Post by c21king2queen on Nov 11, 2012 16:18:06 GMT -5
Now that we made it through my husband's trial, I have been feeling lost and wondering what now. Where do I go from here. My husband and son's father was murdered. My son and I have been going through hell. We waited about 4 and 1/2 years for 1 suspect to be sentenced to Life Without Parole plus 27 years and the other suspect sentenced to 12 and 1/2 years. 10 months after my husband's murder my son was diagnosed with Autism. My mother had already been battling Kidney Cancer for several years. I buried my Mom 3 days before the trial began. My son has come a long way since he was diagnosed with Autism. After all that, what now? I am feeling lost and in a sense let down after I have had to deal with so much. Where do I go from here? I am a Widow and Single Mom of a child on the Autism Spectrum. I am the only parent my son has. My Dad is the only grandparent and closest thing to a father figure that my son has. This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be the 1st without my Mom and the 1st since my husband's trial and some Justice. It will already seem sad. We are not doing Christmas presents this year for the 1st time because I can't afford it. I have already told my son that Santa won't be bringing Christmas presents this year due the bad economy. I am sure he won't really understand it. I hate to disappoint him. Christmas isn't about the toys or presents. The true meaning of Christmas is celebrating the birth of Christ. Christ lived and died for us. Life and Love are the greatest gifts of all. Being able to pay the electric bill, water bill, cable, phone, and buy groceries is more important and our gifts from Santa this year. It may seem like we are less fortunate than some. My son and I have each other, we are alive, and we love each other. That is what is important. That is everything and more valuable than anything. We are still blessed. There are still things to be Thankful for. I still feel a sense of being lost with a lack of direction. I keep praying that God will help me with that.