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Post by c21king2queen on Feb 25, 2010 16:18:40 GMT -5
Someone told me recently that you have to forgive or it will eat you up!! I told her that I can forgive a lot of things, but there are certain things that I cannot forgive!! I can learn to forgive when all those responsible and involved in my husband's murder are convicted and sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of ever getting out and when all those responsible and involved in the cruel, sick, twisted, and illegal games they have played with my son and I since my husband's murder are held accountable, responsible, sentenced for their crimes and admit and apologize publicly!! I am waiting for God to perform those miracles and move those Mountains!!
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Post by anakahashi008 on Dec 24, 2010 13:13:12 GMT -5
I don't think there is any way for me personally to forgive the men who killed my friends. Not today, (3 yrs later) or 30 years from now. There was no reason to kill them... No reason to forgive the murderers. It does not give me peace to think "if I just let go it will be okay." It's the same no matter how I feel about it. The facts do not change.
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Post by kandysue on Dec 24, 2010 23:26:06 GMT -5
this subject has sure given me alot to think about... thankyou all for the honest and heartfelt writing here. My ex-husband murdered the man I loved. I felt as if I had to forgive him because it was all my fault he did what he did. Thank God He woke me up, I know it isnt my fault! But, I still feel that if I do not forgive him I will not be forgiven. There is that part of me that does not want to even think about forgiveness... after all he has done to many of us who am I to say I forgive him. Then there is the who am I not to forgive him. I really need to read more on this one. My heart burns on this subject. and like many, I am tired of giving that beast of a human and more of the minutes in my day by thinking of him. Prayers for better understanding please. God Bless each of you...
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Post by insideout on Jun 3, 2011 9:12:59 GMT -5
this is an old thread for sure but still relevent. My mom mentioned something to me the other day about forgiving the murderer. The thing is. I know its bad and my parents have always taught me forgiveness is the greatest thing you can do. I really want to forgive him, i just cant find it in me. My reply to her was that i dont hold as much hatred towards the man as i did a few years ago. because i do not think that is useful for anybody in the slightest. But i havnt forgiven him. Not by a long shot. For me, the two are seperate. For what he put me though, i dont think i ever will be able to forgive him. He robbed me of much more than my best friend. he also shattered my confidence in people as a general thing. I cant trust people are not going to hurt me, because of what he did to her. I will never forgive him for what he did, and what he took from me and the rest of her friends. He essentially took away our childhoods really. Some of my other friends have this sense that they are invinceable, and god i wish i had that back. They dont have a worry in the world, because of him, i do. Every time i walk past our old school, or past the place where her funeral was, or by the house that i know she was murdered in, all those memorys come rushing back. I want to get to a place where i can stop hating him completely, but i dont think i will ever be able to forgive him. Ever.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jun 4, 2011 6:33:32 GMT -5
this is an old thread for sure but still relevent. My mom mentioned something to me the other day about forgiving the murderer. The thing is. I know its bad and my parents have always taught me forgiveness is the greatest thing you can do. I really want to forgive him, i just cant find it in me. My reply to her was that i dont hold as much hatred towards the man as i did a few years ago. because i do not think that is useful for anybody in the slightest. But i havnt forgiven him. Not by a long shot. For me, the two are seperate. For what he put me though, i dont think i ever will be able to forgive him. He robbed me of much more than my best friend. he also shattered my confidence in people as a general thing. I cant trust people are not going to hurt me, because of what he did to her. I will never forgive him for what he did, and what he took from me and the rest of her friends. He essentially took away our childhoods really. Some of my other friends have this sense that they are invinceable, and god i wish i had that back. They dont have a worry in the world, because of him, i do. Every time i walk past our old school, or past the place where her funeral was, or by the house that i know she was murdered in, all those memorys come rushing back. I want to get to a place where i can stop hating him completely, but i dont think i will ever be able to forgive him. Ever. Dear insideout, please don't let anyone give you ###*** for your choice on this issue! This is a VERY big issue with many MVS. It should be! I chose to forgive and have gotten ###*** from some ###***. Those who have chosen not to forgive have also gotten ###***. Technically, this issue is between you and God. With some MVS it also could be part of their view on how much they want the murderer in their case punished: i.e., do they think the murderer should get the death penalty? But, ultimately, it's between you and God. 1 thing I get so tired of is people ONLY presenting THEIR side. This is horrible and unfair. ALL the MVS who are resolving this issue need to hear from BOTH SIDES at ALL times. What's great on here is you've probably already seen on this thread how other MVS have decided on this issue. We learn from each other. Boards like these are a wonderful blessing because some MVS don't live close to an MVS support group meeting OR they don't have the money for gas/don't have money for a car, etc. to get to a meeting such as the 1's from the group Parents of Murdered Children. I was VERY blessed to have a POMC meeting in the city I lived in where the murders in my family happened and that I had the $ to be able to get there. Boards like this truly help those with the forgiveness issue and other issues that don't have a meeting near them, etc. Again, please don't let anyone give you ###*** for whatever you decide. I wish you the best with whatever decision you make. Take care.
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