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Post by c21king2queen on Aug 26, 2010 17:26:57 GMT -5
On April 26, 2008, a single gunshot to the back of my husband's head literally blew his head off and ended his life instantly. In that moment my son and I took a shot to the heart and life as we knew it and the life that we should have, could have and would have was taken. The evil murderers not only took my husband's life, but they also took my son's life and my life. While my husband was on the National Missing Person's List and so many people were looking for him, no one missed my son and I and looked for us. When so many people showed up for my husband's funeral and burial service, they all mourned for my husband, but no one mourned for my son and I. No one mourned for us, no one missed us and no one really gets it or understands what we have been through. On the day that my husband was buried, my son and I were buried with him. What everyone sees now is a Widow and Single Mother and they see my son as a Fatherless Child. To everyone's great dissappointment, I will never date or remarry. I feel like my husband is still alive in my heart. I can never be unfaithful to God, my heart and soul, or to my husband. I will always love my husband and he will always be my son's father. No one gets it or understands. I'd rather have a lifetime of love than 5 seconds of lust. It was God's intention and God's plan for my husband and I to be together and have a child. It was not God's intention and plan for my husband to be murdered. The evil murderers should have been indicted and charged with 3 murders instead of one. Suing for restitution wouldn't do any good. They don't have anything. They murdered my husband for 3.06 acres of land and where did that get them? The land they killed for is not theirs and they are about to go to prison for life without parole (I certainly hope that death is the only way out for them). They took my husband's life and destroyed the lives of others. No one can ever give back, repay, replace or make up for what has been taken from my husband, my son, and I. Everyone thinks I should just get over it, forgive and forget. I have been through a devastating and traumatic loss and add to that extra trauma from people who entered my home and car illegally and repeatedly and played cruel, sick, twisted and illegal games with my son and I. You don't forget and you never really get over it. If I could get justice for my husband's murder and for all those people who entered my home and car and played their illegal games with my son and I, may'be I could finally makes some peace with it all (at least somewhat). I have so many unanswered questions and unresolved issues. I wish my husband, love of my life, and father of my only child could come home alive and well. He will always be with my son and I in our hearts. Through it all, God has been here with us. God is always with us.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Aug 28, 2010 0:43:08 GMT -5
On April 26, 2008, a single gunshot to the back of my husband's head literally blew his head off and ended his life instantly. In that moment my son and I took a shot to the heart and life as we knew it and the life that we should have, could have and would have was taken. The evil murderers not only took my husband's life, but they also took my son's life and my life. While my husband was on the National Missing Person's List and so many people were looking for him, no one missed my son and I and looked for us. When so many people showed up for my husband's funeral and burial service, they all mourned for my husband, but no one mourned for my son and I. No one mourned for us, no one missed us and no one really gets it or understands what we have been through. On the day that my husband was buried, my son and I were buried with him. What everyone sees now is a Widow and Single Mother and they see my son as a Fatherless Child. To everyone's great dissappointment, I will never date or remarry. I feel like my husband is still alive in my heart. I can never be unfaithful to God, my heart and soul, or to my husband. I will always love my husband and he will always be my son's father. No one gets it or understands. I'd rather have a lifetime of love than 5 seconds of lust. It was God's intention and God's plan for my husband and I to be together and have a child. It was not God's intention and plan for my husband to be murdered. The evil murderers should have been indicted and charged with 3 murders instead of one. Suing for restitution wouldn't do any good. They don't have anything. They murdered my husband for 3.06 acres of land and where did that get them? The land they killed for is not theirs and they are about to go to prison for life without parole (I certainly hope that death is the only way out for them). They took my husband's life and destroyed the lives of others. No one can ever give back, repay, replace or make up for what has been taken from my husband, my son, and I. Everyone thinks I should just get over it, forgive and forget. I have been through a devastating and traumatic loss and add to that extra trauma from people who entered my home and car illegally and repeatedly and played cruel, sick, twisted and illegal games with my son and I. You don't forget and you never really get over it. If I could get justice for my husband's murder and for all those people who entered my home and car and played their illegal games with my son and I, may'be I could finally makes some peace with it all (at least somewhat). I have so many unanswered questions and unresolved issues. I wish my husband, love of my life, and father of my only child could come home alive and well. He will always be with my son and I in our hearts. Through it all, God has been here with us. God is always with us. to you. ###*** those who order you around, think you should remarry, etc. Technically, it's none of their business. Also, no one should be telling you "get over it". WHEN are people like this ever going to even WANT to understand how it doesn't work this way when it comes to our tragedies? You won't ever forget and there's NOTHING wrong with this! How COULD you forget him? Seriously? You loved him and still do! There's nothing wrong with that! I think of my murdered loved 1's plus the perpetrator (who was also a family member) every day and won't ever feel bad about it! Some don't want to understand that our wonderful memories of them KEEP US SANE! I'm very glad you have this board to come to as on here are those who truly understand and take the time to! Take care.
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lmb
Freshman
Posts: 28
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Post by lmb on Aug 30, 2010 8:11:41 GMT -5
People just don't get it. They think they are helping but they really have no idea how we are feeling. Even though we have both lost someone to murder, I can't pretend to know how you feel. I lost my brother. A different love than you have for your husband.
Hugs to you and your son!
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Post by chelle25 on Sept 20, 2010 17:43:53 GMT -5
Beautifully written, well done. Even though I cannot relate to your situation because I have never been through what you have personally, my heart mourns for you & your son, & your husband. I am very angry at the people who hurt your family & ruined your plans. They had/have NO RIGHT. I believe God cries along with us when cruel & evil things take place. He did not do this evil act but He also was not taken by suprise by it. Keep your head up for that beautiful child of yours, he is part of your husband....you are right, your husband is still with you - he is alive in your son & in your heart. For Every Tear We Cry God Keeps Them In A Vial In Heaven, No Tear Is Ever Lost Or Forgotten About. Attachments:
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Post by c21king2queen on Sept 21, 2010 16:11:00 GMT -5
I guess Heaven has been flooded by tears if God is saving all those tears. I'm sure I am not the only person who has cried so many tears everyday. I have to live with it for the rest of my life just as every Murder Victim Survivor has to live with it. You never get over it and never forget, you just have to learn to live with it.
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Post by chelle25 on Sept 21, 2010 20:41:47 GMT -5
yes, and it sucks a fat one. I hate this, I really do.... was your husband missing as well after his murder?
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Post by c21king2queen on Sept 24, 2010 16:38:02 GMT -5
In answer to your question Chelle, yes my husband was dead and missing for 3 days before his body was found in a shallow grave. I filed a Missing Person report the day after he failed to come home. He was on the National Missing Person List for 2 days before he was found. When they found him he had been dead for three days and they couldn't identify him by face, because basically he had no face. His head was literally blown off. They had to send a special team back to the crime scene to try to collect the pieces of his skull so they could try to piece it back together. There is still a piece missing, like my life there is a piece missing since my husband's murder. No can give back, repay or replace what has been taken from my husband, son and I. That is how it is with murder, they take innocent lives and hurt and destroy lives of innocent loved ones who remain. My heart and prayers go out to all Murder Victim Survivors.
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Post by chelle25 on Sept 28, 2010 22:01:28 GMT -5
My aunt went missing back in december 09 & was missing for 3 months when she was found stripped of her clothing in a bayou. She was also unrecognizable by face. They identified her by her tattoos. It was a nightmare.
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Post by tammyandruben on Sept 30, 2010 13:24:45 GMT -5
My brother was identified by fingerprints pretty soon after the murder, but when we went to the funeral home, no one knew where he was. He was still listed as a John Doe at the OMI, and I was hoping so hard that he was still alive and it was a huge mistake. One look at his face in the casket, and I knew it really was a nightmare. My brother was James Freeman Jr. Not John Doe. I know mistakes happens, but damn. That one hurt.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 1, 2010 15:47:07 GMT -5
For those of you who got to see your loved ones before they were buried, in a way you are blessed because you know for sure and have that certainty. My husband didn't really have a recognizable face and because he had been dead for three days they identified him through dental records. They kept his body for 2 weeks in autopsy. Because of the condition of the body and the fact he had been dead that long, they refused to let me see his body. The DA's office showed me fake crime scene photos twice. Autopsy photos were sent to my email illegally, so I did not view them, I deleted them. I sent the State Medical Examiner an email stating that those photos were sent illegally, I did not view them, I deleted them, someone is hacking into my computer and I can't be responsible for anyone who viewed those photos. Why would they make such a stupid, potentially crucial and damaging mistake?? I requested to see his clothing and they refused to let me see it. Through it all I do know that my husband is dead. He never would have left his wife and son. He loved us. He might have possibly have left me, but never his son. He once told me, "I don't care if you drop off the face of the earth, as long as I have my son." That is how I know that he is dead.
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Post by chelle25 on Oct 2, 2010 13:55:05 GMT -5
I never got to see my aunt again. Last time I saw her was thanksgiving 2009 & 2 weeks later she was missing for 3 months. Her daughter has begged & pleaded to see the photos of her body but the coroner, detectives, & my aunt's lawyer refuse because she just looked too bad. But at least we have a body, no more looking.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 2, 2010 14:10:54 GMT -5
In some cases, may'be we really are better off not seeing the body. That is an image we will have to live with for the rest of our lives. I visited the crime scene and I read the autopsy report and I know what little they have told me, but that is enough for me to get a vivid picture in my mind. It is horrible, devastating, and traumatizing enough. It is better to picture our loved one's in our minds the way the were before they died, so full of life. Focus on all the good, wonderful, and happy things you love so much about your loved one. That is what I would rather keep in my heart and mind. I will always love my husband. What I have been through you never get over or forget. I am sure is much the same for all Murder Victim Survivors. Prayers and hugs to all!!
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Oct 2, 2010 22:43:39 GMT -5
A double edged sword. We got to say a goodbye, at least on some level, in that hospital room, but I will never forget what I saw there either.
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Post by tammyandruben on Oct 3, 2010 17:18:13 GMT -5
I asked to see my brother, and it made it real to me. I was still hoping. I also was with my father when he passed, and the things I saw and heard will haunt me forever. I really don't know what is the best.
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Post by melody on Oct 3, 2010 22:59:53 GMT -5
I certainly don't think anyone of us murder victim's survivors is more blessed than the next. My brother was identified by dna because only random pieces of bone were left, not even dental records. I think we are all in the same boat regardless of what body, or body parts may or may not be left behind. I just wish those with missing still would be "blessed" with identity of their loved one.
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Post by chelle25 on Oct 4, 2010 21:06:06 GMT -5
I know now that " out of sight - out of mind " is true for me. Not seeing my aunt that way DID help me personally, & having a closed casket was alot easier. My dad passed away 4 months after we buried my aunt & he chose to be cremated & not seeing him laying in the casket helped us all alot too.
I am glad I didn't see my aunt after she was pulled from the water because I know it would have changed something deep inside me & hurt my mind & spirit really bad. It would have made me so angry to the point of doing something that would put me in jail or cause me a grave sin. It would have been an unescapable nightmare.
I fought long & hard to overcome the evil done to her & seeing her body would have been a war I may not have survived, my spirit tells me it's best to remember her as she was in earth alive, not as she was in the river. I didn't put her there & leave her so why should I have to live with the burden of that image, I feel her murderer should have her decomposed face postered to his jail cell wall & constantly reminded that he left a human being to rot in a bayou to be fed on by turtles, snakes, & fish....fkin bastard.
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Post by tammyandruben on Oct 5, 2010 9:15:54 GMT -5
It's just crazy to think of the things someone can do to someone else. How can they live with themselves?
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Oct 5, 2010 11:44:16 GMT -5
It's just crazy to think of the things someone can do to someone else. How can they live with themselves? The people in this world who say there's NO EVIL and/or NO EVIL PEOPLE are so deep in denial it's literally funny! They're a bunch of ###*** liars! The truth is there's murderers who will NEVER have remorse, not care what they did, etc. There also are those who DO and are devastated by what they did. The murderer in my familys' case DID care what she did and was devastated the rest of her life. I'm VERY thankful for this because it's been HELL enough recovering from what she did, but just imagine what it would be like if she'd been pure evil! It would have been even worse.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 5, 2010 15:44:20 GMT -5
It is unfortunate that there are too many evil people in this world who committ evil acts like murder. It is even more unfortunate that too many murderers feel no remorse and don't feel they should be held accountable and responsible for their actions. The people responsible for my husband's murder are just pure evil. They spent months planning and conspiring to murder my husband. They could have stopped it at any time before the murder, but they did not. They set it up and with one shot to the back of my husband's head, literally blew his head off. Then they moved my husband's body, left it burried in a shallow grave, and moved my husband's car to another location. My husband was dead for 3 days before he was found. I don't know how many days later it was before they sent a special team back to the crime scene to try to find the pieces of his skull. There is still a piece missing. They kept his body in autopsy for 2 weeks, while they tried to put his skull back together, except for the missing piece. The main suspect who pulled the trigger, has a previous conviction for attempted 2nd degree murder and aggravated assault. He was also previously a fugitive of justice from another state for another violent offense. He has a pattern of repeat violent criminal behavior, drug activity, and other illegal and criminal activities. He has been out on bond for nearly a year. The other suspect has been out on bond for months. I wish I could wave a magic wand and remove all the evil from the world. My son and I have been living in a nightmare since my husband was murdered and it will not end until we die and go to Heaven. I pray everyday for som Justice in this world for my son and I and for all Victims and Survivors.
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Post by tammyandruben on Oct 6, 2010 9:49:04 GMT -5
What a nightmare to have them out on bond. What the hell? Why is the justice system making you suffer more? I would be so scared. I don't know yet if the murderer who killed my brother feels bad, as it just happened 2 weeks ago, but he does have a record for assault with great bodily injury. It is so hard to get any information about him or the case. The police report and autopsy won't be ready for months. And I am left wondering about a lot of things. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Do you have any advice on how to get details about the case?
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Oct 6, 2010 11:45:17 GMT -5
What a nightmare to have them out on bond. What the hell? Why is the justice system making you suffer more? I would be so scared. I don't know yet if the murderer who killed my brother feels bad, as it just happened 2 weeks ago, but he does have a record for assault with great bodily injury. It is so hard to get any information about him or the case. The police report and autopsy won't be ready for months. And I am left wondering about a lot of things. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Do you have any advice on how to get details about the case? Dear tammyandruben, is there a Victims' Assistance office in your city? They help the MVS with these issues. You may also want to contact Parents of Murdered Children for advice. There's a link to them on here. Every time I've e-mailed them they answered me quickly. I hope this info helps you. Take care.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 6, 2010 17:44:45 GMT -5
I wish I could give advice on how to get details on the case and I wish there was someone in my area who would and could help me. I tried asking questions and pointing out things that didn't add up or fit together and things that weren't right and things that have been done wrong in the case. The DA's office and Law Enforcement didn't like that. They also don't like it when you try to go over their heads. They have mishandled this case right from the start and made so many mistakes. They have also treated the family of the Murder Victim so badly all along. No one will help me. If I had been informed about the bond hearings before they took place I would have been there to make sure the DA presented what he should have to the Judge and I would have made sure that bond was either not set or set so high that they would never get out on bond. The fact is the DA himself lied to my face and my parents faces and told us that they would not get out on bond before the trial and 3 days later had a bond hearing without informing us, because he didn't want me there so the murderers could get out on bond. I have heard from a DA in another district that the bond was set extremely and unusually too low for the circumstances and crime in this case. The fact is Victims have no rights and criminals have all sorts of rights. I have tried and tried and I am fighting alone and keep beating my head against a cement wall. No one cares about what is right or just. I can't do anything about anything anymore and I am tired. I hope and pray that other Victims do not have to go through what I have been going through and have success getting answers, fair treatment, and the help they need. I have been living in a nightmare since my husband was murdered and it will never end. For nearly a year I had to endure people entering my home and car illegally and repeatedly. I had to move and have all the locks on my car changed and rekeyed, because the Sherriff's Department have a set of keys to my home and car that were used repeatedly to enter my home and car illegally. I now live with a security sytem and a loaded shot gun, as well as other things that I am prepared to use to protect my son and myself if I have to. I now live in fear of the people who are sworn to serve and protect. Only God and I can protect my son and myself. At this point I believe whatever happens won't change anything. My husband will still be dead, my son will still be fatherless for the rest of his life and I will still be a Widow and single mother for the rest of my life. What I have been through, you never get over or forget. I have been so badly traumatized and devastated for life. I have to keep the faith and keep believing that God will take care of us. I pray for God to have mercy on my son and I and all Victims.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Oct 6, 2010 17:59:57 GMT -5
What a nightmare to have them out on bond. What the hell? Why is the justice system making you suffer more? I would be so scared. I don't know yet if the murderer who killed my brother feels bad, as it just happened 2 weeks ago, but he does have a record for assault with great bodily injury. It is so hard to get any information about him or the case. The police report and autopsy won't be ready for months. And I am left wondering about a lot of things. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Do you have any advice on how to get details about the case? Hello tammyandruben, Pumpkin's advice to contact victim's assistance, if you have that there, is what I was going to say too. Most of what we were able to find out in the early months was from Victims Assistance. However, the way ours is set up here, they weren't really involved until after the case went to the DA. Before that, we could only call the detective in charge of the case. But I don't know how those things are set up where you are. We did not find out much at first, because it was a pending case still under investigation, there were many things they simply would not tell anyone. Sometimes that does help the investigation, and their ability to make a stronger case. But it made me even more nuts wondering and wanting to know how such a thing could even be. We didn't really find out much about it all until the first one's trial. But there are things it is your right to be informed of, and that is what victims assistance helped us with here. I hope that helps, Janet
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Post by tammyandruben on Oct 7, 2010 12:11:31 GMT -5
We do have a victims assistant from the DAs office that has contacted us, but she doesn't know, or is unwilling to tell us much. I didn't even know until the funeral how many times my brother was stabbed. (I looked.) My husband was horrified that I looked, but my mom and I wanted to know. The detective says we have to wait. I want to thank the witnesses and I hope they don't disappear before trial. I know there were 2 witnesses, but have no idea who they are. And thanks to the newspaper for the information. The indictment was yesterday and it's for second degree murder. I don't know the difference. Arraignment is Tues. It will be the first time my mom and I get to see the killer. I finally got a case# so I can look up court dates on the internet, so I hope I don't miss any, because I want him to see my brother there. We look alike. I hope we get a lot more support from the DAs office than we have so far, or this is going to be a long battle for us. I know from the newspaper his last words were "chill out". The killer, Timothy Redbird, has a $300,000 bond and I hope they don't lower it. He has a record for assaualt with great bodily injury that happened in July, and he was on probation for, and also DUI, other assualt charges, etc. He is dangerous. Thank you for the advice. Hopefully I can get some answers and some rest soon. Thank you again for the help and for listening.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 7, 2010 15:45:46 GMT -5
Someone from the DA's office is supposed to be keeping me informed, but she has failed to do that right from the start. The DA's office is not doing their job with this case at all. If any other victims got a case # you are lucky. They won't give me any information. If I try to call the courthouse they won't give me information either they just refer me to the DA's office who doesn't give me any information. I am the wife and widow of a murder victim and I have the right to this information. Unfortunately in my district and state, I don't have the right to anything. Victims have absolutely no rights and criminals have all sorts of rights. There is no one here who will give me information and answer my questions. They only give me lies, misinformation or don't tell me anything. The DA's office even showed me fake crime scene photos twice when I requested to see crime scene photos on two separate dates. I hope and pray that other victims don't have to go through what I have been through, are treated with compassion and fairness, and have a much better experience than what I have been going through. Two suspects were indicted for 1st degree murder and felony conspiracy in May of 2008. This was premeditated 1st degree murder. I will have to go through 2 separate trials, one for each suspect. On October 26 it will be exactly 2 and 1/2 years since my husband's murder. Still no trials or dates for trials. The shooter and main suspect has been out on bond for nearly a year and the other suspect has been out on bond for several months. I have learned that you can't trust anyone from the DA's office, Law Enforcement, or the Media. They are not your friends. I have learned that if I want information I have to dig for it myself with no help from the DA's office or Law Enforcement. I have learned that if I want anything or need anything or need help, I have to do it for myself. In January 2011 a new DA will be sworn in. I can't wait. I am going to the new DA and give him quite the earful about how I have been mistreated, lied to, misinformed and uninformed. I also plan to give him quite the earful about how the DA's office and Law Enforcement have so completely and badly mishandled this case. I hope the new DA will have someone investigate some of the people currently in the DA's office, Sheriff's Department, and local Police Department. For now, I am only beating my head against a cement wall. Right now I can't do anything about anything, as long as the same crooked people are in the DA's office and Sheriff's Department. I wish we had Victim's Services in my area that could help me and other Victims.
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Post by tammyandruben on Oct 7, 2010 15:53:54 GMT -5
It really sucks when the guilty have more support and resources than the families. Maybe a new DA is just what you need. What reason would they have in showing you fake photos? That's really sick and twisted. Hang in there. Regardless of the outcome, be prepared for it not to turn out anyway positive, hang in there. Other people need you.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Oct 8, 2010 6:48:02 GMT -5
I wish I could give advice on how to get details on the case and I wish there was someone in my area who would and could help me. I tried asking questions and pointing out things that didn't add up or fit together and things that weren't right and things that have been done wrong in the case. The DA's office and Law Enforcement didn't like that. They also don't like it when you try to go over their heads. They have mishandled this case right from the start and made so many mistakes. They have also treated the family of the Murder Victim so badly all along. No one will help me. If I had been informed about the bond hearings before they took place I would have been there to make sure the DA presented what he should have to the Judge and I would have made sure that bond was either not set or set so high that they would never get out on bond. The fact is the DA himself lied to my face and my parents faces and told us that they would not get out on bond before the trial and 3 days later had a bond hearing without informing us, because he didn't want me there so the murderers could get out on bond. I have heard from a DA in another district that the bond was set extremely and unusually too low for the circumstances and crime in this case. The fact is Victims have no rights and criminals have all sorts of rights. I have tried and tried and I am fighting alone and keep beating my head against a cement wall. No one cares about what is right or just. I can't do anything about anything anymore and I am tired. I hope and pray that other Victims do not have to go through what I have been going through and have success getting answers, fair treatment, and the help they need. I have been living in a nightmare since my husband was murdered and it will never end. For nearly a year I had to endure people entering my home and car illegally and repeatedly. I had to move and have all the locks on my car changed and rekeyed, because the Sherriff's Department have a set of keys to my home and car that were used repeatedly to enter my home and car illegally. I now live with a security sytem and a loaded shot gun, as well as other things that I am prepared to use to protect my son and myself if I have to. I now live in fear of the people who are sworn to serve and protect. Only God and I can protect my son and myself. At this point I believe whatever happens won't change anything. My husband will still be dead, my son will still be fatherless for the rest of his life and I will still be a Widow and single mother for the rest of my life. What I have been through, you never get over or forget. I have been so badly traumatized and devastated for life. I have to keep the faith and keep believing that God will take care of us. I pray for God to have mercy on my son and I and all Victims. If you don't mind my asking, have you thought about pressing charges on these people who are harrassing you? They might be breaking the stalking laws. Unfortunately, I had to look into the harrassment/stalking laws in my state a few years ago due to a so-called "friend" who harrassed/stalked me on the job. The laws vary state by state (unfortunately), but at least there ARE laws against these things now! For too many years, there weren't any! I agree with you 100% on how FEW rights the MVS and other victims have! This is something the founding fathers of the US really messed up on. While rights of the accused HAVE to be there in a just society, some thought to the rights of victims WOULD BE NICE! Thank God for the MVS and other victims who have fought very hard and made SOME headway! However, more work needs to be done! Too many politicans in the US could care less about these issues.
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Post by c21king2queen on Oct 8, 2010 16:20:58 GMT -5
I tried to get my lawyer to file a lawsuit. My lawyer said himself, "That is a felony." My lawyer won't file a lawsuit on my behalf. The problem is that these people work for the DA's office and the Sheriff's Department. That is how they get away with entering my home and car repeatedly and illegally and playing all sorts of cruel, sick, twisted and illegal games with my son and I. No one will help me, because someone else is pulling the strings around here. They have gotten away with mistreating the victims in this case. They have gotten away with lying, misinforming and uninforming me. They have gotten away with showing me fake crime scene photos twice when I requested to see them. No one will do anything to help me, because the people doing all of this are Law Enforcement, with the DA's office, and Politicians with money and power in my state. It is not right for anyone to be treated the way my son and I have been treated and to put through what we have been put through. It is even worse the way they have so badly mishandled and botched my husband's homicide case. I am still hoping and praying that the murder suspect will get Life In Prison Without Parole. No matter what happens it won't change anything. My husband will still be dead, my son will still be fatherless for the rest of his life, and I will still be a widow and single mother for the rest of my life. Nothing will change what my son and I have been through since my husband's murder. What I have been through you never get over or forget. I will certainly never be able to trust Law Enforcement, anyone with the DA's office, or any Politician ever again. The very people who are sworn to serve, protect and uphold the law, I now live in fear of. The very people who are supposed to and should help me, can't be trusted and I live in fear of. In the end God will have the final Justice. There really is no justice in this world. God will have the final Justice, that is the only thing that gives me any comfort. My son and I have to live with all of this for the rest of our lives. I wish these people could be held accountable and responsible for their actions and sentenced for their crimes. That is what I pray for everyday. When my parents are dead and their Estate is closed, my son and I are moving far away from this County, District and State. I will never look back and only return to be burried next to my husband. I was born and raised in this State, my son was born in this County and it has been his only home. Since my husband's murder and all this started, my son and I no longer have a home. I can't wait to get so far away from this Hell On Earth!! The only thing that matters now is protecting and raising my son. I hope someday that my son will put all of these people to such horrible shame. I pray that they live to regret the innocent lives they have hurt and destroyed. I pray that no one else will have to go through what my son and I have been through. No one deserves any of this.
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