|
Wow
Feb 20, 2012 22:04:40 GMT -5
Post by crustal1989 on Feb 20, 2012 22:04:40 GMT -5
So tomorrow marks a year and a half since my dad was killed. I get that I stopped counting the weeks and months, but now that its a year and a half it feels like the world is just standing still. I have no answers, not a name, not even a location of this piece of shi*. I dont get how I'm supposed to keep living my life. I live alone which I hate (being left with my thoughts sucks).
I hear that it gets easier, but these are from people who've lost their whoever's in not ridiculous ways like I have (Not that I mean to take away from their grief). I drink because I dont want to hurt myself, but I hurt myself because I dont want to drink. There is no middle ground. What am I supposed to do when I want to explode?
A year and a half ago some *not a very nice person*set my dad's house on fire with him in it. My dad probably knew he was going to die in there. Did he think of me? Did he think "oh shi* i'm going to die, and list off all his regrets? What did he do. Well I'll never have the chance.
Slowly I'm starting to realize that they may never charge this guy. And Its super hard to deal with that reality. Any of you out there ever not get justice? Because I'm starting to feel like that could happen to me...
Happy Sunday Crystal
|
|
|
Wow
Feb 23, 2012 13:36:02 GMT -5
Post by haesunrichardson on Feb 23, 2012 13:36:02 GMT -5
So sorry about your dad. It'll be 11 yrs next week since I lost my mother and brother and it still hurts, always will but as you've heard, yes, it does get "better"...and little better every year. Now I know that sounds crazy and ridiculous right now, however in time, it does happen, "when, when..." I kept asking myself.... I took things to numb my emotions for many years....it seemed like it was helping but in reality, it just prolonged my pain.....I know that now. Therapy and counseling is important, I still go 2-3 times a year. I want you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know, it's dark, smokey, vague, streaks, tiny light and then that tiny light gets bigger and bigger and you will find an acceptable level of desired life to live. It is normal to have questions, I too asked those same questions... I know it hurts, I want you to know there is someone else out there that has felt or is feeling what you are forced to experience. It will get better hon. I pray you get justice, and to be strong. hsr
|
|
|
Wow
Feb 27, 2012 12:59:36 GMT -5
Post by szaman1 on Feb 27, 2012 12:59:36 GMT -5
Dear Crystal:
My husband and I have not gotten justice for this loss of his Mother. She was stabbed in her home, and the police know who did it, but he has not been arrested. I understand how it feels to know the person that has casued so much harm and grief is living his life without repercussions. Sometimes we are so angry we cannot even express it. I'm so sorry for what happened to your dad. I just wanted to say I share your sorrow.
|
|
|
Wow
Feb 27, 2012 20:50:01 GMT -5
Post by kmwhitley on Feb 27, 2012 20:50:01 GMT -5
So sorry for your loss of your dad and with no justice...I lost my mom 18 years ago and we did get justice but it doesn't make the pain any easier to deal with because the girl that shot my mom her dad was also involved by he got off scott free at the time...so for 15 years I lived in fear that he would come after my family and I since I took custody of his son from him because that is what the murder was all about...he wanted custody of my half brother...but 3 years ago I found out he had passed away then I felt some relief that justice had finally been given to my mom.
|
|
|
Wow
Mar 2, 2012 1:54:25 GMT -5
Post by feeney on Mar 2, 2012 1:54:25 GMT -5
All those feelings but nowhere for them to go. I think this is the worst part of losing someone to violence. All the anger you feel at the injustice of what has happened, all the rage towards the murderer, the desire for revenge or at least some form of justice. There are so many extreme emotions and "normal" people with normal lives don't get it. If you internalize it you only end up hurting yourself. I wish I had the solution. My Dad was killed 7 months ago and I am now entering a phase where I feel a lot of people around me are thinking that it was tragic but it's time to start getting back to normal life. I don't think I will ever feel normal again. I hope you can find some small comfort in knowing that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.
|
|