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Post by drewsmom595 on Jan 24, 2010 22:11:36 GMT -5
It's been six years since my Dad's murder and waaaay too long since I've checked in on this board. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about many of you on this board, and the shared grief between us.
I thought I was doing "better", but I think I was just deluding myself. Just a couple of weeks ago, my uncle died suddenly. He was my Dad's last surviving brother. I went to his funeral and it was like the scab that was holding my heart together was peeled off. All throughout the service, photos were shown on a huge display. There were numerous photos of my Dad and I just lost it.
It's also hard for me to be around my Dad's sisters (who were at the funeral) because they remind me so much about my Dad. It's strange that I do not find it comforting to be around the people who loved him as much as I did. Instead, they are stark reminders of him and the fact that he's gone forever. They have the same piercing blue eyes that my Dad had, and it was hard for me to have to look at them without tears welling in my eyes.
I feel guilty for wanting to avoid my Dad's sisters and my cousins. I know that it would be the last thing that my Dad would've wanted me to do...but for my own sanity, it's just too hard to see them alive and well and know that my Dad would've still been here too.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jan 28, 2010 12:39:48 GMT -5
Dear drewsmom,
Bless your heart, that must have been so very painful. I wish that we could all just stop feeling guilty for things we cannot help how we feel - like how you feel when you see their eyes like your Dad's, and so many other things too. I know any funeral can set so many triggers off for me - even things like the smell of so many flowers at once - so I am right back there at her funeral again. That must have been very hard for you with so many strong reminders. I hope that you are taking extra good care of you during this time. You are in my thoughts and will be in my prayers, for what comfort there can be for you.
Janet
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Post by beemo on Apr 2, 2010 19:07:43 GMT -5
((((((hugs))))))
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Post by wordup on Apr 3, 2010 5:37:25 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are having to deal with these feeling, wish I could come and give you a great big hug, since I can't I just send it through cyber space. take care.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 11, 2010 16:58:19 GMT -5
It's been six years since my Dad's murder and waaaay too long since I've checked in on this board. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about many of you on this board, and the shared grief between us. I thought I was doing "better", but I think I was just deluding myself. Just a couple of weeks ago, my uncle died suddenly. He was my Dad's last surviving brother. I went to his funeral and it was like the scab that was holding my heart together was peeled off. All throughout the service, photos were shown on a huge display. There were numerous photos of my Dad and I just lost it. It's also hard for me to be around my Dad's sisters (who were at the funeral) because they remind me so much about my Dad. It's strange that I do not find it comforting to be around the people who loved him as much as I did. Instead, they are stark reminders of him and the fact that he's gone forever. They have the same piercing blue eyes that my Dad had, and it was hard for me to have to look at them without tears welling in my eyes. I feel guilty for wanting to avoid my Dad's sisters and my cousins. I know that it would be the last thing that my Dad would've wanted me to do...but for my own sanity, it's just too hard to see them alive and well and know that my Dad would've still been here too. Dear drewsmom, 1st of all, am sorry it took me so long to answer this. I'm very sorry about your uncle. I understand 100% how when we see family it reminds us of our murdered loved 1's. We miss them every day and times like you described are just another reminder. Take care, my Internet family member.
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