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Post by kmwhitley on Jan 30, 2011 21:51:32 GMT -5
I am new to this website but just wanted to give everyone a general picture of my story...My mom was murdered 17 years ago (when I was 17). She was shot 3 times and left to die and my brothers found her after school and she survived 13 days in ICU then passed away of A.R.D.S (Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome, it is where the lungs loose their elasticity). And I took over custody of my two younger brothers (at the time, ages 16 and 9)...The murderer was my ex-stepsister (my younger brother's half-sister age 17 at the time, they share the same dad), she got a life without parole sentence but it is still not enough. Her dad (my younger brother, Matthew's dad) is the one that put her up to it and he was scott free. I just found out on the anniversary date of the shooting (January 26th) that Matthew's dad passed away in May of 2010. That brought some relief to me knowing he can't hurt us or anyone else anymore. I am here because this year has really hit us all hard and it's not just one date it is almost 3 weeks long of specific dates that are hard at this time of year. Not sure what I am looking for just other people who share the same kind of pain i guess...
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jan 31, 2011 7:45:31 GMT -5
I am new to this website but just wanted to give everyone a general picture of my story...My mom was murdered 17 years ago (when I was 17). She was shot 3 times and left to die and my brothers found her after school and she survived 13 days in ICU then passed away of A.R.D.S (Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome, it is where the lungs loose their elasticity). And I took over custody of my two younger brothers (at the time, ages 16 and 9)...The murderer was my ex-stepsister (my younger brother's half-sister age 17 at the time, they share the same dad), she got a life without parole sentence but it is still not enough. Her dad (my younger brother, Matthew's dad) is the one that put her up to it and he was scott free. I just found out on the anniversary date of the shooting (January 26th) that Matthew's dad passed away in May of 2010. That brought some relief to me knowing he can't hurt us or anyone else anymore. I am here because this year has really hit us all hard and it's not just one date it is almost 3 weeks long of specific dates that are hard at this time of year. Not sure what I am looking for just other people who share the same kind of pain i guess... Dear kmwhitley, I'm very sorry about your mother. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. There are time when so many things hit us all at once as you say. Please know that on here we're ready to listen and understand the most of anyone what it's like. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Jan 31, 2011 17:02:07 GMT -5
Dear kmwhitley,
I am so sorry your mother was taken from you all. That was so much horror and responsibility for you to take on at such a young age.
I still have a very tough time with sadaversaries and birthdays after almost 10 years too. I cannot imagine having 3 weeks with days like that. I am so sorry. I hope your brothers are doing as okay as they can be also, and that you can find some release and some comfort here.
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Post by kmwhitley on Jan 31, 2011 21:53:49 GMT -5
Thank you for the the quick responses...I think this website will help me. Tomorrow is her birthday so definitely keep us in your prayers. That was the first day that she actually talked to us over her trachae when she was in ICU, and we took a cake and balloons up there to help cheer her up. She was shot on January 26th, her bday is Feb. 1st, she passed away on Feb. 8th then the funeral was Feb. 12th so got at least 2 more weeks left to get through.
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lmb
Freshman
Posts: 28
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Post by lmb on Feb 2, 2011 15:34:34 GMT -5
Welcome Kmwhitley. I'm so sorry what has brought you here. We all understand... You are a Godsend for stepping up and taking care of your brothers.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue through these difficult day.
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Post by c21king2queen on Feb 2, 2011 17:13:53 GMT -5
Welcome, Kmwhitley, even though I am sorry for the circumstances for which you have come to this site as I am for all of us who have found our way here. We are all Murder Victim Survivors. We can all understand what you have been going through. It has been nearly 3 years since my husband was murdered. He was shot once in the back of the head and killed instantly, his body was moved and left in a shallow grave for 3 days before he was found. My son was only 14 months old when it happened. I am still waiting for 2 murder trials, one for each of the 2 suspects, followed by a civil court case. I also know what you are going through with the 3 weeks of dates together. I know how emotional that can be. I feel like I have been on a never ending roller coaster. When you get to certain dates or just certain things trigger the downward slump on the roller coaster and it takes a while to feel like you are going back up and things seem better for a while. It is a constant cycle of up and down. Right now I feel like I am on the upward climb. This is what I have to live with for the rest of my life. What I have been through, you never get over or forget. All Murder Victim Survivors that I have heard from say the same thing. We just have to try to find a positive way to live with the pain and the emotional roller coaster. My prayers are with you as with all Murder Victim Survivors.
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Post by melody on Feb 5, 2011 2:10:18 GMT -5
Kmwhitley, I am so so sorry you lost your mom under these horrible circumstances. These dates are so hard to deal with, even though an average date is hard enough. I am glad you found this place where people can commiserate and share some of your thoughts and feelings. I am hoping your siblings are all finding the support they need as well.
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Post by uncleeddiesniece on Feb 13, 2011 11:02:57 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. For me, this site is a Godsend. I know that I am not alone w/my feelings. My uncle was murdered in 8/2000 and I still have terrible grief waves. My life will never be the same or "normal". There are times that I feel like I am going crazy w/what is going thru my mind! I can come here and read or share and feel the support. I am glad you found this site and hope that you can find some comfort. Just know....u are not alone!! Sending thoughts and prayers !
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