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Post by c21king2queen on Feb 1, 2012 14:47:31 GMT -5
For nearly 4 years since my husband was murdered, there have been countless times even on a daily basis that I have thought my husband should be here. These times are both good and bad, happy and sad times. When we should have been celebrating our 2nd Wedding Anniversary, I thought my husband should be here. When my son was diagnosed with Autism just 10 months after my husband's murder, I thought my husband should be here. With everything that has been going on with my Mom's battle with cancer, especially right now when the cancer has spread and she is in so much pain and spends very little time out of bed to sit up or walk a little....I find myself saying my husband should be here. He should have been here for the last nearly 4 years and he should be here now to help take care of and raise our son, to offer me love, support, understanding, caring, help and be my shoulder to lean on and cry on and to share the joyous moments and laugh together and to weather the ups and downs of life together. If I really want to be honest, even when he was alive he wasn't really there for me in some ways that I needed the most. I still love him and miss him everyday. He is always with my son and I in love, in our hearts and memories, but it is not the same as having him physically here alive and well. I have had to deal with so much on my own. Somehow God is giving me strength and courage even in my weakest moments. I don't feel strong. I feel so tired. I have had too much to deal with on my own. I keep praying for God to help me. Somehow by the Grace of God I manage to wake up each day and get through yet another day. I am now spending my days taking care of my son and my mother when she is not in the hospital. No one is taking care of me, only God. I pray often for God to take care of my husband in Heaven and let him know that we love him and miss him everyday. My son's Birthday is coming up this month. My husband should be here to help celebrate. I really wish he could be here. He is not here because evil, selfish and greedy people decided that a piece of land is worth more than a human life. My husband's life was priceless, precious, and irreplaceable. No one can ever give back, repay, or replace the life that has been taken from my husband, son, and I.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Feb 1, 2012 23:02:47 GMT -5
For nearly 4 years since my husband was murdered, there have been countless times even on a daily basis that I have thought my husband should be here. These times are both good and bad, happy and sad times. When we should have been celebrating our 2nd Wedding Anniversary, I thought my husband should be here. When my son was diagnosed with Autism just 10 months after my husband's murder, I thought my husband should be here. With everything that has been going on with my Mom's battle with cancer, especially right now when the cancer has spread and she is in so much pain and spends very little time out of bed to sit up or walk a little....I find myself saying my husband should be here. He should have been here for the last nearly 4 years and he should be here now to help take care of and raise our son, to offer me love, support, understanding, caring, help and be my shoulder to lean on and cry on and to share the joyous moments and laugh together and to weather the ups and downs of life together. If I really want to be honest, even when he was alive he wasn't really there for me in some ways that I needed the most. I still love him and miss him everyday. He is always with my son and I in love, in our hearts and memories, but it is not the same as having him physically here alive and well. I have had to deal with so much on my own. Somehow God is giving me strength and courage even in my weakest moments. I don't feel strong. I feel so tired. I have had too much to deal with on my own. I keep praying for God to help me. Somehow by the Grace of God I manage to wake up each day and get through yet another day. I am now spending my days taking care of my son and my mother when she is not in the hospital. No one is taking care of me, only God. I pray often for God to take care of my husband in Heaven and let him know that we love him and miss him everyday. My son's Birthday is coming up this month. My husband should be here to help celebrate. I really wish he could be here. He is not here because evil, selfish and greedy people decided that a piece of land is worth more than a human life. My husband's life was priceless, precious, and irreplaceable. No one can ever give back, repay, or replace the life that has been taken from my husband, son, and I. Hello dear lady, You are so right - he should be here. This is all so unnatural to have our loved ones torn from us only for someone else's selfish brutal actions. You are also right that you are strong. I think you are very brave too, even though I wish there was not this reason for you to have to be. Is there some kind of home health care that can come to help your mother, at least at times? Would that help relieve some of this for you? Praying for you dear lady, that some comfort and some help will be found.
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