Post by c21king2queen on Dec 28, 2011 17:22:33 GMT -5
Once again I managed to survive another Christmas without my husband. I pray every day for God's help just to get through each day. I pray for strength and courage that I don't have and need. I pray for God to help me continue to be a good mother to my fatherless son, to be able to provide, care for, protect and raise my son who is living with Autism. I pray for Justice for my husband's murder and for all that my son and I have been through and will continue to go through. I pray for God to help me grow old alone because I will never know what it is like to grow old with someone. I will never know what it is like to grow old with the man I love. My husband is always with my son and I in love, in our hearts and memories. I wish that he could really be with us everyday. Sometimes in life we just have to accept the way things are and learn to live with it. We don't always get what we deserve, need and want in life. We have to try to be happy with what we have and try to make the most of things. I struggle everyday. It has been 3 years and 8 months since my husband was murdered. I am still praying, waiting and fighting for Justice. One suspect plead guilty and agreed to testify against the other suspect last summer. Now they tell me the trial may take place in mid 2012. I don't understand why they are not making this case a priority and moving ahead with a trial. They said they had enough without the 1 suspect taking a plea deal to convict the other suspect for life without parole. So why is it taking so long? I certainly hope they finally get it right after this case has been so badly mishandled and dragging out so long. Christmas has been another emotional roller coaster for me. I have been thinking of my husband and how he should be here. I think that everyday. No one can give back, repay, or replace the life that has been taken from my husband, son and I. So I pray everyday, even numerous times a day for God to help me with all of this.