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Post by insideout on May 26, 2011 8:18:59 GMT -5
Guys hannahs birthday is coming up She would have been 19 this year. On June 2. Hanni my precious angel, i miss you more than you could ever imagine. We all do. I wish so much that you didnt have to stay 11 years old forever. I wish that you had been given all the oppotunities i have in my life since you grew your angel wings. My friend and i were telling his three year old about you the other day, and he asked why you had to go to heaven. We told him that sometimes things just happen, and theres not always a reason. He went away and thought for a little wile, then came back and said "I know why hannah went to heaven. god missed her too much and he wanted her back." Heaven is blessed, Hannah, to have you to count among its angels. You were an angel among humans and the world is a lesser place without you sweetie. Everything went sour after you left. The kids didnt hang out with each other anymore. No one saw the point. Everyone went off the rails. Thommo ended up in Juvi not long after. Just incase you didnt know that, although im sure you already did . We miss you so much baby girl. I saw your mom at our high school graduation, but my mom and i didnt know what to say to her. She misses you so much sweet heart, one look at her even after all these years, and i could see that. Please help me bub, i know you didnt ask for this to happen, but please guide me, im at a loss i dont know how to go from here. everything exciting that happens to me, like getting a full time job, finishing college, graduating high school, i always feel kinda sad, because i got to do this and you didnt. So happy birthday my little angel, have a big party up in heaven (and please, look after my grandad as well, his times coming, so for my familys sake, please end his suffering and make it sooner rather than later.)
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on May 28, 2011 12:13:45 GMT -5
Guys hannahs birthday is coming up She would have been 19 this year. On June 2. Hanni my precious angel, i miss you more than you could ever imagine. We all do. I wish so much that you didnt have to stay 11 years old forever. I wish that you had been given all the oppotunities i have in my life since you grew your angel wings. My friend and i were telling his three year old about you the other day, and he asked why you had to go to heaven. We told him that sometimes things just happen, and theres not always a reason. He went away and thought for a little wile, then came back and said "I know why hannah went to heaven. god missed her too much and he wanted her back." Heaven is blessed, Hannah, to have you to count among its angels. You were an angel among humans and the world is a lesser place without you sweetie. Everything went sour after you left. The kids didnt hang out with each other anymore. No one saw the point. Everyone went off the rails. Thommo ended up in Juvi not long after. Just incase you didnt know that, although im sure you already did . We miss you so much baby girl. I saw your mom at our high school graduation, but my mom and i didnt know what to say to her. She misses you so much sweet heart, one look at her even after all these years, and i could see that. Please help me bub, i know you didnt ask for this to happen, but please guide me, im at a loss i dont know how to go from here. everything exciting that happens to me, like getting a full time job, finishing college, graduating high school, i always feel kinda sad, because i got to do this and you didnt. So happy birthday my little angel, have a big party up in heaven (and please, look after my grandad as well, his times coming, so for my familys sake, please end his suffering and make it sooner rather than later.) Dear insideout, Yes it is so hard thinking of all that could have been, if our precious loved ones were not taken from us. Your "name" here is so apt, it seems to me. In a way, murder does turn us inside out. There we are with our broken hearts bared, whenever it is that we can't manage to hide it from others. And even if we can hide it from others, so often right in front of our own eyes. And birthdays are one of those days that seem to be hardest for every one of us. My heart goes out to you. I never seem to know what each birthday, each sadaversary, is going to be like - if it will be that day that will knock me down, or the aftermath of it if I got through it okay, or the dread of facing that day again - or all of them. But we can share the burden at least here if nowhere else. I am so sorry that you are facing this day again. I wish we never had to miss our loved ones at all. As a mom missing my daughter, I can tell you one thing that always comforts at least a bit - something that you can say to Hannah's mom next chance that you have. Just to tell her that you miss Hannah too, so very much, and can't help but think of her all the time. I know it makes me feel at least a bit better on even the worst of days to know that others remember my daughter too. And those who will talk about her, and what she meant to them when she was here, and tell me good memories they have with her - they are so very precious to me. Hoping and praying for whatever comfort there can be for you at this time of year, and for Hannah's mom too. Big cyber hug to you, hon
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Post by pumpkin12903 on May 28, 2011 14:28:42 GMT -5
Guys hannahs birthday is coming up She would have been 19 this year. On June 2. Hanni my precious angel, i miss you more than you could ever imagine. We all do. I wish so much that you didnt have to stay 11 years old forever. I wish that you had been given all the oppotunities i have in my life since you grew your angel wings. My friend and i were telling his three year old about you the other day, and he asked why you had to go to heaven. We told him that sometimes things just happen, and theres not always a reason. He went away and thought for a little wile, then came back and said "I know why hannah went to heaven. god missed her too much and he wanted her back." Heaven is blessed, Hannah, to have you to count among its angels. You were an angel among humans and the world is a lesser place without you sweetie. Everything went sour after you left. The kids didnt hang out with each other anymore. No one saw the point. Everyone went off the rails. Thommo ended up in Juvi not long after. Just incase you didnt know that, although im sure you already did . We miss you so much baby girl. I saw your mom at our high school graduation, but my mom and i didnt know what to say to her. She misses you so much sweet heart, one look at her even after all these years, and i could see that. Please help me bub, i know you didnt ask for this to happen, but please guide me, im at a loss i dont know how to go from here. everything exciting that happens to me, like getting a full time job, finishing college, graduating high school, i always feel kinda sad, because i got to do this and you didnt. So happy birthday my little angel, have a big party up in heaven (and please, look after my grandad as well, his times coming, so for my familys sake, please end his suffering and make it sooner rather than later.) Dear insideout, Yes it is so hard thinking of all that could have been, if our precious loved ones were not taken from us. Your "name" here is so apt, it seems to me. In a way, murder does turn us inside out. There we are with our broken hearts bared, whenever it is that we can't manage to hide it from others. And even if we can hide it from others, so often right in front of our own eyes. And birthdays are one of those days that seem to be hardest for every one of us. My heart goes out to you. I never seem to know what each birthday, each sadaversary, is going to be like - if it will be that day that will knock me down, or the aftermath of it if I got through it okay, or the dread of facing that day again - or all of them. But we can share the burden at least here if nowhere else. I am so sorry that you are facing this day again. I wish we never had to miss our loved ones at all. As a mom missing my daughter, I can tell you one thing that always comforts at least a bit - something that you can say to Hannah's mom next chance that you have. Just to tell her that you miss Hannah too, so very much, and can't help but think of her all the time. I know it makes me feel at least a bit better on even the worst of days to know that others remember my daughter too. And those who will talk about her, and what she meant to them when she was here, and tell me good memories they have with her - they are so very precious to me. Hoping and praying for whatever comfort there can be for you at this time of year, and for Hannah's mom too. Big cyber hug to you, hon Dear insideout, yes, birthdays are 1 of the hardest days for us. I'm with Janet in that hearing from those who TRULY care helps on the birthdays! My fiance is 1 person I can cope with being around on the birthdays plus the sadiversary (sadiversary is the anniversary of the murder). I tell him it's a compliment to him as he's cared enough to LEARN from me about MVS. Too many don't, so when we have 1's in our life who DO, it's a huge blessing. I hope you get through her birthday as best as possible. Take care.
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Post by insideout on Jun 2, 2011 6:11:38 GMT -5
Guys hannahs birthday is coming up She would have been 19 this year. On June 2. Hanni my precious angel, i miss you more than you could ever imagine. We all do. I wish so much that you didnt have to stay 11 years old forever. I wish that you had been given all the oppotunities i have in my life since you grew your angel wings. My friend and i were telling his three year old about you the other day, and he asked why you had to go to heaven. We told him that sometimes things just happen, and theres not always a reason. He went away and thought for a little wile, then came back and said "I know why hannah went to heaven. god missed her too much and he wanted her back." Heaven is blessed, Hannah, to have you to count among its angels. You were an angel among humans and the world is a lesser place without you sweetie. Everything went sour after you left. The kids didnt hang out with each other anymore. No one saw the point. Everyone went off the rails. Thommo ended up in Juvi not long after. Just incase you didnt know that, although im sure you already did . We miss you so much baby girl. I saw your mom at our high school graduation, but my mom and i didnt know what to say to her. She misses you so much sweet heart, one look at her even after all these years, and i could see that. Please help me bub, i know you didnt ask for this to happen, but please guide me, im at a loss i dont know how to go from here. everything exciting that happens to me, like getting a full time job, finishing college, graduating high school, i always feel kinda sad, because i got to do this and you didnt. So happy birthday my little angel, have a big party up in heaven (and please, look after my grandad as well, his times coming, so for my familys sake, please end his suffering and make it sooner rather than later.) Dear insideout, Yes it is so hard thinking of all that could have been, if our precious loved ones were not taken from us. Your "name" here is so apt, it seems to me. In a way, murder does turn us inside out. There we are with our broken hearts bared, whenever it is that we can't manage to hide it from others. And even if we can hide it from others, so often right in front of our own eyes. And birthdays are one of those days that seem to be hardest for every one of us. My heart goes out to you. I never seem to know what each birthday, each sadaversary, is going to be like - if it will be that day that will knock me down, or the aftermath of it if I got through it okay, or the dread of facing that day again - or all of them. But we can share the burden at least here if nowhere else. I am so sorry that you are facing this day again. I wish we never had to miss our loved ones at all. As a mom missing my daughter, I can tell you one thing that always comforts at least a bit - something that you can say to Hannah's mom next chance that you have. Just to tell her that you miss Hannah too, so very much, and can't help but think of her all the time. I know it makes me feel at least a bit better on even the worst of days to know that others remember my daughter too. And those who will talk about her, and what she meant to them when she was here, and tell me good memories they have with her - they are so very precious to me. Hoping and praying for whatever comfort there can be for you at this time of year, and for Hannah's mom too. Big cyber hug to you, hon Thanks Janet. Im so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I had a look at your website and im glad in both our cases justice was done. I will tell her mom that the next chance i get. I miss her so much. Especially at times when i feel alone. Because i know i wouldnt be if this had never happened. He messed up so many peoples lives when he took her away. I find myself getting angry at people i shouldnt. Especially around her anniversary and b'day. When people winge to me about what isnt going right in their life at the moment i find myself getting really upset. I said to one of my best friends yesterday "you think not making a football team is the hardest and most hurtful thing ever? YOU try standing beside the coffin of you BEST friend who was murdered. And knowing that she was in that box. Knowing that there was nothing you could do about it. Trying to stand there and be brave, at 12 years old, remembering the good times and crying your eyes out because you knew they would never be able to be added to. My final memory of my best friend is saying goodbye to her that friday afternoon. The next time i saw her, she was in a white wooden box. You think not making the footy team is hard, try living with THAT for the rest of your life" But always in the back of my mind i know what she would have wanted. She'd be very sad that i am a little upset every b'day. She would have said "dont be sad floss. thats silly" and told me not to waste my energy being sad about it. She would also never have wanted me to hate the guy that did it. I know that for certain. I try really hard not to, because i know that would be what she wanted. But days like today, its really hard. Im so glad i found this place. Its made me realize im so lucky in some ways to live where i do. We have a great justice system here that works very much to the victims. Sure we dont have death penalty, and we dont vote for our DA's (or Director of Public Prosecutions or DPP as we call him here) but our DPP is great. He will pursue these people relentlessly. He will try them again and again, until he gets a conviction, especially if he knows they are guilty and got off on a technicallity. He has been known to try someone up to 7 times for one case, each with new evidence. There's talk about changing it but i hope it doesnt happen. they want to cap how many times someone can be tried for the same case. They also want to take away some of the power from the DPP. The way i see it though, the systems not broken and works very well, so why fix it? When it happened, my uncle who is a Queens Council Barrister (top type of criminal lawyer) told me murder of a juvinile carries one sentance and one sentance alone: Life Without Parole. Its up to the judge about how the killer spends that. In this case, the judge opted not to stick him in a mental prision where they would cusion him (to quote him: "you do not deserve such treatment for what you did to a poor, innocent, defenceless little girl and the way your brutality has affected so may innocent lives.") but to stick him in one of the hardest prisons around. Even though i know she'd be horrified at it, i take a lot of comfort from that. I know that she wouldnt have wanted him to suffer as she did but im glad he is. Its so hard. Its days like today where i just think about what happened, and all that could, sorry, that SHOULD have been. To think that what i said goodbye to wasnt all of her either. Her heart was missing, her internal organs were not there. Her gut was missing. And i have to live with that for the rest of my life. When i found that out, many years later, i read it in the court documents, which i came across by accident. I read it and at the end it mentioned his name and the date of the crime. I ran into the next room and nearly passed out. He drove for EIGHT HOURS with her body in a suitcase. Just to dump her, mutilate her and then try to kill himself (but failed)! He can do that to a little girl, but he cant even succeed in killing himself? I wish that it wasnt this way. I wish i could go back and change it. But i cant and im stuck with it. Although, it did teach me some very valuable life lessons about what really matters in life. It did teach me to make the most of the present and of every oppotunity i get, like she did. And to value the people around me. Because you just dont know when it might all come to an end. If you spend time obsessing all the time over things that could have been different, you miss the oppotunities that are coming today. Every day is a blessing, and every day you dont ever get back. Its not what you achieve or how much money you make. Its about who you meet along the way, and the process of getting to your goal. She tried to see the best in every sinlge person, no matter what they were like. I can tell you her funeral was staning room only. My Mom was able to get a seat. My brother and myself stood with our friends to the side. I remember my mom saying on the way there that she didnt know what to say to her own kids. Why this had happened to us. To a girl that we were both very good friends with. I remember before it started, i looked over at my mom and she was in tears. Then i looked at my other best friend dan and he put his arm around me. Another girl that went to our high school, her name was Jessie came, even though she didnt know hannah at all. People came from all over just to say goodbye. One of our old teachers came across the country. Even the cleaner at our primary school was there. She just had such a big impact on so many people.
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