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Post by shelly1 on Apr 7, 2009 14:20:50 GMT -5
Even though I know I am not alone, when something like this happens to you, you feel like you are the only one in the world that has ever gone through this. It has been a long hard 6 yrs. since the murder of my son by his brother, and everyday that I live is a testament to the mercy of God. I have been thinking about starting a traveling support group for families of crimes such as this. What I don't know is if this is something that people in that situation might want. My pastor hooked me up with another lady who had lost her son and daughter horrifically 3 months before my tragedy. We talked for 2 hours the night before my son's funeral. We thought that it helped us tremendously to be able to share feelings that we thought nobody else who hadn't experienced such deep pain could understand. Here recently, there has been multiple mass killings in the media. It's happening all over the U.S. More and more people are experiencing this unimaginable pain. That's why I think my idea is not only a good one, but an important one. Does anybody out there think that a team of supporters coming to console families who can relate to this type of pain is a good idea? Please let me know. For all those who are on this site, I pray that God gives you the strength to carry on for those who have left us. Let us help to heal each other's hearts and minds for the sake of all children, family and friends who see nothing but darkness and don't where to go. It is my belief that people in this kind of pain need special care and I would love to be one of the people who can help in such a difficult time. I want to do this because I believe that it helps me as well. God bless you all!
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Apr 7, 2009 14:36:54 GMT -5
Dear shelly1, I'm very sorry about your Son. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. I think it's a WONDERFUL idea about the traveling support group! ESPECIALLY for inter-family MVS! We have specific issues to deal with that other MVS don't. Of course, all MVS have a few things in common, but inter-family MVS we have some things that we don't share with MVS who have different types of cases than inter-family. I know 1st hand how others can help us heal! I was very blessed to have a Parents of Murdered Children meeting in the city I lived in when the murders in my family happened. They were a HUGE help, to say the least. Speaking of support groups, 1 of my goals is to (at least) start 1 specifically for inter-family MVS. Unfortunately, other things in my life have delayed this goal. But, it's a goal I won't give up on, EVER! I can tell you that people NEED groups badly! Parents of Murdered Children is a wonderful group, but, unfortunately, not every city has a meeting. This is 1 reason the traveling aspect of the group you're talking about is great! I'd be glad to help you with your group. However, my time is limited at this point (I'm back in school), BUT that doesn't mean I can't help at all! In other words, I'd be glad to help with what time I can spare. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Apr 7, 2009 14:39:43 GMT -5
Dear Shelly, I am so very sorry for your loss of your son, and for all your family has had to bear. My heart goes out to you. I know that I felt quite alone for a long time before I found a support group where I could go talk to others who knew how it felt too. That helped me as much as anything could. Is there a Victims Assistance office of some type in your area? Do you think if you talked with them about your idea, they might give people your names, in case they did want someone to talk to? I remember that the Victims Assistance gave us a list of resources and contacts after my daughter was murdered. Perhaps that could help you get started on your idea? What a good heart you have, even after so much pain of your own. I am glad you are here to share with us, and hope you get to carry out your plan as well. I know that feeling as if we might have made some difference can help so very much. You are right. My husband says he thinks going and talking to the juvies has helped me more than anything else has. Since this is what your heart desires, I hope so very much that you get to do this.
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Post by shelly1 on Apr 7, 2009 15:11:53 GMT -5
Thank you so much Janet-Beth's mom and Pumpkin. I knew I was on the right site and appreciate your encouragement.
I am unemployed right now and going through so pretty rough times, so I am unable to make my dream a reality yet. I, also am using this time to finish my degree at DeVry Univ. where I am on the Dean's list. I don't have ambitions about graduating from school at this age in my life (I was 51 on March 31st) and helping some corporation to be rich. Been there, done that. My goal is to use my knowledge to help someone else. My degree will be in Business with a Human Resources concentration. I wanted to change my degree to reflect counseling, but since I plan on running a business, I decided to stay put. I have someone who is waiting in the wings to develop my website for me. I am also looking to ask the SBA for a loan to get this started. I no longer have visions of making money since I only view money as a means of support. I used to travel, but haven't since my son's death. I also got married to a man on the internet which didn't pan out. These things I attributed to my idle state of mind after the tragedy. Now that I have set a new course for my life, I am more determined than ever to make this happen. Please pray for me as I will for you.
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