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Post by debbie71 on Jun 25, 2011 0:01:11 GMT -5
Hello my name is Debbie I live in Indianapolis In and last year July I did one thing I never thought I wou ld have to do I barried my brother Bob. On july 21 last year about 12:00am an old friend knock on my door to tell me my brother had been shot and from there on it all happen really fast I really dont remember a whole lot sometimes I sit and think and things come back too me but it was like I was in fast foward for a couple months. Two men broke into my brother house to rob him and shot him twice and then beat him over the head with an end table. The police had they suspects in custody within 4 hrs and in the next couple days we start trial. I am really scared and for some reason I am really scare. I need advice I need a stranger to talk to someone that has been there. Attachments:
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jun 25, 2011 7:18:19 GMT -5
Hello my name is Debbie I live in Indianapolis In and last year July I did one thing I never thought I wou ld have to do I barried my brother Bob. On july 21 last year about 12:00am an old friend knock on my door to tell me my brother had been shot and from there on it all happen really fast I really dont remember a whole lot sometimes I sit and think and things come back too me but it was like I was in fast foward for a couple months. Two men broke into my brother house to rob him and shot him twice and then beat him over the head with an end table. The police had they suspects in custody within 4 hrs and in the next couple days we start trial. I am really scared and for some reason I am really scare. I need advice I need a stranger to talk to someone that has been there. Dear Debbie71, I'm very sorry about Bob. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. You may want to see if there's a Parents of Murdered Children meeting near you. There's a link to them on here. They can also give you advice about going to trial and their website is a wonderful resource. There's also MVS on here who can understand what you're going through. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by aaronsmom on Jun 26, 2011 0:09:07 GMT -5
There is no reason to be afraid of anything concerning the trial. Just go -- but take something with you to do -- some knitting or applique or even a small book (although understanding what you are reading will be difficult). There is a lot of 'down' time during a trial and you will want something to do. However, you shouldn't be doing anything while the trial is going on, it will be important for you to not appear to be distracted during the proceedings. Help the prosecutor all you can and provide no more information than is necessary to the defense attorneys. Do not talk to the media until the trial is over.
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Post by debbie71 on Jun 26, 2011 0:23:23 GMT -5
ty for the welcome pumpkin!!!!! Aaron have u been through before? I was wondering because people have told me alot of things I am scared they will try to make my brother look like a bad person? And I have alot of questions about the senticing they were four people involed and two have signed pleas and I was wondering if anyone has any guidance and what to say
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Post by aaronsmom on Jun 26, 2011 10:58:01 GMT -5
Yes, I have spent numerous hours on this site since 1999. I was one of the first ones here but have not participated much in the last 7 or 8 years -- really felt I had said all I could about every topic discussed so should bow out and let others carry on -- whom I might add seem to have done a wonderful job of helping others that find themselves trying to cope with the grief and the legal system (if lucky enough that the murderer was caught).
Of course, the defense attorneys ('scum of the earth') will paint your brother as the worst person on the planet -- they think that is their job -- which it is not; but, that is a tactic they use hoping to sway someone on the jury. I doubt that tactic ever works. As far as you having to say anything, unless you testify, you will not be required to say anything. Since you were nowhere around when the murder occurred, it is highly unlikely you will be called. As for the sentencing, that will be up to the judge. You can prepare a statement to be read at the sentencing hearing but it will have little affect on the outcome as the judge has pretty strict guidelines as to what he/she can and cannot do so if you don't feel comfortable writing one, don't -- but since most judges will let you read it, that is pretty easy to do; and, if nothing else, will make you feel better.
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Post by debbie71 on Jun 26, 2011 22:39:36 GMT -5
yeah my mother is verifying that he was who they say he was and so I dont have to talk durning trial they having two separte trials and four sentencing dates. Thank you for advice it makes me feel a little better
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Post by betteroffsingle on Jun 27, 2011 11:32:03 GMT -5
Hello Debbie. My name is Deborah. I too have lived through the hurt anger etc of losing my brother in a double homicide just this past Feb 16th. I'm still waking up and having to try to accept my reality that Bennett is not going to answer my call to his cel, he will not be at mom's for xmas, he will not be calling me on monday night football singing Hank's song "are you ready for some football" as I write this I am crying. I don't know how to do this either. deb
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Post by debbie71 on Jun 27, 2011 20:22:37 GMT -5
I am sorry Deborah that we have to go throught this and I still wake up some morning thinking it was just a dream my mother got involed in drugs when I was young but my brother always made sure I was taken care of and as we got older I tried to take of him and now I am lost... I tryed talking to coulsner but didnt really work out how about u
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jun 28, 2011 9:32:43 GMT -5
Hello Debbie. My name is Deborah. I too have lived through the hurt anger etc of losing my brother in a double homicide just this past Feb 16th. I'm still waking up and having to try to accept my reality that Bennett is not going to answer my call to his cel, he will not be at mom's for xmas, he will not be calling me on monday night football singing Hank's song "are you ready for some football" as I write this I am crying. I don't know how to do this either. deb Dear betteroffsingle, I'm very sorry about your brother. I'm glad you found this board and hope you find some comfort here. The feelings you're having are normal. I'm very glad you're not repressing them and are allowing yourself to cry. I learned that repression for an MVS doesn't work (I did it for years) and it only distracts from the emotions, etc., that need to be expressed in order to heal. Again, welcome to the board. Take care.
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Post by melody on Jun 28, 2011 23:01:59 GMT -5
Hi Debbie,
I see you are from Texas, is that where your brother was murdered? My brother was murdered in TX as well, and by four culprits as well. Two of them took pleas and testified against the other two, they are all in prison now. One was sentenced to 99 years, one to 45 years, one to 25 and the last to 20. The one who actually killed my brother is the one with 99, the others either held him down or lured him.
My experience with TX justice is there is not a lot of down time and they move things along quickly. I am grateful for that, because we are from CA and the court process moves really slow here.
The defense did try to say my brother was a bad person and he should not have been where he was, the jury totally saw through that... and they saw us, his 3 loving sisters in the courtroom. Your presence will speak volumes to say this is a life that mattered, and still matters and they will see that. After the last trial we met with the jury and showed them pics of my brother in happy times, not the evidence pics they saw of his remains. They hugged us and told us they were so sorry.
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Post by debbie71 on Jun 30, 2011 8:24:30 GMT -5
wow melody that sounds alot like what happen to my brother but I am from Indiana but there where four suspects involed the 2 girls took pleas and we had trial on the first one the past three days I am so glad to say they found him quilty on all five counts murder, felony murder,robbery,consiracy to commit robbery and carrying a hand gun with out a lisence. Sentenceing is next month did u or ur sisters talk at sentencing
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 2, 2011 9:07:52 GMT -5
I am sorry Deborah that we have to go throught this and I still wake up some morning thinking it was just a dream my mother got involed in drugs when I was young but my brother always made sure I was taken care of and as we got older I tried to take of him and now I am lost... I tryed talking to coulsner but didnt really work out how about u Dear debbie71, sometimes it takes a few tries to find a counselor that's the right "fit" for you. This board will also help you heal as the people on here know 100% what it's like as they're MVS also.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jul 2, 2011 9:08:43 GMT -5
ty for the welcome pumpkin!!!!! Aaron have u been through before? I was wondering because people have told me alot of things I am scared they will try to make my brother look like a bad person? And I have alot of questions about the senticing they were four people involed and two have signed pleas and I was wondering if anyone has any guidance and what to say You're welcome. ;D
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