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Post by dblvictim on Feb 23, 2012 23:14:43 GMT -5
yesterday was trevor's 21st birthday. it was my 50th. a day that was supposed to be a celebration. two milestones when it comes to birthdays. it's hard to be happy when you share the same birthdate with your murdered child. i went to his grave to say happy birthday. some of his friends were there, they'd been there for a few hours. his brother/best friend showed up. his birthday is four days after trevors. they are less than a year apart. yesterday i woke-up crying, spent most of the day crying. today i feel like i went through a war zone. people tell me to be happy, to celebrate his life. they just don't get what it feels like. I remember when he was born. i remember when he was little. i remember seeing him in his casket, 17 years later. i remember all the things i wont be able to see him do. i remember hearing "hey mom". i remember the shotgun blasts, the news person telling the story, knowing it was my son who died, hearing the detective apologizing to me when she told me he died. i remember my world crashing down around me. i remember my heart and soul dying. i remember never celebrating another birthday with him.
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Post by pumpkin12903 on Feb 25, 2012 14:47:24 GMT -5
yesterday was trevor's 21st birthday. it was my 50th. a day that was supposed to be a celebration. two milestones when it comes to birthdays. it's hard to be happy when you share the same birthdate with your murdered child. i went to his grave to say happy birthday. some of his friends were there, they'd been there for a few hours. his brother/best friend showed up. his birthday is four days after trevors. they are less than a year apart. yesterday i woke-up crying, spent most of the day crying. today i feel like i went through a war zone. people tell me to be happy, to celebrate his life. they just don't get what it feels like. I remember when he was born. i remember when he was little. i remember seeing him in his casket, 17 years later. i remember all the things i wont be able to see him do. i remember hearing "hey mom". i remember the shotgun blasts, the news person telling the story, knowing it was my son who died, hearing the detective apologizing to me when she told me he died. i remember my world crashing down around me. i remember my heart and soul dying. i remember never celebrating another birthday with him. I hope you got through the day as best as possible. Take care.
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Post by aftertherain on Mar 13, 2012 8:27:44 GMT -5
I know what that is like. When it was Dads birthday I didn't leave the house. I send hugs and hope you can get through the day.
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