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Post by friends4ever on Jul 7, 2008 2:03:33 GMT -5
It's been 12 1/2 years since Steve killed Becky I always hoped that somehow I could make a difference in someone else's life telling her story and last year I finally had the opportunity. I feel now as if her death was not for nothing....
I play World of Warcraft with my kids and through this game I met a woman who was a bit withdrawn and I could tell that she just needed to talk. After about 6 months of playing we got into a conversation about her husband, and to my horror, I realized she and her children had been being abused. I told her about Becky and how I had found her, I let her know that most people thought they had a perfect marriage until his arrest.
My son who had just turned 15 y/o asked her to go to my myspace page and read my blog about Becky, in addition to talking about Becky I had posted about the warning signs of an abusive relationship and the number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Within 1 month she had moved her 4 children halfway across the US and filed for divorce. Things got pretty bad and another of her friends who helped her was threatened and she was as well. After the divorce and during the custody phase her ex had the kids for a month in the summer, during that time he hit the kids and told them that if they didn't stay with him he would kill himself.... 2 weeks ago the judge gave her full custoday and he has absolutely no visitation rights and she called me to let me know that she feels that I saved her life.
I miss Becky so much, but I am glad that I could use her story to save someone else.
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Post by taterfay on Jul 7, 2008 13:13:40 GMT -5
that makes me SOOO Happy!! One of my goals in life since my sister became a victim of domestic violence is to try to help ANYBODY in that situation. I'm so proud of you! Most people think to themselves "well..it isn't my business and therefore I shouldn't get involved." and they turn their backs OR they don't understand the whole traumatic bonding issue and so they tell the abused "I can't support you UNLESS you leave your abuser" (which doesn't help anything) and then the abused is even more isolated than before because people make judgments about them.
My husband's cousin is currently in a very abusive relationship. I don't know her at all but I know her sister a little bit and just a few days ago I talked to her on the phone for a long time about how she can support her sister and directed her to call a domestic violence hotline so that SHE could get some help on how to continue talking to her sister. It made me feel good to be able to help in any way I can. I do it all for Sarah.
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Post by denise on Jul 7, 2008 22:41:31 GMT -5
Good job. Way to go.
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Post by drewsmom595 on Jul 10, 2008 5:22:51 GMT -5
What wonderful news...you and your son should be very proud of yourselves.
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Post by friends4ever on Jul 18, 2008 0:37:07 GMT -5
I sometimes had wondered if things were as bad as she said, after all I have never met her. In the past 2 weeks I have seen how her ex is through his actions on Myspace and am now very relieved that she and her children are awayfrom this man!!!
He actually started using an application where you can "buy friends" to start bullying and taunting my boys who he had no clue who they were, my oldest son (17) got a bit rude afterr Kevin, yes that is his name, bought all of his friends and left taunting remarks, (My son told him he would fly to Montana and kick his ass.). Then Kevin started messing with my youngest son (15) so I got involved, I bought Kevin and changed his status message to " Kevin needs to act like a man and quit F'ing with other people's children" I received a message I shall share with you.
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----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ..Kevin.. Date: Jul 15, 2008 5:59 AM
Let me just say, that MJ and Chelsea ARE my kids!!!!
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ..Melinda.. Date: Jul 15, 2008 8:54 AM
I know they are, but you are messing with MY kids
----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: ..Kevin.. Date: Jul 15, 2008 12:03 PM
Actually that is not true. Your kids jumped into the middle of this own your friends game between Kevin and his kids and started saying some very filthy things to Kevin. All that he has done is try to get them to leave well enough alone and mind thier own buisness. I am sure that you have not been made aware of the types of things your kids were writing. And as a mother myself I can certainly understand your concern, I would be to if I thaught something was amiss. You have every right to defend your kids if that was what was needed. However that is not what has happened here. I am sorry if you were worried, but Kevin did not start this, nor would he ever knowingly harm any one's kids. This is a dumb computer game that has gotten out of hand. Kevin is a good guy who loves his kids and was just trying to do this game with his kids as something they could all particapate in. My name is Robin and I am Kevin's girlfriend. I am not writing this with the intent to upset you, I can see you are a good mom. Thank you for reading this, Robin
Thank you for your reply Robin, I was actually replying to Kevin though. i am not upset with your comments but Kevin's way of messing with my kids. You are right this is a "a dumb computer game that has gotten out of hand" and the reason it did get out of hand is because Kevin made it so.
Thank you for saying I am "good" mom, because I am the best mother I can be and I will fiercly protect my children. Apparently you have not read the things Kevin himself wrote on my son's RL friends comments where he kept taunting my boys. I am very aware of my older son's responses and while I talked to him about the language used I feel he was very justified with what I saw Kevin write.
I think this is just a very sad case of Kevin being bitter about his curcumstances and creating his own *deleted* that will make his children dislike him for messing with their friends, whether RL friends or onine friends.
My next step, if his harrassment does not stop is to go to the authorities and file an online harrassment charge. I am not sure if you are aware but there is now a law against internet bullying all because of another adult who harrassed a CHILD and she commited suicide.
I am done with this conversation and would like Kevin to stop his harrassment of my children.
Thank you!
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so in reply to you Drewsmom, yes I am proud!
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Post by drewsmom595 on Jul 19, 2008 7:07:18 GMT -5
WOW! Kevin is actually a bigger creep than I ever imagined. I hope the online harrassment of your children has stopped now.
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