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Post by mom2young on Dec 28, 2011 8:43:11 GMT -5
I have been haunted with the question from my kids sometimes, "how did grandma die", I have said , she was sick and avoidance has been my coping skill. I am the master of avoiding the subject for 17 yrs. My kids are 13 and 10 (almost). They never knew their grandma, but we tell my son he has her blue eyes. My mom was killed by my stepdad, they were married for 12 yrs. All my childhood holidays were by his side of the family. My childhood trips were with his two kids. I never speak of any childhood holidays or trips cuz they are bad memories now. Most of my mom's pictures are wripped in half. My kids don't even know I had a steparent, yet alone an evil one. Sometimes I feel I should tell them this year, but Im afraid it'll just go viral to their friends like a gossip story. What do you think?
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Dec 28, 2011 15:00:10 GMT -5
These must be very strong fears to have held you for so long. I don't know that my advice would be what you need right now. Most of my worst fears and most painful things - I worked through those with my therapist first (I went for years), and with the POMC support group that I used to go to. If there is not a POMC support group near enough for you, you could look for other grief support groups - Compassionate Friends has many chapters also. There is a link to POMC near the top of the main page of this discussion board - you can look to see if there is a group that meets near you on their site. I would also recommend some kind of counseling/therapy for ANY murder victim survivor, whether it be private, or through public assistance sources.
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Post by mom2young on Jan 9, 2012 0:48:42 GMT -5
ok, I told them tonight and my daughter tried to cheer me up with ice cream and m y 13 yr old son just listened, seemed a lil shocked and went in the other room. Sorta like rest of society, we will continue each day. That was sorta a bomb on him out of the blue, but I feel relieved, no secrets. anymore. It was hurting me more then anyone. Talk, even if it is 17 yrs later. better late then never
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Jan 10, 2012 11:15:49 GMT -5
ok, I told them tonight and my daughter tried to cheer me up with ice cream and m y 13 yr old son just listened, seemed a lil shocked and went in the other room. Sorta like rest of society, we will continue each day. That was sorta a bomb on him out of the blue, but I feel relieved, no secrets. anymore. It was hurting me more then anyone. Talk, even if it is 17 yrs later. better late then never Thanks for the update! Take care.
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