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Post by drewsmom595 on May 26, 2007 18:41:26 GMT -5
After my Dad's murder, I really was sent for a tailspin. It made me re-examine my life and where I was headed. Life seemed so short and so precarious. I realized how stupid I had been by taking people I loved for granted. Suddenly, staying in a job that I hated just because the money was good just didn't seem worth it any more.
What are the good and bad things that have happened to you since the murder of your loved one?
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Post by wordup on May 28, 2007 4:18:00 GMT -5
Oh I can tell you, it seemed like my whole world failed apart. they took my other grandson and placed him in foster care, had to work so hard to get him out, I lost my Job, my so called friends left me, my family(most of them) went on about their way, door after door kept closing in my face, I reached an all time high on my weight, and struggle to keep my sanity, I'm better today, and I'm working on myself inspite of all that I have lost. I'm not angry anymore about the closing of the doors, the so calls friends and family, because I have learned a great deal from all of what I had to go through, I realize I will have to take all of it, and use it to better myself, I hope this makes sense. Take care.
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Post by drewsmom595 on May 28, 2007 5:13:30 GMT -5
Hi Wordup:
Yes, what you wrote makes perfect sense. It sounds like you have a lot of bad things happen to you, but it hasn't got you down. And you've learned a great deal about yourself and life in the process.
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Post by taterfay on May 28, 2007 7:23:46 GMT -5
This is such a GREAT question...I might have to think about it later and answer it again. It REALLY has made me realize that this could always be my last day on earth and I need to live in the NOW as much as possible. It has made me realize how important the people I love in this world really are. I has made me realize how incredibly STRONG I really am, though I do not always feel that way. The bad things are just not being able to comprehend human nature. I just do not understand the nature of violent people..I really don't. The other bad thing is since I lost mom and Sarah in such a short time, I still am in a tailspin sometimes and I feel like an orphan and I feel very lonely, but all of that is to be expected. I realize I want to do something with my life that helps others in some way..I just haven't figured out what that should be exactly. I realize that LOVE is the only true and pure thing in this world and I want to give it to as many people as I can, and of course I want to be loved in return...(hee hee..guess I am sort of a hippie!) More later...this is a great subject!! Thanks! Love, Stacey
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Post by carolyn on Jul 1, 2007 18:15:46 GMT -5
Well I stopped or do not have the motivation or desire to do a lot of things anymore.
It will be 2 years in sept. and I still just take it one day at a time.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Jul 3, 2007 5:28:46 GMT -5
Hey carolyn:
I've been there too. We've all been there. I can remember days when I just went through the motions like a robot. I felt dead on the inside. I don't know how, perhaps it was the kindness of others, but somehow a realization came over me that I was still alive, and I didn't want to live my life like this anymore...like a sad, depressed, angry zombie. And I was sure that my Dad wouldn't want me to destroy the rest of my life either. But I wasn't sure how to go about changing my life either.
I'm pretty lucky in that three months before he was murdered, his own mother died and I got to talk with him about how upset I'd be if he ever died. In fact, I told him I would be destroyed. He looked at me and he said, "That would be the last thing I would want for you. You've got to go on and live your life to the fullest."
It's really not easy at all. For me, changing my life started with changing my attitude. Some days I struggle to find one positive thing going on in my life. And some days it practically kills me to get out of bed and go to work. But somehow I do.
Some days are much easier than others. I'm hoping that your days will get much easier as well. I haven't lost a child, so I don't know quite how that feels. But I think having your father murdered by your own twin brother comes pretty close. I lost two of the people that I loved most in this world in one day. I really can't bear to lose any more. Losing people you love is really, really hard.
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Post by kirsten on Sept 6, 2007 18:50:32 GMT -5
I too felt like I was taking those I loved for granted. The horrible thing about having a family member murdered compared to those who die of something like cancer is that you never got that good bye, or you could have said "I love you" one more time. After my mom's death I started telling everyone who ment something to me that I loved them. I also decieded to live my life on my own and do what makes me happy not what other people believed I should do. Another sort of random way I changed is that I speak up a little more. Im not so shy anymore because I dont have time to be. You never know what moment is going to be your last, so I would rather die having lived my life to its full potential then waiting around for things to happen to me.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Sept 7, 2007 4:46:36 GMT -5
Kirsten:
It sounds like you've made some significant positive changes in your life and the way you view life.
I started this thread because sometimes it's easy to just focus on all the negative things that have happened to you since the murder and how we've been dealt a raw deal.
But, eternal optimist that I am, I truly believe that there are usually positive lessons that we can pull away from really negative experiences.
I think the positive changes you've made in your life would make your Mom really proud of you. Take care!!!!
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