could take your pain away if only we could do that for one another though talking about it sure helps. Still so many things I don't understand, why is it that our justice system lets these murderers out of jail to walk free and make fun of our pain and loss? Laugh right in our faces with their loved ones with hand gestures like a gun and then walk away...why? Then the justice system wonders why us a sane people can get pushed over the edge. And why does everyone forget and go on as if our loved one never even existed...I can't understand that either. And why is it that some of us are stuck in this pain to me it's like there isn't closure it there ever can be....why won't our minds let us forget and move on like other people? Why are we different? I was thinking only thinking about writing a letter to Viola Leblanc the woman who murdered my father and letting her know how I feel, though I know that the letter will be passed around her family to be read by everyone and I'm sure a few good laughs will be had at my expense, but will that give me some closure? Or will she think aha...she still hurting from this and feel good about that? Any thoughts on this from my friends on here would be greatly appreciated. Have anyone of you wrote a letter to your loved ones murdererer? If so how did it turn out did you feel any better after it? Did it help at all? Sometimes I think that this will only leave me when I die, I'm glad my children don't have this burden to carry as they never got to meet their grandpa. So it will die with me! You know what else hurts this march 13th my husband didn't even mention my dad not a peep and I didn't say anything to him, to me he's like everyone else now just get over it and or forget about it....which I can tell you all I have tried but I can't or maybe I don't want to...why forget I want to remember everything I can about him. Though thru family members they want to tell me all the skeltons he had in his closet, what they remember some of the not so nice stuff...why do they do that? Do they think that by telling me this stuff I will forget him, be mad I don't really understand that either.Anyways, again thanks for listening....if I can help anyone here with my story or with anything pls let me know. For now I will perservere and put on my plastic smile. Gladriel
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Post by wordup on Mar 16, 2007 23:57:35 GMT -5
Everything you have said make sense, and I think it is all apart of what we are going through, I think some where in the course of time we all have asked, wondered such questions as you, Not really ever getting the answers to them.
About the letter writing it goes with it too, even if you never persue it, I have intercepted on two occacion letters written by the guy to my daughter, she could not read them, I have them here with me now, I wanted to response to them, but never did, not saying I will never, I just didn't. So I don't know and have not heard anyone else here say that they had. or I don't remember.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Mar 18, 2007 7:27:53 GMT -5
Dear Gladriel, all of the birthdays and sadiversaries are so hard to get through. I'm sorry I'm responding to you a little late. Most of my family don't contact each other on these days. I hate it like you do. I do certain things on these days, like make sure to get out of the house and do something special, etc. My fiance has the anniversary of the murders marked and so he and I are together on that day as best as we can be, etc. Your love will never die and that's wonderful. I'd rather do things on the birthdays and sadiversary than NOT. To me to NOT do things is WRONG. We'll never be the same and we'll missed our loved 1's and/or friends EVERY day for the rest of our lives! And I don't see that as completely negative! As far as writing the perpetrator, I did do that a little. She was a family member. I sent a few things but nothing talking about what happened. She never wrote back. However, my psychologist said it would help me to write her about the murders but not send it. I did that and it DID help some. I felt less of the anger, etc., after that. I say do what you feel you need to do. Don't let people pressure you! As far as our "justice" system goes, there's a lot wrong. I think people keep working on it things can change. If we don't try we'll never know. There's groups such as Parents of Murdered Children that are wonderful that are working to better things, such as doing parole protest petitions, etc. But, still, so many cases there's not enough justice and it's just plain wrong. But, we can keep trying and doing what we can with the time we have. Know that we'll always be here for you and I'm glad we help each other. Take care.
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