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Post by hurtinsf on Aug 8, 2011 18:39:12 GMT -5
Hi Folks, I just got the date from the murder trial of my brother-in-law who murdered my sister eight months ago in cold blood.
I plan on going to the trial and want to know what to expect or to hear about people's experiences of going through a family member's murder trial.
The prosecutor and the victim's advocate have been VERY unhelpful to me when it comes to sharing information about the case or even the dates. They even told me they don't have share information with me because I am just a "sibling". I had to find out the date by logging into the court system's website.
My parents are still trying to justify his actions and probably wouldn't go to the trial or may even be witnesses for the defensive so I will be the ONLY close relative supporting the prosecution.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Aug 9, 2011 12:16:19 GMT -5
Hello hurtinsf, I hope you are making it okay from day to day, and that you are taking care of you. Mary has outlined a very good description of the basic steps that happen at trial here at this thread, you can click on the link: murdervictims.proboards.com/index....ead=1347&page=1Before and during trial were very very tense times for me, my advice would be gather all the support you have available around you, and let people help if they offer to. Do you know if you will be testifying? I know that is one of the things that felt like I was doing it for her, so she would have some kind of voice in that courtroom speaking for her. I had to go to my daughter's murderers trial. I had to see it for myself, if there was any way I could. There were some parts I did not look at, for example, I left the courtroom when they were showing autopsy photos - that I could not do. I wanted to see for myself what was or was not proven though. And as hard as it was to see, I really think it would have been worse to wonder, when I never had to. I also carried a small picture of my daughter with me, so when I needed to, I could look at it in my hand, a picture of her as she was when she was alive - that gave me strength somehow to do it for her. My heart goes out to you, if you have other questions, let us know. big cyber ((((HUGS)))) to you, Janet
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Post by aaronsmom on Aug 10, 2011 8:19:22 GMT -5
Janet - I wouldn't have missed a moment of the trial for the murderer of my son and I had 'support' friends with me as well as my other son, husband, and Aaron's ex-wife. Although my husband would not stay for the 'autopsy' portion, my other son and I did. We knew Aaron was no longer in his body and was not in it during that procedure so we mentally prepared ourselves that way (I didn't want anything to be said in that courtroom that I didn't hear). I had a notebook and took notes the whole time during both trials. I was scheduled to testify in the first trial; but, fortunately, the defense attorney changed his mind.
As for pictures, of course, none are allowed in the courtroom during the trial other than a small one like you carried. However, at sentencing I had six very large framed head-shot photographs of Aaron taken within the last month of his life in various areas of the courtroom plus his ashes (by my side). It might have been 15 years ago, but recalling that episode in my life is still as painful as if it happened yesterday - definitely is a LWOP sentence for us murder victims.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Aug 10, 2011 12:25:30 GMT -5
I know what you mean Aaronsmom, I planned to tough it out and see it all too. But when they put up that first picture taken at the autopsy, I almost lost it - so I had to leave. It was just her sweet face with her eyes closed but the shaved parts of her head showing the bullet wounds, and I thought of how I loved to just sit and watch her sleep, ever since she was a baby, and never would be able to do that again. And I triggered. I got through the other things - crime scene photos, depictions of angles of wounds, and all the other.
I think that is one of the big reasons it's so important to have someone with you - in addition to the support, and for this reason too. The others who could stay were able to tell me what the ME testified while the pictures were up, and the victims assistance lady came and told me when the pictures were down, and I heard the end of the ME's testimony myself.
If we have someone with us we can trust to tell us what went on, then we can leave if we do need to, and still know what we came to find out. My oldest daughter and some others stayed. My husband came out with me, since it surprised him when I left.
And you are right, we can't take pictures that the jury might see into the trial - only one of each victim could be presented to the jury to show them how they looked when they were alive. It was a small print that I kept in a little journal to write in, and could put it in my hand so no one else could see.
You were posting here when I first found this board (in it's prior website). I can remember how much reading your posts helped me when I was first learning to walk around in this. Bless you, Aaronsmom for sharing this walk, even though I wish none of us had to. Yes you are right, we already have LWOP.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Aug 12, 2011 6:46:17 GMT -5
Hi Folks, I just got the date from the murder trial of my brother-in-law who murdered my sister eight months ago in cold blood. I plan on going to the trial and want to know what to expect or to hear about people's experiences of going through a family member's murder trial. The prosecutor and the victim's advocate have been VERY unhelpful to me when it comes to sharing information about the case or even the dates. They even told me they don't have share information with me because I am just a "sibling". I had to find out the date by logging into the court system's website. My parents are still trying to justify his actions and probably wouldn't go to the trial or may even be witnesses for the defensive so I will be the ONLY close relative supporting the prosecution. Dear hurtinsf, Parents of Murdered Children is a great place to get advice on going to trial. There's a link to them on here. This is 1 area I feel bad about that I can't be of much help because my familys' case never went to trial. Our case was unusual also in that it involved mental competency of the murderer and that puts you in pretty much different parts of the courts, etc. Anyway, I'm very glad POMC is there to help and I can at least refer those in need to them! ;D
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Post by chelle25 on Aug 15, 2011 21:30:14 GMT -5
i won't be able to handle a trial...just being in the the same room as the murderer & his supporting family makes me gag on my vomit. i went to court over a ticket a few months ago & they called a murderer in for parole ( i think ). he was escorted by guards & had the whole orange suit & handcuffs....i kept my eyes down but it took everything in me not to run out of there....i heard the judge say something to the effect of ' when the blood pools '....that was it...that's all it took & i bolted. it wasn't my family member, hell i didn't even know this guy. i just couldn't take it.
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Post by aaronsmom on Aug 16, 2011 8:26:49 GMT -5
Chelle: If you can't do it, you can't do it -- but hopefully some other family members and/or friends will be able to be seen by the jury sitting on the 'prosecution side' of the courtroom. The jury is very aware of the number of people supporting the victim on a daily basis and one definitely wants to impress them favorably -- every little bit helps -- particularly in a murder trial where there is mainly circumstantial evidence.
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