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Post by acavana on Jun 5, 2007 21:35:23 GMT -5
I am so sad today. There is no anniversary, nothing of importance. I am just so so sad. I miss my best friend, my sister, my buddy. I need her right now. RIGHT NOW. I feel like no one understands that on any day for any or no reason I can just be sad. It's not fair... I shouldn't have to feel this way. The trial is order and we won... but what is winning in the whole of it all. I know that I am the closest one to her, but it still hurts to see everyone just move on and seem to feel better. I miss Michelle so much, I miss her four daughters, who are my godchildren that the state took away, and I'm tired. Tired of fighting with state agencies that judge us for knowing "him" that judge us for "letting her be that way". They don't understand, they don't know. I just want to curl up in a corner and scream.... and maybe I will, because I can, and it's OK to feel this way even after 15 months... 15 months doesn't erase 19 years with my buddy. Thank you all for listing...
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Post by wordup on Jun 5, 2007 23:12:45 GMT -5
HI acavana, I'm sorry that you are having a rough day, and want you to know that I understand it, it has been three years since our loss and I still have those moments like you are having right now, I also know about struggling with the state trying to make thing right for the children(family) and what it is to jump through hoops trying to prove myself being fit enought to raise my grandson, Oh these things can be over bearing sometime, they will make you scream, and sometime you just one to be left alone. Hang in there tho, you have us , we are here for you in times such as these. take care.
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Post by taterfay on Jun 7, 2007 13:56:42 GMT -5
I was sad today, too! Thinking also about my sister (and my mom) being gone forever. It is so freakin' unfair. Sometimes screaming actually does some good (as does shredding paper for me)..Oh, how I wish I could take away your pain, but I know I cannot. I am also so sorry that you cannot see your nieces, at least I have that comfort. I am thinking of you!! Big Hugs! Stacey
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Post by carolyn on Jun 8, 2007 11:53:07 GMT -5
I am so sorry you are sad as I am. It does not have to be an anniversary, birthday or anything. It is just everyday missing our beloved and just not being able to call them to go shopping wih them, have lunch nothing it has all just stopped b ecause of a senseless murder. For me it has not gotten better as they say. I just more or less have to suffer and grieve alone because people just dont want to hear it or just want me to move on so for them I secretly move on.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Jun 18, 2007 5:28:01 GMT -5
Hi:
It's probably not much comfort, but we're all in the same boat as you. We've all been there, and know how you're feeling. Feeling sad is, unfortunately, normal. It's a struggle sometimes to find joy, but I hope that you will find it. I'm sure your friend would want you to remember her with laughter sometimes, too. Take care, and let me know how you're doing.
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Post by acavana on Jun 20, 2007 20:54:22 GMT -5
Thank you all for your responses... I know that you all understand the "roller coaster of grief".... and what a ride it can be.... Sometimes, its such a relief to sit, cry and post... it really makes me feel better. Thank you all again!
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Post by wordup on Jun 21, 2007 22:28:17 GMT -5
Yeah you are right acavana, I know this board has been a major asset to me, as I go from one day to the next, Take care.
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