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Post by malissalynn on Feb 28, 2013 11:18:29 GMT -5
My sister was murdered on Oct. 6 2011. The trial is finally set for March 19. I have been asked to write a statement and to speak at sentencing. I don't know where to begin the letter. How can anyone put into words how it has affected them? I really want to write the statement but I dont know how. I have started many times. I'm running out of time to write it. I feel absolutely lost. As for speaking at sentencing, I dont want to. I don't beleive I would be able to speak. I feel as though I will be letting her down if I dont. Just thinking about it makes my heart feel heavy and my palms sweety. If anyone else has ever had to do this could really use some advice. No one I talk to really seems to understand. They say just write a letter and get it over with. You're stronger than this. I don't feel strong right now. I feel vulnerable.
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Post by Janet-Beth's Mom on Feb 28, 2013 14:26:58 GMT -5
My sister was murdered on Oct. 6 2011. The trial is finally set for March 19. I have been asked to write a statement and to speak at sentencing. I don't know where to begin the letter. How can anyone put into words how it has affected them? I really want to write the statement but I dont know how. I have started many times. I'm running out of time to write it. I feel absolutely lost. As for speaking at sentencing, I dont want to. I don't beleive I would be able to speak. I feel as though I will be letting her down if I dont. Just thinking about it makes my heart feel heavy and my palms sweety. If anyone else has ever had to do this could really use some advice. No one I talk to really seems to understand. They say just write a letter and get it over with. You're stronger than this. I don't feel strong right now. I feel vulnerable. Dear Malissalynn, I am so sorry your sister was taken from you. I am so sorry you know this pain too. But I really believe if I could do this, then you can too. Before and during trial were very very tense times for me, my advice would be gather all the support you have around you, and let people help if they offer to. Testifying/victim impact was something I felt I was doing for my daughter, so she would have some kind of voice in that courtroom speaking for her. I was so afraid too, afraid that I would mess up. But you know what, as long as it is heartfelt and gives the listener a sense of who your sister was, who was taken from you and from us all - it can only help. Think about your sister. Imagine how you would describe her to someone who never had the pleasure of knowing her. What was most special about her? What were her dreams for the future? What were your dreams for her future? What is the world missing because she is not with us anymore? (I know this hurts) My heart goes out to you. I read the sample victim impact statements on this site before I wrote mine. They were a BIG help to me. And being able to read it made it much easier for me than it would have been otherwise. They can be found at: www.murdervictims.com/VictimImpact.htmIf you meet with the prosecutors before trial, ask them if you can go into an empty courtroom that is set up the same as the one you will be in. Ask them where you will have to sit or stand, and actually walk up to there while you visit. I sat in that witness stand before the trial, and doing that ahead of time made at least that one thing more familiar. If you have any other questions let us know. Prayers and be strong. Janet
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Post by bethsfriend on Apr 11, 2013 16:19:31 GMT -5
Malissalynn,
First let me say that I am so sorry for everything that you have gone through and will continue to go through. When I first started writing my VIS I didn't know where to start. I never though I could put what I was feeling into words. Write it from your heart. Write it to the judge not to the murderer. You never know what part of what you're saying will hit home. The judge actually quoted a line in mine that I didn't think would have major impact but it did. Beth's killer got sentenced to 40 years. It won't bring her back, nothing will but he, the court, and Beth's family got to hear how I feel. Writing the VIS is never easy but it's finally YOUR turn to be heard!
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